MASTER 
NEGATIVE 


NO.  94 


12 


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Author: 


Smart,  Walter  Kay 


Title: 


How  to  write  business 
letters 

Place: 

New  York 

Date: 

1919 


MASTER   NEGATIVE  * 


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How  to  write  Imalneao  letters.  ed»  by  Walter  r 
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LIBRARY    !      •       /         * 


School  of  Business 


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HOW  TO  WRITE 

BUSINESS  LETTERS 


EDITED  BY 

WALTER  K.  SMART,  PH.  D. 

HEAD  OP  THE  DEPARTMENT  OF  ENGUSH  OF  ARMOUR  INSTITUTE  OF 

TECHNOLOGY  AND  LECTURER  ON  BUSINESS  CORRESPONDENCE  IN 

THE  SCHOOL  OF  CO^LMERCE  OF  NORTHWESTERN  UNF^^ERSITY 


IN  COLLABORATION  WITH 

THE  EDITORIAL  STAFF  OF  SYSTEM 


A.  W.  SHAW  COMPANY 

NEW  YORK       CHICAGO       LONDON 


1920 


COPYRIGHT  1»1«,  BY  A.  W.  SHAW  COMPANY 

HinikFrintint 


ymff«D  ni  tn  tmnsD  •«▲»  ov  *imi04 


9 ■ 


CONTENTS 


Chapteb 

Page 

I.    THE  TONE  OP  A  BUSINESS  LETTER y 

n.    THE  MAKE-UP  OP  A  BUSINESS  LETTER 

m.    INQUIRY.  CONTRACT,  AND  ROUTINE  LETTERS         ...        19 
IV.    ADJUSTING  COMPLAINTS  BY  LETTER  . 

V.    COLLECTING  BY  MAtt 

43 

VI.    WHAT  A  SALES  LETTER  MUST  DO 

00 

Vn.    GETTING  ATTENTION  AND  AROUSING  INTEEEST 
Vin.    EXPLANATION-DESCRIBING  THE  PRODUCT     ...  gl 

IX.  PROVING  YOUR  CLAIMS    . 

88 

X.  PERSUADING  THE  PROSPECT  TO  BUY  . 

*        •        •        •        •       M 

XI.    WHAT  INDUCEMENTS  TO  OFFER 

108 

Xn.    SUMMARY  AND  CLIMAX-CLINCHING  THE  SALE     ...      109 

Xm.    DEVEIX)PING  A  FOLLOW-UP  SERIES 

^^^ 118 


XIV.    NEWS  VALUE 185 

XV.    GIVING  YOUR  LETTERS  PERSONALITY 140 

XVI.    THE  "YOU"  INTEREST 140 

INDEX U7 


Exhibit  of  Acttual  Letters  Reproduced 


ANNOUNCEMENT 


COICMON  ERBOB8  IN  ABRANOBMENT 14 

WELL-BALANCED  ABRANOEMENT       • 15 

HOW  ONE  COMPANY  WBITE8  A  REFEBENCE  LETTEB 23 

▲  COMPLAINT  LETTEB  AND  AN  X7NTACTFUL  BEPLT 86 

TACTFUL  BEPLT  TO  THE  SAME  COMPLAINT 87 

COLLECTION  LETTEB  SEBIES 54-56 

WELL-BUILT  SALES  LETTEB 62 

A  POOB  LETTEB,  WITHOUT  SALES  TALUB  ..••.•..  64 

THE  SAME  PBOPOSITION  IN  WINNING  FOBM •  •  65 

A  GOOD  LETTEB  SHOWING  HOW  ATTENTION  MAT  BE  WON 71 

LETTEB  THAT  HOLDS  INTEREST  TO  THE  END  ......*.  75 

LETTEB  COBBECTLT  USING  EXPLANATION  AND  PBOOF 90,91 

A  BEPLT  TO  AN  INQUIRY,  FUBTHEB  STIMULATING  INTEBEST  .....  08 

THE  KIND  OF  BEPLY  TO  AVOID 99 

A  LETTEB  CLEVEBLY  EMBODYING  INDUCEMENT 105 

BALES  FOLLOW-UP  THAT  BROUGHT  BESULTS  •...»•••  106 
A  SALES  FOLLOW-UP  SHOWING  TYPICAL  FAULTS  .  .  .  .  '  .  .  .112 
THE  SAME  PBOPOSITION,  REWRITTEN  AND  CORRECTED 118 

▲  GOOD  LETTEB  LEADING  THE  BEADEB  TO  THE   BUYING  POINT       •  .  .  .115 

BALES  FOLLOW-UP  SERIES 121-125 

PUTTING  NEWS  VALUE  TO  WORK  IN  THE  SALES  LETTER  .  .  .  .  .137 

A  POOR  LETTER,  LACKING  IN  PERSONALITY  AND  APPEAL  .  .  •  .  .        142 

THE  SAME  ARTICLE  SOLD  IN  REAL  MAN-TO-MAN  TALK     ......        143 

GOOD  EXAMPLE  OF  STRONG  PERSONALITY  IN  A  SALES  LETTER         ....        145 

HOW  AN  ADVERTISING  MAN  SOLD  A  BOAT  BY  MAIL 146,  147 

HOW  THE  SELI^r's  INTEREST  CROWDS  OUT  THE  *'Y0U"   ELEMENT  .  .  .        152 

THE  SAME  LETTER  REWRITTEN  FROM  THE  BUYER'b  POI>fT  OF  VIEW        .  .  .        153 


rno  give  those  who  are  interested  in  the  study  of  business  cor- 
i.  respondenee  a  discussion  of  the  subject  at  once  brief,  logical, 
specific  and  practical  is  the  purpose  of  this  volume.  In  producing  it, 
the  demand  every  concern  feels  for  more  efficient  letter  writers  has 
'>een  a  controlling  factor.  Not  only  the  many  specimen  letters  and 
paragraphs  reproduced,  but  also  the  principles  and  rules  have  come 
out  of  the  hard-earned  experience  of  enterprising  concerns.  No  effort 
has  been  spared  to  arrange  this  specific  material  so  that  it  can  most 
readily  be  grasped  and  applied. 

Beginning  with  the  simplest  correspondence  matters  and  letter 
forms,  the  discussion  leads  up  to  the  writing  of  the  successful  sales 
letter,  which  is  perhaps  the  most  difficult  as  weU  as  the  most  important 
form  of  business  correspondence.  In  style  and  mechanical  form  the 
aim  has  been  to  make  the  book  in  a  measure  an  illustration  of  the  same 
arts  of  persuasion  upon  which  advertisements  and  business  letters 
depend  for  their  vitality. 

As  each  type  of  business  letter  is  taken  up,  the  reader  or  student 
IS  shown  how  to  construct  it  paragraph  by  paragraph ;  securing  atten- 
tion;  delivering  a  concise  selling  description,  stating  a  collection 
arrangement  or  putting  an  adjustment  into  persuasive  terms ;  proving 
a  claim ;  proposing  a  contract,  and  closing  the  letter  in  a  way  which 
urges  to  action.  As  he  works  out  these  paragraphs,  the  correspondent 
can  compare  them  with  actual  models  which  have  sold  goods,  adjusted 
difficult  complaints,  collected  slow  accounts  and  handled  efficiently  the 
various  problems  of  a  business. 


Only  the  free  access  to  the  confidential  data  of  business  houses 
which  the  publishers  have  for  many  years  enjoyed  has  made  this  work 
possible.  In  many  cases  the  source  and  history  of  these  actual  business 
letters  cannot  be  made  public.  Among  the  firms  which  may  be  men- 
tioned as  having  contributed  valuable  matter  are :  Portland  Silo  Com- 
pany, The  Regina  Company,  Franklin  Automobile  Company,  Frank 
E.  Davis  Company,  Horton  Manufacturing  Company,  Geo.  Stuhler's 
Sons  Company,  Peoples  Gas  Light  and  Coke  Company  of  Chicago, 
Story  &  Story,  Gray  &  Graham  Company,  Goodyear  Tire  and  Rubber 
Company,  Old  Town  Canoe  Company,  A.  B.  Farquhar  Company, 
Link-Belt  Company,  Holeproof  Hosiery  Company,  Superior  Under- 
wear Company,  and  Lasalle  and  Koch  Company. 

In  the  earlier  editions  of  the  book,  issued  under  the  title, 
**How  to  Write  Letters  That  Win,'*  of  which  many  printings  were 
demanded,  twelve  hundred  business  letters  were  studied,  classified,  and 
discussed.  In  the  present  completely  reconstructed  and  much  enlarged 
volume  more  than  nineteen  hundred  letters  have  been  considered.  The 
correspondence  files  of  many  concerns  have  also  been  studied,  and 
System's  editors  and  letter  writers,  especially  Mr.  Dennis,  Mr. 
Murphy  and  Mr.  Sumner,  have  contributed  freely  of  their  experience 
with  letter  work. 

For  the  present  edition,  credit  is  especially  due  to  Professor 
Smart,  head  of  the  English  department  of  Armour  Institute  of 
Technology  and  lecturer  on  business  correspondence  in  the  School  of 
Commerce  of  Northwestern  University,  who  has  contributed  much  new 
material,  and  has  thoroughly  revised  and  rearranged  the  book.  Grate- 
ful acknowledgment  is  made  also  to  the  hundreds  of  business  men  and 
teachers  whose  corrections  and  suggestions  bearing  upon  the  former 
editions  have,  we  hope,  made  the  present  volume  accurately  reflect 
the  best  correspondence  practice. 

THE  PUBLISHERS. 


CHAPTER  I 


THE  TONE  OF  A  BUSINESS 

LETTER 


T  F  THERE  has  been  one  development  in  the  last  gen- 
1  eration  that  has  contributed  more  than  any  other  to 
business  growth,  it  has  been  the  development  of  the 
business  letter.  Letters— right  letters— are  no  longer  the 
mere  stereotyped  paper  mediums  of  solicitation  and 
acknowledgment  They  are  living,  breathing  personaU- 
ties,  with  all  the  capabilities  and  characteristics  of  the 
men  behind  them. 

Forty  years  ago  the  only  letters  that  showed  symp- 
toms of  red-blooded  authorship  were  impassioned  love 
missives  and  the  controversial  letters  of  statesmen. 
Then  someone,  somewhere,  conceived  the  idea  that  human 
interest  could  be  woven  into  a  business  letter  as  well  as 
into  a  personal  message ;  that  a  business  letter,  after  all, 
was  but  a  personal  message;  and  that  it  was  possible 
to  talk  to  a  man  a  thousand  miles  away  in  the  same 
words  that  you  would  use  if  he  sat  beside  your  desk. 

That  discovery,  developed,  has  of  itself  dissolved  dis- 
tance and  placed  the  inter-relationship  of  business  men 
upon  a  basis  of  courtesy  and  intimacy  that  no  other  could 
accomplish.  And  more  important,  it  has  made  possible 
the  transaction  of  an  enormous  bulk  of  business  at  an 
insignificant  fraction  of  what  the  personal  handling  of 


Giving 
letters  a 
personal 
tone 


Business^ 
getting 
power  qf  the 
personal 
letter 


8 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 


Personal 
tone  means 
showing 
interest  in 
ihe  cttsUmier 


How  the 
personal  tone 
can  be 
secured 


Regard  each 
customer  as 
an  indi' 
vidual 


it  would  have  cost.  Over  one  hundred  million  dollars 
in  sales  made  by  one  house  last  year  entirely  by  mail — 
that  is  a  specific  example  of  results. 

Getting  this  personal  tone  in  a  business  letter  is 
largely  a  matter  of  showing  a  personal  interest  in  the 
customer  and  his  affairs.  If  you  are  writing  a  sales 
letter,  emphasize  the  benefit  he  will  derive  from  owning 
the  article  you  are  offering.  If  it  is  a  collection  letter, 
make  him  feel  that  you  are  fair,  and  considerate  of  his 
difficulties — until,  of  course,  he  has  shown  that  he 
deserves  no  consideration.  In  a  letter  answerinsr  a 
complaint,  not  only  adjust  the  difficulty,  but  show  your 
desire  to  satisfy  him  in  full,  and  make  him  realize  that 
you  really  value  his  patronage.  If  it  is  an  acknowledg- 
ment of  an  order,  put  a  little  warmth  into  your  thanks. 
In  other  words,  show  that  you  are  interested  in  the 
matter  about  which  you  are  writing,  and  that  you  do 
not  consider  it  merely  as  a  part  of  the  day's  routine 
work. 

In  the  simpler  forms  of  letters,  such  as  the  acknowl- 
edgment of  orders,  it  is  not  difficult  to  show  this  personal 
interest,  for  there  it  is  only  a  matter  of  dropping  a  few 
cordial  words  here  and  there  in  the  letter.  In  the  more 
complex  forms,  however,  such  as  the  sales  letter,  get- 
ting the  right  tone  will  require  a  special  effort. 

In  the  first  place  you  must  learn  to  look  upon  each 
of  your  customers  as  an  individual,  not  as  an  abstract 
being — one  of  a  thousand  men  all  of  whom  have  the 
same  characteristics.  The  latter  is  the  attitude  of  the 
old-school  correspondent.  He  says  the  same  thing  in 
the  same  way  every  time  he  writes  about  a  certain  matter. 
He  makes  no  attempt  to  adapt  his  letters  to  the  differ- 
ent classes  of  readers.  He  sees  men  in  the  mass,  not  as 
individuals ;  and  seeing  them  thus  he  cannot  help  making 
his  letters  formal  and  impersonal. 

We  are  not  arguing  here  that  you — ^the  correspond- 
ent— must   know    all   your    customers    personally,    for 


THE  TONE  OF  THE  LETTER 


that  is  obviously  impossible  in  a  large  business  concern. 
If  it  were  possible  for  you  to  do  this,  and  then  if  you 
would  dictate  a  personal  letter  to  each  customer,  you 
would  have  the  ideal  conditions  for  carrying  on  business 
correspondence.  But  since  this  ideal  is  unattainable, 
you  must  find  a  substitute  for  it — ^you  must  create  a 
typical  individual  to  whom  your  letters  are  to  bo 
written. 

The  first  step  in  this  process  of  creation  is  to  recog- 
nize the  fact  that  men  fall  into  certain  broad  classes  each 
of  which  has  certain  general  characteristics.  Then 
group  your  customers  according  to  these  classes.  There 
are  various  available  means  for  determining  to  which 
one  any  given  customer  belongs.  His  trade  or  profes- 
sion, and  the  section  of  country  in  which  he  lives  will 
give  some  idea.  Then  you  may  judge  from  his  letters, 
or  you  may  get  information  from  your  traveling  sales- 
men who  know  him,  or  you  may  form  an  estimate  from 
a  study  of  his  former  dealings  with  your  house.  This 
information  is  not  difficult  to  secure,  and  the  added  ef- 
fectiveness of  your  letters  will  more  than  repay  you  for 
the  extra  trouble  involved  in  gathering  it. 

Now,  having  placed  the  customer  in  a  certain  class, 
try  to  visualize  a  typical  representative — an  average  man 
— of  that  class.  Most  public  speakers  single  out  some 
person,  or  perhaps  two  or  three  persons,  in  the  audience, 
and  gauge  the  effect  of  their  speech  on  the  audience  by 
the  effect  on  them.  In  this  connection  it  is  also  interest- 
ing to  note  that  one  of  the  leading  magazines  on  business 
is  **  written  af  one  business  man,  who  is  known  to  the 
editors.  The  attitude  of  the  other  subscribers  toward 
the  magazine  is  judged  by  his  attitude,  and  his  opinion 
is  constantly  sought.  Of  course  he  is  not  told  that  his 
judgment  is  utilized  in  this  way,  for  the  value  of  the 
test  lies  in  his  being  unconscious  of  his  influence.  Like- 
wise, a  well-known  housekeeping  magazine  is  tested  out 
on  one  woman,  who  also  is  unaware  of  the  part  she  plays 


''CreaU"  a 

typical 

customer 


Place  each 
customer  in 
his  proper 
class 


Visualize  a 
representa- 
tive for  each 
class 


J' 


II 


10 


Test  the 
letter  on  this 
representa- 
tive 


Talk  to  him 
as  if  he  were 
at  your  desk 


Avoid  the 

stereotyped 

beginning 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

in  shaping  the  policy  of  the  paper.  These  people  are 
selected  as  typical  of  the  class  for  whom  the  speech  or  the 
magazine  is  intended. 

So  the  business  letter  writer  who  would  get  the  per- 
sonal tone  in  his  correspondence  picks  out  a  typical  rep- 
resentative of  each  class  of  customers.  It  is  usually 
some  one  whom  he  knows  personally;  and  as  he  writes, 
he  has  this  man*s  face  before  him  and  he  tests  his  letter^ 
by  the  imagined  effect  upon  his  representative. 

Having  selected  your  "average''  man,  now  talk  to 
him  as  if  he  were  face  to  face  with  you  in  your  office. 
Imagine  him  there,  and  then  try  to  talk  to  him  in  the 
meaningless  jargon  of  the  old-style  business  letter.  Try 
the  old  formulas,  * 'I  beg  to  advise,"  '*In  reply  to  your 
valued  favor,  would  say,"  and  a  hundred  others  like 
them.  Can  you  think  of  yourself  talking  to  a  flesh-and- 
blood  man  in  such  ridiculous  language ?  Then  don't  use 
it  in  your  letters.  You  can't  express  personal  interest 
in  such  stereotyped,  impersonal  language.  Write  natur- 
ally. Use  words  that  mean  something  definite.  Strive 
for  an  easy  conversational  tone. 

In  the  beginning  of  the  letter  avoid  worn-out  and 
meaningless  expressions,  such  as,  **In  reply  to  your 
esteemed  favor  of  the  12th  inst.  we  beg  to  advise,"  or 
''Your  valued  letter  of  the  15th  ult  is  at  hand,  and 
in  reply  would  say."  These  strike  the  wrong  note  at 
the  start;  they  can't  convey  any  feeling  of  personal 
interest.  If  you  want  to  acknowledge  the  receipt  of  a 
letter,  do  it  naturally;  as,  *'The  catalogue  for  which  you 
wrote  on  the  10th  is  being  mailed  to  you  today,"  or 
*' We  were  sorry  to  learn  from  your  letter  of  the  7th  that 
the  goods  were  damaged  when  they  reached  you." 

Likewise,  the  old-fashioned  complimentary  close. 
Hoping  to  hear  from  you  soon,  we  beg  to  remain,"  or 
Trusting  that  this  arrangement  will  be  satisfactory  to 
you,  we  are,"  is  hopelessly  stilted  and  impersonal. 
Many  letters — one  might  almost  say  the  majority — do 


n 


tt 


THE  TONE  OF  THE  LETTER 

not  need  a  complimentary  close.  Finish  what  you  have 
to  say,  and  then  sign  your  name:  ** Sincerely  yours,"  or 
** Cordially  yours,  W.  J.  Adams."  If  you  think  some- 
thing more  is  needed,  make  your  statement  carry  a  mes- 
sage of  personal  interest.  *'We  shall  await  your  reply 
with  interest,"  or  **We  are  confident  that  you  will  have 
no  further  trouble  \^dth  this  order,"  are  very  different  in 
tone  from  the  stock  expressions  cited  above. 

Throughout  the  letter  avoid  conventional  phrase- 
ology. Don't  always  ** advise"  a  man;  why  not  occa- 
sionally "inform"  or  "tell"  him?  Not  every  letter  is 
an  "esteemed"  or  "valued  favor;"  nor  is  every  order 
"kind."  Instead  of  saying  that  a  letter  "is  at  hand" 
or  "has  come  to  hand,"  say  that  you  have  "received" 
it  "July"  or  "August"  is  more  natural  and  definite 
than  "ult."  or  "inst."  Don't  give  the  impression  that 
you  are  not  in  the  habit  of  reading  the  letters  that  you 
receive,  by  telling  a  man  that  in  the  case  of  his  letter 
the  "contents  were  carefully  noted."  Remember  that 
"begging"  is  not  an  honorable  attitude  among  dignified 
business  men.  And  finally,  don't  be  ashamed  of  the  per- 
sonal pronoun  "I."  The  foolish  impression  has  grown 
up  that  it  is  immodest  to  use  this  perfectly  good  word  in 
business  correspondence.  To  be  sure,  it  should  not  be 
overworked,  but  if  your  sentence  requires  it,  use  it. 

In  the  next  letter  you  write,  get  a  new  way  of  ex- 
pressing the  old  ideas.  Make  it  original  and  distinctive. 
Make  it  a  personal  message.  Do  this  a  few  times,  and 
watch  the  results.  It  will  not  be  long  before  you  are 
wondering  why  you  didn't  rub  the  machine-finish  off 
your  correspondence  long  ago  and  talk  business  through 
the  mail.  There's  a  place  for  real  letters  in  every  busi- 
nessy  and  yours  is  one  of  them. 


11 


Close  the 

letter 

ncUuraUy 


Avoid  worn' 
out  phrase- 
ology 


Try  this — 
and  watch 
the  resvUs 


THE  MAKE-UP  OF  THE  LETTER 


13 


u 


'  1 


CHAPTER  II 


Danger  of 
ignoring 
accepted 
standards  in 
the  dress  of 
letters 


THE  MAKE-UP  OF  A  BUSINESS 

LETTER 


npHE  first  estimate  a  business  man  makes  of  an  un- 
1  known  correspondent  is  based  on  the  appearance 
of  his  letter.  A  business  man  who  is  familiar  with  the 
ordinary  conventional  forms  of  a  letter,  is  quick  to  notice 
any  departure  from  the  accepted  standards.  His  first 
impulse  upon  receiving  a  communication  of  unusual 
shape  or  arrangement  is  to  criticise.  It  breaks  away 
from  the  routine ;  it  obtrudes  itself  upon  his  attention ; 
it  attracts  his  notice  in  the  same  way  as  a  pecidiar  suit  of 
clothes  or  a  house  of  odd  design,  a  unique  table  service, 
or  any  other  object  of  everyday  familiarity  and  use  that 
departs  from  the  forms  to  which  he  has  been  accus- 
tomed. 

It  is  undoubtedly  true  that  on  rare  occasions  the 
effects  of  such  changes  are  pleasing.  But  it  is  also  true 
that  the  generally  observed  forms,  especially  of  business 
letters,  have  been  accepted  for  certain  well  defined  rea- 
sons after  practical  experimenting.  He  who  adopts  new 
standards  sliould  do  so  cautiously  and  for  cause ;  other- 
wise he  may  expect  the  same  criticism  that  falls  to  him 
who  adopts  the  unusual  in  dress  or  manner. 

For  practical  purposes  the  size  of  a  sheet  of  business 
stationery  should  be  approximately  8  by  11  inches;  even 


Accepted 
standards 
have  been 
tested  by 
experience 


though  it  vary  a  little  in  either  dimension,  it  should 
observe  about  these  proportions.  This  size  has  been 
established  by  no  single  authority  or  group  of  author- 
ities, and  a  correspondent  may  vary  it  if  he  wishes.  A 
man  once  wrote  a  message  on  an  oyster  shell,  stamped  it, 
and  the  postal  authorities,  in  the  course  of  time,  delivered 
it  to  the  addressee.  But  the  standard  envelope  is  3% 
by  61/2  inches  in  size,  and  a  sheet  about  8  by  11  inches 
folds  into  it  very  conveniently.  This  standard  envelope 
is  handled  more  quickly  and  safely  by  the  post  office  than 
smaller  ones  that  may  get  lost  in  the  shuffle ;  the  miscar- 
riage  of  small,  odd  shaped  envelopes  used  for  sending 
out  personal  cards  and  announcements  has  caused  more 
than  one  social  faux  pas. 

Furthermore,  a  sheet  of  these  proportions  is  con- 
venient to  handle  and  to  file.  And  as  business  houses 
generally  observe  the  safe  and  sane  usage,  envelopes  and 
sheets  of  standard  size  and  form  are  preferred  to  the 
oyster  shell  school  of  originality.  For  legal  documents, 
manuscripts,  and  other  larger  sheets,  larger  envelopes, 
also  of  standard  size,  are  provided. 

Every  business  letter  should  be  written  on  business 
stationery— with  a  business  letterhead ;  and  should  be 
sent  out  in  an  envelope  with  the  name  and  address  of  the 
sender  printed,  lithographed,  engraved,  or  otherwise 
clearly  noted  in  the  upper  left  corner.  Then,  in  case 
of  non-delivery,  the  official  pointing-hand  stamp  of  the 
post  office,  with  the  instructions  *' return  to  sender," 
may  be  affixed,  without  causing  undue  annoyance  as  is 
sometimes  occasioned  by  placing  the  return  address  on 
the  back  of  the  envelope  or  in  some  other  unusual 
place. 

A  copy  should  be  kept  of  every  communication  that 
leaves  the  office.  Either  a  carbon  copy  may  be  made  at 
the  time  the  letter  is  written  (six  good  copies  may  be 
made  simultaneously  on  the  average  typewriter  machine, 
although  only  one  is  usually  required),  or  a  letter-press 


Standard 
sizes  in 
stationery 
are  best 


Variations 
to  suit 
special  uses 


Value  of 
engraved  or 
printed 
stationery 


J 


III 


} 


s 


n 


I 


1 


I) 
If 


14 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 


Letterhead  too 
near  top  of  theet 

Dateline 
extending 
beyond  margin 


SaliUation 
too  high  and 
ehotdd  not  be 
indented 


Margin  at  left 
too  narrow; 
ragped  at  the 
right 


Paragraph*  not 
indented 
uniformly  or 
separated  by 
uniform  epacee 


Crowding  at 
bottom  of  page 


r 


UTTER  HEAD 


MBY  OF  UTTER 


I      COMPimENTARY  ClOSE       | 


I  SICMTttRE 


TITU 


COMMON  ERRORS  IN  ARRANGEMENT 

it,  tJf\Trt^^rl\^  '*^^'  *  ^'**''  ^  *  Photograph  of  the  bntnness  behind 
wMctXXSLL  rr^^Zr.^^^*"  would  su«,est  a  company  in 
cooperation    and  inXi.  ?     a  proportion,   improperly  related,  hidring  in 


THE  MAKE-UP  OF  THE  LETTER 


I 


UTTER  HEAD 


NAME  AND  ADDRESS 


lESsI 


DATE 


I] 


SAUITATIOH        I 


BODY  OF  UTTER 


_] 


I      COMPUMEMTARY  ClOSE      ] 


SIGNATURE 


TITU 


15 


Margin*  at  top 
and  sides 
uniform 


indentation  and 

paragraphing 

uniform 


All  parts  of  the 
letter  in  balance 


Not  crowded  at 
bottom 


A  WELL-BALANCED  ARRANGEMENT 

In  strikjng  contrast  to  the  arrangement  on  the  opposite  paee  this  letter 
snggeat,  to  the  mind  of  the  reader  a  weil-balanced,  smooSy  nJ^  Sl!'^. 

Tle^r  ,h^^M?    ?.!^  arrangement  encourages  buying.    Like  a  good  sal«man, 
»  letter  should  be  at  its  best  to  represent  the  business  effectively. 


16 


t 


J 


it 


Keeping 
copies  of 
correspond' 
ence 


!,'• 

Uniform 

position  for 

i 

dates  and 

f 

addresses 

Pleasing 
appearance 
of  well- 
balanced 
margins 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

copy  should  be  made  from  the  sheet  after  it  is  signed. 
Both  forms  have  been  accepted  by  the  courts  as  legal 
copies  of  correspondence.  In  the  average  office,  constant 
reference  is  made  to  former  correspondence ;  no  business 
house  can  afford  to  ignore  such  a  record.  Carbon  copies 
are  usually  filed  alphabetically  by  the  name  of  either  the 
company  or  individual  to  whom  the  letter  is  addressed ; 
letter-press  copies  must  necessarily  be  filed  chronolog- 
ically even  when  separate  books  for  each  letter  of  the 
alphabet  are  maintained. 

In  either  case  the  search  through  the  files  for  a  letter 
copy  is  facilitated  by  plsfcing  "the  name,  address,  and 
date  of  a  letter  at  the  top  and  in  a  uniform  location. 
The  date  of  a  letter  sliould  be  placed  in  the  upper  right 
comer  of  the  page ;  the  recipient  must  know  when  the 
communication  is  sent;  it  may  have  a  bearing  on  other 
communications.  The  name  and  address  of  the  ad- 
dressee, corresponding  to  the  address  on  the  envelope, 
should  in  all  cases  be  placed,  as  the  formal  salutation,  in 
the  upper  left  corner  of  the  sheet.  Not  only  does  this 
establish  at  once  the  exact  individual  for  whom  the  com- 
munication is  intended,  but  it  facilitates  the  filing  of  the 
correspondence. 

The  margins  of  a  business  letter,  owing  to  the  limita- 
tions of  the  typewriter,  are  usually  of  variable  width. 
The  space  occupied  by  the  letterhead  must,  of  course, 
determine  the  margin  at  the  top  of  the  sheet.  Theoret- 
ically, the  margins  at  the  left  and  right  should  be  of 
exactly  the  same  size;  practically,  however,  the  type- 
written lines  will  vary  in  length  and  cause  an  uneven 
edge  on  the  right  side.  In  printing,  the  use  of  slugs  of 
different  sizes  not  only  between  the  words  but  between 
the  letters  themselves,  rectifies  these  variations,  but  the 
typewriter  is  not  so  equipped.  The  more  even  the  right 
margin  is  and  the  more  uniform  it  is  with  the  left  mar- 
gin, the  better  the  effect.  The  margin  should  be  about 
one  or  one  and  a  half  inches  in  width.     The  margin  at 


THE  MAKE-UP  OF  THE  LETTER 

the  bottom  should  not  be  smaUer  and  should  be  prefer 
ably  greater  than  the  side  margins.  Should  it  be 
smaUer,  the  pa^e  wiU  at  once  appear  cramped  for  space 
as  the  reading  matter  will  be  really  running  over  int<i 
the  margin— a  typographical  blunder  that  is  as  notice 
able  on  typewritten  as  on  printed  pages  (pp  14  15) 

The  spacing  between  the  lines  and  between  the  para- 

graphs  of  a  business  letter  may  vary  somewhat  to  suit 

the  tastes  of  the  individual,  although  considerations  of  a 

practical  nature  tend  to  establish  a  few  general  prin- 

ciples.    Both  for  convenience  and  economy,  for  instance. 

a  letter  should  be  as  compact  as  possible,  both  in  words 

and  m  mechanical  production;  it  should  not  take  up  two 

sheets  If  one  will  serve.     Hence  most  business  letters  are 

single  spaced :  only  a  single  space  on  the  typewriter  sepa- 

i^  es  one  line  from  another.    Even  when  a  letter  is  short, 

It  is  advisable,  for  purposes  of  uniformity,  to  use  single 

spaces  only.  ^ 

The  first  line  of  each  paragraph  is  usually  indented 
from  five  to  fifteen  points  on  the  machineJeach  bust 
ness  house  should  establish  exactly  what  this  indentation 
eici^  ^^,^/^f  ^,!or^re  uniformity  in  its  correspond- 
en  e.  instead  of  indenting  the  line,  some  concerns  Lig- 
nate  the  paragraphs  by  merely  separating  them  by 
several  spacings,  and  beginning  the  first  line  squarely 
to:mbo'.'trr  ^^^^-t  practice,  howeveTs'S 
lle™,?t  t''"^  "^*^^--  *^^  ^--^e  biisiness 
wIlT  ^  ""  ""^  paragraphs  separated  by  a  spacing 

^7x1^  "^1'^'  '^  *^"  paragraph  is  usually  in- 
S  ?•     Vf^f  ^  ^^^^  ^^*^^'  ^^^^  a«  ''hanging  in- 

aSrl  If/"'  "^^  ^'  ^'^  ^'^'^^"^  ^^'-e 
in^  !  .  ^  '^*  '^^'•^^'  ^^  *^^  remaining  lines  are 
indented  from  &ye  to  fifteen  points. 

The  use  of  uniform  typewriter  ribbons  on  all  the 
m^lunes  operated  by  one  concern  is  rapidly  and  prop 
erly  coming  into  favor.    It  is  good  business  to  x^keil 


17 

Running 
over  into  the 
margin 


Single 
spacing  vs, 
double 
spacing 


Beginning  a 
paragraph — 
indented  or 
flush 


18 

Uniformity 
in  typewriter 
ribhtms 


Approved 
forms  Jot  the 
envelope 
address 


Neatness — 
a  final 
caution 


HOW  TO  WKITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

the  letters  issuing  from  one  house  similar  in  appearance. 
They  should  be  uniform  typographically— in  spacings, 
margins,  forms  of  salutation,  addressing.  And  no  one 
item  is  more  important  in  securing  this  uniformity  than 
similarity  in  the  color  of  the  typewriter  ribbon.  In  rec- 
ognition  of  this  fact,  most  concerns  now  furnish  their 
typists  with  ribbons  that  are  bought  in  lots  and  kept  in 
stock.  Purple  ribbons  are  perhaps  the  most  popular, 
not  only  because  the  color  is  bold  but  also  because  the 
chemical  ingredients  used  blend  well  and  give  a  smooth, 
durable  impression  on  the  paper. 

The  address  on  the  envelope,  to  which  the  salutation 
at  the  top  of  the  letter  should  correspond  either  exactly 
or  in  slightly  condensed  form,  may  be  properly  type- 
written in  various  ways.  The  style  which  is  most  ob- 
served, however,  and  which  therefore  has  the  stamp  of 
approval,  provides  for  an  indentation  of  about  five 
points  on  each  line  of  the  address.  StiU  another  ap- 
proved  though  less  popular  form  does  not  indent  the 
lines  at  alL  The  spacings  between  the  lines  are  usually 
angle  or  double ;  greater  spacing  tends  to  separate  the 
address  too  much  to  aUow  it  to  be  read  quickly. 

Any  radical  departure  from  those  forms  should  be 
made  cautiously,  especially  if  the  various  items  of  the 
address  are  separated  from  each  other.  The  address,  like 
a  paragraph,  is  generally  read  as  a  unit— as  a  single  dis- 
tinct idea.  The  closer  the  address  conforms  to  the  gen- 
eraUy  accepted  forms,  the  more  readily  are  the  envelopes 
handled  by  the  post  office  and  with  less  danger  of  delay 

or  loss.  . 

Even  if  all  the  foregoing  details  in  the  mechanical 
production  of  a  business  letter  have  been  carefully  ob- 
served, its  effect  may  be  destroyed  by  carelessness.  A 
conspicuous  erasure  on  the  sheet,  a  blot,  or  a  finger  mark 
nullifies  the  impression  that  is  created  by  an  otherwise 
perfect  page.  Care  should  be  taken  to  guard  against 
creating  any  wrong  impression. 


CHAPTER  III 


INQUIRY,  CONTRACT,  AND 
ROUTINE  LETTERS 


TN  EVERY  business  there  are  certain  letters  which 
A  are  largely  a  matter  of  good  English.    Because  of 
the  simple  nature  of  the  transaction  ordinarily  involved 
clearness  and  brevity  are  the  chief  essentials  and  ar^ 
more  easily  attained  than  in  tiie  more  complex  forms 
of  business  correspondence.    Among  these  simpler  forms 
are  letters  of  introduction,  application,  reference,  recom- 
mendation,  and  also  telegrams  and  cablegrams.    In  spite 
of  their  brevity,  however,  thousands  of  doUars  or  even 
the  success  of  the  venture  sometimes  hangs  on  the  phras- 
ing  of  such  letters.    Hence,  exact,  clean-cut  expression  is 
required  m  these  forms  of  correspondence. 

The  letter  of  introduction,  as  its  name  indicates  is 
^itten  to  introduce  one  of  your  acquaintances  to  an- 
other.  It  tells  why  the  introduction  is  sought,  estab- 
lishes a  bond  of  confidence,  and  requests  that  the  bearer 
t)e  given  the  assistance  he  desires.  The  way  in  which 
the  matter  is  put  is  highly  important  in  such  an  inter- 
change of  courtesies. 

The  following  letter  of  introduction  was  written  by 
the  president  of  a  widely  advertised  company  to  one  of 
his  business  friends: 


Simple 
forms  of 
letters — 
clearness 
and  brevitv 
essential 


The  letter  of 
introduction 


20 

A  specimen 
letter 


The  lettered 
ajyplication 


How  to  begin 
iheletter 


Definite 
statement  of 
qualifica- 
tions  for  the 
position 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

This  will  introduce  to  you  Mr.  Frank  Adams,  who  wishes  to 
talk  with  you  about  your  profit-sharing  plan. 

Mr.  Adams  is  the  secretary  of  our  company  and  is  planning  to 
introduce  some  system  for  bringing  our  employees  into  closer  rela- 
tion with  the  firm. 

Any  information  that  you  can  give  will  be  greatly  appre- 
ciated by  him,  and  your  courtesies  to  him  will  be  regarded  as  a 
personal  favor  to  me. 

The  letter  of  application  might  be  classed  as  a  sales 
letter,  for  its  object  is  to  sell  the  applicant's  services. 
As  such,  it  requires,  in  its  highest  form,  the  same  skill  in 
presentation  that  is  necessary  in  the  more  elaborate  letter 
aiming  to  sell  merchandise.  The  essential  thing  to  re- 
member in  writing  a  letter  of  application  is  this :  Con- 
sider what  the  business  man  wants,  and  show  your  abil- 
ity to  supply  it.  Try  to  put  yourself  in  your  prospective 
employer's  position  and  imagine  the  questions  he  would 
put  to  you  in  a  face-to-face  interview ;  then  answer  those 
questions. 

The  business  man  wants  to  know  at  the  start  what 
connection  your  letter  has  with  him.  Therefore,  in  the 
opening  paragraph  of  your  letter,  apply  for  the  position 
that  is  vacant.  The  employer  cannot  have  the  proper 
viewpoint  in  reading  a  letter  which  gives  a  long  account 
of  your  business  career  and  only  at  the  close  makes  the 
application. 

This  introductory  paragraph  is  followed  by  a  state- 
ment of  your  qualifications  for  the  position.  If  you  are 
answering  an  advertisement  which  contained  instruc- 
tions covering  the  reply,  follow  these  closely.  Cover 
fully,  but  not  in  too  great  detail,  the  points  suggested 
as  qualifications  in  the  advertisement.  If  you  are  not 
answering  an  advertisement  but  know  only  that  a  va- 
cancy exists,  describe  your  qualifications  for  the  position 
as  you  understand  it.  This  statement  may  be  in  two 
parts :  your  business  experience  and  your  schooling.  In 
the  majority  of  cases  it  is  advisable  to  tell  your  business 
experience  first.  Most  employers  prefer  applicants  who 
have  already  been  trained  in  the  work  of  the  position  to 


INQUIRY  AND  CONTRACT  LETTERS 

be  filled,  and  the  earlier  your  letter  catches  the  prospec- 
tive employer's  interest  the  more  favorable  will  be  your 
hearing.  If  your  experience  has  been  in  a  different  line 
of  work,  however,  try  to  lay  your  emphasis  on  those  qual- 
ifications which  the  two  positions  (the  one  you  have  held 
and  the  vacant  one)  have  in  common. 

In  giving  your  business  experience,  do  not  say  sim- 
ply, ' 'I  have  had  five  years'  experience  with  a  real  estate 
firm. ' '  Name  the  firms  for  which  you  have  worked ;  tell 
when  and  how  long  you  were  connected  with  each;' and 
give  the  kind  of  work.  If  you  are  employed  at  the  time 
of  writing,  tell  why  you  wish  to  change  your  position. 
If  you  have  had  no  business  experience,  make  the  most  of 
your  promise  as  raw  material  that  can  be  worked  up 
into  a  salesman,  correspondent,  clerk,  or  executive,  as  the 
case  may  be. 

In  covering  your  education  tell  what  schools  you 
attended;  how  long;  and  whether  you  are  a  graduate  or 
not.  If  you  have  taken  special  work— in  a  college  or 
professional  school,  for  instance— which  would  help  you 
particularly  in  the  position  for  which  you  are  applying, 
tell  about  that  specifically. 

Then  give  references.  In  some  cases  these  may  be 
men  who  can  speak  merely  of  your  character.  It  is  bet- 
ter, however,  to  name  men  who  can  testify  also  as  to 
your  business  experience  and  ability.  In  either  case 
give  their  names  and  addresses  in  full. 

The  letter  also  calls  for  some  detail  of  your  personal 
history;  as  age,  married  or  single,  and  nationaUty.  The 
salary  which  you  would  expect  should  also  be  included  if 
the  advertisement  asks  for  it.  The  letter  often  closes 
with  a  request  for  a  personal  interview. 

The  following  is  an  example  of  the  letter  of  applica- 
tion: 

accoi^\^^?  ^J??^«^  in^-«iL  applicant  for  the  position  of  chief 
accoimtant  which  you  advertised  in  this  morning's  Times 

in  you  J  atSemrfanT  tlud^  '^  *'^  "^^  °'  "^'^  '^^^^^^ 


21 


Business 
experience 
in  detail 


Education 


References 
and  personal 
history 


ir^ 


< 


22 

Example  of 
a  detailed 
letter  of  ^ 
application 


The 

reference 
letter 


The  letter  of 

recornmen-' 

dation 


II 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

Two  years,  just  after  graduation  from  high  school,  as 
accountant  with  Hill,  Acton  &  Co.,  212  S.  State  St.,  Chicago. 

Three  years  as  chief  accountant  with  J.  A.  Brown  &  Son, 
125  W.  Monroe  St,  Chicago. 

At  present  I  am  unemployed,  duv  to  a  complete  reorganization 
of  the  firm  of  Brown  &  Son. 

I  am  a  graduate  of  the  four-year  commercial  course  of  the 
Robert  Vail  High  School,  and  also  of  the  Smith  School  of  Com- 
merce, class  of  1914.  In  the  siunmer  of  the  same  ^ear  I  passed 
the  Illinois  C.  P.  A.  examination,  ranking  second  in  a  list  of 
twenty -one.  In  the  School  of  Commerce  my  chief  work  was  in 
business  organization,  factory  management^  and  accounting. 

My  references,  by  permissi:n,  are: 

Mr.  C.  J.  Bowen,  6512  University  Avenue,  who,  I  believe, 
is  a  friend  of  yours,  and  who  can  speak  for  my  character  and 
general  ability. 

Mr.  A.  Fo  Crowell,  Saljs  Manager,  Hill,  Acton  &  Co. 

Mr.  B  T,  Matthc3ws,  formerly  general  manager  of  J.  A. 
Brown  &  Son,  whose  present  address  is  3128  W.  Madison  St. 

I  am  26  years  of  age,  married,  and  of  American  parentage. 

If  you  will  grant  me  the  favor  of  a  personal  interview,  I  can 
call  at  your  office  at  any  time  convenient  to  you. 

This  is  an  example  of  a  detailed  letter  of  application. 
Sometimes  a  briefer  letter  is  used.  But  the  letter  must 
not  be  80  brief  as  to  give  incomplete  information.  It  is 
always  well,  however,  to  pack  all  the  information  you 
can  into  as  few  words  as  possible. 

When  an  employer  writes  to  a  person  who  has  been 
named  in  a  letter  of  application,  the  communication  is  a 
reference  letter.    An  example  is  shown  on  page  23. 

Letters  of  recommendation  are  of  two  kinds :  general 
and  personal.  The  former  are  addressed  **To  Whom  It 
May  Concern,"  end  are  employed  when  the  bearer 
wishes  to  apply  for  a  position,  to  a  number  of  different 
concerns,  using  the  letter  as  often  as  necessary.  The 
personal  letter,  written  to  a  particular  employer  to  whom 
application  for  a  position  has  been  made,  is  more 
effective. 

The  letter  of  recommendation  should  be  specific  and 
moderate  in  its  terms  and  should  show  that  the  writer 
knows  the  applicant  and  his  work  well  enough  to  speaV 
authoritatively  of  them.  No  conviction  is  carried  by  the 
statement:  **Mr.  James  Bailey  is  a  man  of  good  charac- 
ter and  an  excellent  bookkeeper.    I  can  confidently  rec- 


INQUIRY  AND  CONTRACT  LETTERS 


H 


PUNKINGTON  COMPANY 

CHICAGO 


June  6tn,   1915. 


Smith  and  Jones  Co., 

Weston,  N.  J. 
Dear  Sirs: 

Fred  W.  Denny  (photo  attached)  has 
applied  to  us  for  a  position  as  lathe  hand. 

On  his  application  he  stated  that  he 
was  in  your  employ  for  eight  years,  doing 
the  same  class^of  work,  leaving  April  gOfh. 
1915,  because  he  wished  to  come  to  Chicago. 

We  require  all  applicants  to  furnish 
responsible  references  as  to  their  responsi- 
bility, qualifications  for  the  position 
named,  etc.,  and  shall  feel  greatly  obliged 
for  replies  to  the  questions  below,  togeth- 
er with  any  other  information  you  may  eive 
us  concerning  him.  ^       "^  f»    ^ 

Very  respectfully. 

Is  his  statement  correct? 

Is  he.  to  your  knowledge,  of 
good  character  and  habits? 

Is  his  general  conduct  such  as  to  entitle 
him  to  the  confidence  of  his  employers? 

Do  you  consider  him  competent  to 
fill  the  position  he  applied  for? 

REMARKS: 


Dated 


Signed 


Photograph 
odds  character 
to  the  Utter 


Itt  brevity 

encourages  a 
prompt 


Ample  epaee 
l^tfor  anttoere 
tobeJUledin 


MAKING  THE  REFERENCE  LETTER  EFFICIENT 

This  letter  brings  the  actual  information  required.  Pasting  a  photom-aph 
of  tiie  appUcant  on  the  reference  letter  lessens  the  possibiUfrjr  of  getting  an  opinion 
<m  the  wrong  man.  Typing  the  important  questions  beneath  the  signature  and 
leaving  ample  space  for  answers  to  be  written  help  to  obtain  a  qui<A  reply 


This  letter 
ffives  specific 
information 


2i  HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

ommend    him    for    any    position    for    which    he    may 
apply." 

Say,  rather: 

Mr.  James  Bailey  has  been  a  bookkeeper  with  our  firm  for 
the  last  two  years,  and  during  that  time  has  worked  under  my 
personal  supervision.  He  is  conscientious  and  careful,  knows  his 
work  thoroughly,  has  good  habits,  and  is  entirely  trustworthy.  I 
should  like  to  have  him  remain  with  us,  but  he  feels  that  the 
opportunities  for  advancement  are  not  as  good  here  as  they  would 
be  in  a  larger  company.  I  have  no  hesitancy  in  recommending 
him  for  a  position  as  bookkeeper  or  for  general  oflfice  work. 

The  telegram— the  ''day  message'*  in  particular— is 
The  telegram  a  business  letter  in  condensed  form.  Ten  words  may 
be  sent  for  a  fixed  rate,  and  an  additional  charge  ia  made 
for  each  word  above  that  number.  The  telegram  en- 
deavors to  compress  into  ten  words  a  message  that  would 
ordinarily  be  written  in  perhaps  six  or  eight  times  that 
number.  The  message  is  expressed  in  brief  phrases,  in- 
stead of  complete  grammatical  sentences.  All  punctua- 
tion is  omitted — for  each  punctuation  mark  is  counted 
as  a  word.  Yet  in  spite  of  its  brevity,  the  telegram 
must  be  so  worded  that  it  is  easily  understood  and 
unmistakable  in  meaning. 

For  instance,  you  miss  a  train,  and  are  thus  unable 
to  keep  an  appointment.  If  you  were  to  write  a  letter, 
it  would  read  somewhat  in  this  fashion : 

I  missed  my  train  at  Clarendon  Junction  this  morning  and 
so  will  not  be  able  to  see  you  this  afternoon  as  we  had  planned. 
I  will  arrive  in  Chicago  Monday  morning,  and  if  it  ia  convenient 
to  you,  will  call  at  your  office  at  10  o  'clock. 

The  following  is  the  telegram  that  you  might  send: 

Missed  train  Arrive  Monday  morning  Meet  your  office  10 
o'clock. 

Many  persons  attain  clearness  and  brevity  in  a  tele- 
gram by  wording  it  so  that  the  verbs  serve  as  punctua- 
tion, each  marking  the  beginning  of  a  new  thought. 
Notice  how  this  is  done  in  the  telegram  cited  above: 
'  *  Missed — ^Arrive — Meet. ' ' 

The  principles  observed  in  writing  a  telegram  hold 
good  for  cablegrams.    However,  the  greater  cost  of  the 


The 

cablegram 


INQUIRY  AND  CONTRACT  LETTERS 

latter  has  developed  the  code  method  of  transmission. 
Code  words  are  often  used  for  the  name  and  address  as 
well  as  the  message.  There  are  several  kinds  of  service. 
We  come  now  to  a  somewhat  different  class  of  letters. 
Like  the  preceding  ones,  they  are  brief;  but  they  are 
more  intimately  connected  with  the  actual  conduct  of 
the  business.  These  are  the  letters  on  which  the  buying 
and  selling  are  done,  the  letters  which  develop  the  con- 
tracts between  manufacturer,  merchant,  and  customer, 
the  letters  which  involve  the  policies  on  which  the  busi- 
ness rests.  Among  such  letters  are  market  inquiries, 
replies  to  inquiries,  requests  for  credit  information, 
customer  letters  ordering  goods,  purchasing  letters  by 
the  buyer  for  the  company,  and  letters  acknowledging 
orders. 

The  letters  of  inquiry  discussed  in  the  present  section 
are  not  to  be  confused  with  those  which  are  written  in 
answer  to  an  advertisement  and  which  are  handled  by 
the  regular  sales  letter  and  follow-up.  The  letter  re- 
ferred to  here  is  a  special  one  usually  asking  for  informa- 
tion regarding  points  not  suggested  by  an  advertisement, 
and  needs  a  special  letter  in  reply.  These  inquiries  and 
their  answers  are  so  varied  in  nature  that  definite  rules 
to  fit  all  cases  cannot  be  given. 

An  inquiry  should  always  be  clear  and  specific,  giv- 
ing all  the  explanation  that  is  needed  for  making  a  com- 
plete answer. 

The  reply  must  take  up  each  part  of  the  inquiry 
separately  and  answer  it  fully.  It  is  not  sufficient  to 
send  a  catalogue  and  tell  the  inquirer  to  look  through  it 
and  find  what  he  wants.  If  a  catalogue  is  sent,  the 
reply  will  direct  his  attention  to  the  definite  articles 
listed  in  it  which  will  fulfill  the  requirements  stated  in 
the  inquiry. 

The  following  is  an  example  of  a  letter  of  inquiry: 

A  party  consisting  of  two  friends  and  myself  are  going  on 
a  canoeing  and  camping  trip  in  northern  Wisconsin.     As  none 


25 


A  group  of 
letters — 
brief  hvi  in" 
timately  con* 
nected  with 
the  business 


The  letter  of 
inquiry 


The  reply  to 
the  inquiry 


26 

A  definite 
letter  of 
inquiry 


h 


This  letter 
answers  each 
question 
clearly 


M; 


The  letter 
asking  far 
credit 
information 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

t"L$:^"tior*  KTJf  ^»  r  « V*^?.  I  ««  writing 

We  Rhflii  «^^  1  °  *^*  ^^^^  ^0  should  procure 

«utaw:  doZnT'  The^'irie'n.^"^  '^^Jl  compIete^flS^,  and 
consequently  the  o«tfirm^.?  L?-^^  Portages  to  be  made,  and 

Can  you  give  me  the  infonnation  that  I  wantt 

The  following  is  the  reply: 
^-nZl7J:rBt^,\i:^^  ^^:^:^^-  about  outHts  for 

list  I'^X^^^IsZj^^^^  ^-  a  complete 

.ou  ^a^t'TifUt'  B??:?."^'  ""^  ^'  '"^^  J-t  t^e  land  that 
of  this  tjvetiJl  of^^y  othef'nS^^  mexpensiva  We  seU  more 
isfaetion.  ^  ''*^®'^  °''®'  *°^  ^^  ^as  given  general  sat- 

consi^^-  if  Tte^  Watlfr'^P'^,^^  '""^^^  ^^^^^  C^^'  ^^  A), 
else  that>ou  til^^n^d  iS^i'^S'inr.^^  ''*^°'"''  ^^  everything 
Aid  bag.  ^In  I^ecW%M«  w£*  ^T^^*  and  complete  First 
five  yeafs'  e^S^ln  ^L^Jft  of'w^r  ^l  ^^'^  ^^  <>«' 
several  experiLced  cai^ers!^  ""'^  '^^^  ^^  *^«  advice  of 

cnstolts!''Vi^-u|hWe^^  w«^^'  ^/^  ^"  *  favorite  with  our 
boote,  No.  6,onvrJeZ^^  and  waterproof.  The  huntSg 
light/  durab/e^LiS*  <inltotSwe  ^"'^  ^"'  *°^  *'^  guarantee! 

Perso^f  i^'oi;tl?5  andTiiirSf^^  f'^^  ^^apted  for  three 
Kt  for'  many  others '  ^"  ^  «^^°^  ^^*  ^^^^^  ^^^  this  trip 

cther^'matS  ttt^^^co^IV^^^^^  ^°"^^«-  <^-  any 
goods,  let  us  know^  ^^d  th^y  ^  ^Z/T  .^'^  "^^^^  ^^^  *^« 
ihe  order  is  received.  ^  ^  ^""^  **"*  ^^'^  *^e  ^7  that 

.r^'^^7  ^T  '^  ^"^^^^  ''  *^«  ^^tter  asking  for 
credit  information.  SmaUer  retail  stores  use  credSJ 
letters  less  frequently  than  large  department  sto^ 

whoksale  houses,  and  manufacturing  concerns.  IiSe^ 
credit  arrangements  are  usually  worked  out  in  a  per 

^Trt^.r^^'^^f*^"^-  In  the  larger  stores,  however,  the 
credit  man-  must  often  determine  by  letter  to  ^hom 
he  win  extend  credit,  how  large  a  line  of  credit,  imd  wC 
tBma  of  sale  shaU  be  given.  To  decide  this  he  mustZt 
find  out  the  amount  of  the  customer's  capital,  the  voluS 

mu^;    r-'"%^°'  '/^  ^*^^^^  ^  ^-^ome  com! 
munity.    This  information  is  obtained  from  commercial 


INQUIRY  AND  CONTRACT  LETTERS 

agencies,  such  as  Bradstreet's  or  Dun's,  banks,  other 
customers  of  the  house,  other  business  men,  traveling 
salesmen,  and  the  prospective  customer  himself.  In  his 
dealings  with  the  customer  the  credit  man  will  find  it 
necessary  to  use  this  information  in  a  variety  of  ways; 
such  as,  refusing  credit,  granting  credit,  extending 
larger  credit,  decreasing  it,  holding  up  credit  pending 
an  investigation,  insisting  on  regularity  in  observing  the 
conditions  on  which  credit  was  granted,  and  offering 
credit  as  an  inducement  to  larger  purchases.  Since  so 
much  depends  on  this  information,  the  credit  man  must 
be  sure  that  he  gets  it  accurately ;  and  hence  the  letter  by 
which  he  secures  it  is  of  great  importance. 

This  letter  illustrates  the  usual  method  of  request- 
ing credit  information : 
Dear  Sir: 

Mr.  Ford  MacKenzie,  a  grocer  who  has  recently  moved  to 
Boston,  and  who  seeks  to  open  a  credit  account  with  this  com- 
pany, has  referred  us  to  you. 

WiU  you  give  us,  in  confidence,  your  opinion  of  his  financial 
standing,  habits  of  payment,  and  general  credit  worthiness! 
How  long  did  you  seU  to  himf  What  terms  did  you  extendi 
What  was  his  highest  recent  credit!  How  much  does  he  owe! 
What  is  past  duel 

We  shall  heartily  appreciate  any  information  you  may  see 
fit  to  give  us.  For  your  convenience  we  enclose  a  stamped 
envelope.  We  will  gladly  extend  you  similar  courtesies  when- 
ever we  can  do  so. 

Tours  very  truly, 
Instead  of  grouping  the  questions  in  the  body  of 
the  letter  itself,  as  in  the  second  paragraph,  some  cor- 
respondents  list  them  below  the  signature,  in  order  to 
permit  the  answers  to  be  filled  in  quickly  without  necessi- 
tating  a  formal  letter  in  reply. 

The  customer  letter  ordering  goods  usually  contains 
three  chief  elements :  a  list  of  the  goods  ordered ;  direc- 
tions for  shipping;  and  notification  of  the  method  of 
payment.  In  addition,  if  you  are  ordering  from  a  cata- 
logue, the  number  or  date  of  the  latter  should  be  given, 
as  the  price  or  style  may  vary  in  different  catalogues! 
Also,  in  large  concerns,  where  a  number  is  given  to  each 


27 


Wide  range 
of  use  for 
this  infoT' 
motion 


A  courteoue 
letter  toith 
epecifiG 
questions 


The  customer 
letter  order-^ 
ing  goods 


28 


'I 


Accurate 
description 
of  goods 
ordered 


Instructions 
for  shipping; 
and  method 
of  payment 


Purchasing 
letters 


The  letter 
asking  for 
guotaiioTis 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

purchase  order  for  convenient  reference  in  future  cor. 
respondence  concerning  it,  that  also  is  included. 

Each  article  or  item  in  the  list  of  goods  should  be 
described  accurately  as  to  quantity,  color,  size,  style, 
pnce,  or  any  other  point  necessary  for  correct  filling  of 
the  order.  Each  item  should  be  given  in  a  separate  line 
or  paragraph,  as  this  arrangement  faciHtates  the  reading 
and  checking  of  the  list.  If  the  list  is  long,  it  is  better 
to  put  it  on  a  separate  sheet  to  be  enclosed  with  the 
letter. 

The  letter  should  state  how  shipment  is  to  be  made— 
by  parcel  post,  express,  or  freight.  In  the  last  two 
methods,  the  express  company  or  railway  by  which  the 
goods  are  to  be  forwarded,  is  usually  named.  The  des- 
tination should  be  indicated  clearly  when  it  is  not  the 
same  as  the  address  of  the  writer. 

The  date  when  the  shipment  is  to  be  made  is  also  to 
be  noted.  Under  ordinary  circumstances  the  words 
''Ship  at  once"  or  ''Send  at  once''  are  sufficient;  but 
sometimes  the  letter  requests  a  rush  shipment  or  asks 
that  the  goods  not  be  sent  until  a  certain  time. 

Finally,  the  method  of  payment  is  given,  unless  the 
writer  is  an  old  customer  and  the  method  is  understood. 
If  the  money  is  enclosed,  attention  should  be  called  to  it, 
together  with  the  manner  of  sending,  as  by  check  or 
money  order. 

Purchasing  letters— those  used  in  buying  supplies  or 
in  ordering  factory  materials  or  goods  for  stock— fall 
into  four  general  classes:  letters  asking  for  quotations; 
order  letters;  adjustment  letters;  and  special  letters. 

The  letter  asking  for  quotations  naturally  comes  first. 
It  states  exactly  what  the  specifications  are,  or  encloses 
a  sample,  and  asks  for  the  best  price  that  can  be  made. 
The  following  is  an  example : 

♦«  x^^  ??^*  *°  ^,®  "*  *^^  market  soon  for  150,000  statements 
to  be  printed  exactly  as  the  enclosed  sample. 

In  view  of  the  special  facilities  which  you  have  for  pro- 
ducing this  type  of  work,  we  believe  that  you  can  make  us  a  sat 


INQUIRY  AND  CONTRACT  LETTERS 

isfactory  price  on  this  job,  and  therefore  ask  that  you  submit 
a  quotation  at  your  earliest  convenience. 

The  order  letter  may  follow  in  due  course.  In  larger 
concerns  a  form  is  usually  provided  for  this  purpose, 
with  the  necessary  headings  and  columns  printed  on  it. 
This  leaves  only  the  itemized  order  and  any  special  direc- 
tions to  be  written  in  the  body  of  the  letter.  In  cases 
where  such  forms  are  not  used,  a  special  order  letter  is 
employed.  It  will  be  more  technical  than  the  general 
order  letter,  for  it  is  usually  written  by  one  firm  to  an- 
other one  in  the  same,  or  an  allied,  business,  and  will 
therefore  freely  use  the  trade  terms  and  abbreviations. 
For  example: 

Please  furnish  us,  subject  to  the  following  prices,  specifica- 
tions, and  conditions,  your  best  quality,  open-hearth-steel  boiler 
rivete,  all  button  head: 

600  lbs.  %"  X  2W 

400  lbs,  %"  X  2%" 

This  material  is  to  be  invoiced  at  2.5c  per  lb.  net,  f.  o.  h. 
your  mill,  freight  allowed  to  Chicago;  terms  30-2-10  as  in  your 
quotation  No.  8643,  of  August  28.  We  note  that  shipment  will 
be  made  in  two  days  from  receipt  of  the  order.  We  are,  there- 
fore, counting  on  you  to  ship  these  rivets  not  later  than  Thurs- 
day of  this  week. 

The  adjustment  letter  gives  notice  of  some  mistake 
in  filling  the  order;  such  as,  substituting  an  inferior 
quality  of  goods,  or  an  error  in  quantity,  price,  carriage 
charge,  and  similar  matters.  It  suggests  some  method 
of  adjustment  which  the  dealer  may  accept  or  decline  or 
change  as  he  thinks  best. 

Finally,  the  special  letter  takes  up  some  phase  of  the 
transaction  that  differs  from  the  usual  line  of  procedure. 
For  instance,  it  may  request  a  special  price  or  a  special 
time  for  shipping.  An  example  of  the  first  class  fol- 
lows: 

We  are  just  in  receipt  of  your  letter  of  August  25,  quoting 
a  price  of  $4.50  a  dozen  on  your  garment  No.  4562. 

We  like  the  style  and  material  of  this  article  very  much, 
but  on  account  of  the  competition  in  this  city,  we  are  compelled 
to  sell  this  garment  at  50c  each.  With  your  experience  in  handling 
this  type  of  merchandise,  you  must  realize  that  it  is  impossible 
to  operate  with  this  small  margin  of  profit. 


29 


The  order 
letter 


The  adjust" 
ment  letter 


The  special 
letter 


30 


An  example 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 


The  letter  of 
acknowledg- 
rnent 


How  it 
begins 


What  has 
been  clone 
with  the 
order 


If,  however,  you  could  arraiiffe  to  mak«  us  a  Drica  nf  Ainc  • 
dozen,  we  could  no  doubt  use  a  l?rge  quanti^  I?  vS^  cln  tf  „! 
handle  your  merchandise  on  this  ^as^  "^  lef'u^ 'Sow  S 

AU  these  purchasing  letters,  which  constitute  con- 
tracts,  are  communications  from  the  buyer  to  the  seller. 
They  may,  therefore,  be  made  more  formal  and  less  per- 
sonal  than  a  letter  in  which  a  firm  is  addressing  a  cus- 
tomer  whom  it  wishes  to  satisfy.  The  essential  charac 
tenstics  are  brevity,  clearness,  and  faimess-for  fairness 
pays  at  both  ends  of  a  transaction. 

Afl  soon  as  an  order  is  received,  a  letter  of  acknowl- 
edgment  should  be  sent.  This  tells  the  customer  that 
his  order  has  not  been  lost,  and  completes  the  contract 

The  letter  begins  with  the  acknowledgment  of  the 

order,  usually  accompanied  by  a  word  of  thanks:  as 

Your  order  of  the  10th  has  just  been  received,  and  I 

Then  foUows  a  statement  of  what  has  been  done 
with  the  order.  If  it  ha^  been  filled  as  received,  this 
statement  will  be  merely  that  the  goods  have  been  for- 
warded,  or  wiU  be  forwarded  on  a  certain  date 

If  the  goods  are  not  sent  as  ordered,  the 'statement 
wiU  do  two  things.  First,  it  wiU  give  the  reason  for  not 
carrying  out  the  order.  This  reason  may  be  that  the  line 
has  been  discontinued;  the  goods  are  temporarily  out  of 
stock;  not  enough  money  was  enclosed;  or  the  order  is 
held  up  until  the  cash  or  further  credit  information  is 
received.  In  case  cash  is  required  before  shipment,  care 
must  be  taken  to  base  your  request  on  strict  business 
considerations. 

Secondly,  the  letter  will  teU  or  suggest  how  the  diffi- 
eulty  IS  to  be  adjusted.  The  customer  may  be  notified 
that  the  money  is  being  returned,  and  a  revised  catalogue 
sent  to  prevent  future  ordering  of  discontinued  lines;  or 
he  may  be  requested  to  send  more  money,  pay  cash,  or 
give  credit  references,  as  the  case  demanda 


INQUIRY  AND  CONTRACT  LETTERS 


31 


The  letter  frequently  closes  With  a  few  words  invit-  The  dose  of 
ing  further  orders.     The  purpose  of  this  part  of  the  the  letter 
letter  is  to  give  a  touch  of  personal  interest  to  the  ac- 
knowledgment.   Sometimes,  however,  this  personal  close 
is  omitted. 


The  following  is  a  letter  written  when  the  goods  are 
sent  as  ordered : 

Thank  you  for  your  order  of  the  15th. 

I  have  seen  that  your  goods  were  properly  packed  and 
shipped.  They  shoiUd  reach  you  now  in  two  days.  Let  me  know 
If  they  do  not  come  promptly  or  if  you  have  any  question  to 
ask  about  them. 

*u.  ^v.^^  confident  that  you  wiU  be  thoroughly  satisfied  with 
this  shipment.  I  am  therefore  looking  forward  to  other  orders 
from  you  in  the  near  future.    How  may  we  serve  you  further! 

The  next  letter  is  one  used  when  the  order  is  held  up 
until  the  cash  has  been  sent  in : 

f  r  -"t  ^^^  ''"^*  received  your  order  of  the  8th  and  thank  you 

However,  we  make  it  a  rule  to  sell  only  for  cash,  and  for 
tlus  reason,  we  request  all  our  customers  to  include  the  money 
with  their  orders.  The  quick  turns  of  capital  which  such  a  policy 
enables  us  to  make  are  one  of  the  reasons  why  it  is  possible  for 
us  to  seU  our  goods  cheaply.  Under  the  circumstances,  I  know 
you  would  not  want  me  to  make  an  exception  in  your  case 

Your  order  amounts  to  $18.55.  Will  you  please  maU  this 
sum  to  me  today?  An  addressed  envelope  is  enclosed  for  your 
convenience.  ^ 

I  am  holding  your  goods  ready  to  ship  the  same  day  your 
remittance  reaches  nt.  '^  i^  t^^-* 


A  letter  used 
when  goods 
are  shipped 
as  ordered 


A  letter  used 
when  the 
order  is  held 
up 


COMPLAINT  LETTERS 


sa 


CHAPTER  IV 


ADJUSTING  COMPLAINTS  BY 

LETTER 


A  satisfied 
customer  is 
the  object  oj 
the  adjust- 
ment letter 


The  torong 
attitude 
toward  com- 
plainis 


¥F  IT  pays  to  spend  large  sums  in  advertising  and 
*  sales  campaigns  to  get  new  customers  on  your  books, 
it  is  worth  while  to  make  a  special  effort  to  keep  them 
there.  No  legitimate  business  transaction  is  really  com- 
pleted  until  the  customer  is  satisfied  with  his  purchase. 
A  satisfied  old  customer  often  represents  more  potential 
business  than  a  bookful  of  untried  prospects.  If  you 
have  given  him  a  square  deal,  he  never  stops  saying  good 
things  about  your  business ;  but  if  you  have  left  him  dis- 
satisfied, he  never  stops  driving  it  away. 

In  spite  of  this  fact,  however,  many  business  men 
will  unhesitatingly  appropriate  large  sums  for  the  sell- 
ing campaign,  and  then  content  themselves  with  the  most 
perfunctory  and  formal  adjustment  of  complaints.  If 
the  customer  is  to  judge  of  their  attitude  from  the  tone 
of  their  adjustment  letters,  their  interest  in  the  transac- 
tion ceased  when  they  got  his  money. 

This  disregard  for  future  business  dealings  with  the 
customer  is  little  short  of  criminal,  and  the  offense  is 
made  all  the  worse  by  the  fact  that  the  remedy  is  com- 
paratively simple.  It  is  not  a  hard  matter  to  show  a 
man  that  you  have  given  him  at  least  all  you  have  agreed 
to  give  him,  if  you  go  about  it  in  a  courteous,  tactful 


way.  Most  people  have  more  than  a  spark  of  reason- 
ableness in  them  and  an  ability  to  recognize  a  fair  propo- 
sition when  they  see  it.  If  they  haven't,  they  haven't 
the  possibilities  of  being  good  customers,  and  no  conces- 
sion, however  generous,  would  ever  satisfy  them.  How 
to  handle  the  complaint  of  the  man  whose  business  is 
worth  while  is  suggested  on  pages  36  and  37. 

Satisfying  the  customer  is  largely  a  matter  of  get- 
ting the  right  attitude.  The  right  attitude,  in  turn,  is 
determined  by  the  nature  of  the  complaint.  The  major- 
ity of  complaints  fall  into  four  general  classes:  (1)  house 
at  fault,  claim  granted;  (2)  house  not  at  fault,  claim 
refused;  (3)  house  not  at  fault,  but  claim  granted  in 
full  or  in  part;  (4)  fault  undetermined,  further  investi- 
gation needed. 

In  the  first  class  the  question  of  attitude  is  not 
difficult.  You  acknowledge  the  mistake  frankly,  ex- 
plain how  it  occurred,  and  minimize  it.  Then  you  rec- 
tify it  Finally,  you  express  your  regrets,  and  tell  the 
customer  that  a  similar  mistake  will  not  occur  again. 
Here  the  emphasis  is  laid  on  regrets  and  greater  care  in 
handling  future  orders. 

It  is  in  the  second  class  that  getting  the  right  attitude 
is  most  difficult.  You  have  to  refuse  the  request,  and 
yet  satisfy  the  customer.  How  vrill  you  do  it?  Here  the 
emphasis  is  on  making  him  see  that  his  request  is  unjust 
and  that  your  method  of  settling  it  is  fair.  If  you  ex- 
pect to  do  this,  don't  start  out  by  telling  him  point  blank 
that  he  is  wrong  and  that  you  can't  grant  his  claim. 

Begin  by  looking  at  the  proposition  from  his  view- 
point. Look  at  it  through  his  eyes.  Tell  him  that  you 
don't  blame  him — ^that  if  you  were  in  the  same  circum- 
stances you  would  probably  feel  the  same  way.  You 
have  thus  established  a  bond  of  sympathy,  created  an  im- 
pression of  fairness.  Then  show  him  tactfully  that  he  is 
wrong.  Explain  why  you  can't  grant  his  claim — ^and 
make  him  see  the  fairness  of  your  position 


The  method 
used  varies 
tvith  the 
classes  of 
complaints 


First  class: 
house  at 
fault,  claim 
granted 


Second  class: 
house  not  at 
faulty  claim 
refused 


34 

The  wrong 
way  to  han- 
dle this  class 
ofcomplaints 


The  right 
way 


The  differ^ 
tnee  in  effect 


f 


% 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

A  book  dealer  sold  a  buainess  book  to  a  clerk  iu  a 
railway  office,  and  the  young  man  on  receiving  it  com- 
plained that  while  the  volume  might  be  aU  right  for  a 
man  in  an  established  business,  it  was  of  no  practical 
value  to  him.  Now  the  dealer  might  have  replied: 
Dear  Sir: 

Don't  think  that  because  the  book  seems  of  no  use  to  you. 
we  are  going:  to  take  it  back  and  refund  your  money.  You  cer- 
tainly understood  the  nature  of  this  book  before  you  ordered  it. 
and  If  you  didn't  want  it,  that  was  the  time  to  say  so  instead  of 
??f^/;^'  T  }^y^  f^""®  *^  ^^  «^®°««  0^  sending  it  to  you  and 
Jie  the^ook  back         •     ^''^''  *''  circumstances,  we%annot 

Understand,  that's  what  he  might  have  said,  because 
that's  just  the  tone  in  which  many  complaints  are  an- 
swered  every  day.    But  he  actuaUy  wrote  thus : 
Dear  Mr.  Gimbel: 

♦K.  I  ^^'®^  ^  understand  perfectly  just  how  you  feel  about 
the  book.  You  feel  that  because  your  position  is  a  detail  one. 
^S^IT  T^  ^  ^'"^^  ^  '^  «^°P«'  t^«  feook  is  tWcom' 

L™  ff  fl  *?  }^^^  ??""  ^^"^  '"""^  J"«*  °o^-  ^d  that  would 
eeem,  at  first  thought,  a  very  just  objection. 

♦i»«  WW  '^^^'*^'  ^ecmse  your  work  is  limited  now,  and  because 
^  h^^  mostT^^  ^^^    ^'  '''''''*  ^^^  *^**  ^''^  '"^  *»»«  ^^^ 

Every  man  wants  to  get  out  of  the  rut,  to  grow,  to  develoo 
fato  something  better.    Yet  who  ia  the  man  Vho  WpromSS  f 

^n.f  /^.^*  ^\T  ""^'^  ''  ^^  to  hii  own  routine  of 
h^\   ?°A'*  '^  *^J  ""'^  ^^°  ^o^«  ^ot  ozdj  his  own  work^ 

^l  ^^h?f  *^^  T'^^^'"''  ^'  ^^^  *^^*  ^  J««*  ^^^  this  book 
wm  enable  yon  to  learn.  For  it  gives  you  the  experiences  of 
the  most  successful  men  in  the  coSntry;  it  desci^T  dJteU 
their  methods  and  the  results. 

Now  in  reply  to  either  of  these  letters  the  young  man 
would  have  kept  the  book;  but  in  the  first  instance  he 
would  have  kept  it  because  he  had  to,  in  the  second  he 
could  keep  it  because  he  wanted  to.  And  that  is  the 
difference  between  the  effect  of  a  poor  answer  to  a  com- 
plaint and  a  good  one. 

In  the  third  class,  the  house  is  not  at  fault,  but  the 
clami  is  granted.  In  this  class  your  care  will  be  not  to 
^ow  your  manner  of  granting  the  request  to  leave  a 
lingermg  feeling  of  resentment.    Don't  grant  the  claim 


V 


COMPLAINT  LETTERS 

grudgingly— do  it  cheerfully.  Don't  tell  the  man 
bluntly  that  his  complaint  is  unjust  but  you  **  suppose 
you  will  have  to  grant  it  anyway.''  Make  him  under- 
stand that  you  realize  the  fault  does  not  lie  with  you, 
but  that  you  value  his  good  will  enough  to  do  more  than 
fairness  and  justice  require.  You  are  willing  to  do 
more  than  you  have  to  do,  in  order  to  save  him  trouble. 
There's  a  big  difference  between  these  two  attitudes. 
The  first  leaves  him  with  the  impression  that  he  is  being 
treated  as  an  object  of  charity.  The  second  leaves  him 
with  a  feeling  of  obligation  to  repay  your  fairness,  a 
feeling  that  will  be  valuable  in  turning  his  future  busi- 
ness  to  you.    It  is  not  a  '* galling"  obligation. 

If  a  customer  writes  that  goods  he  ordered  two  weeks 
before  have  not  arrived,  and  that  he  doubts  whether  you 
ever  sent  them,  don't  reply  by  saying: 

If  the  goods  you  ordered  have  not  reached  you,  it  is  cer- 
tamly  due  to  no  fault  of  ours.  We  sent  them  promptly  and  hold 
the  express  receipt  to  prove  it.  You  should  know  that  goods 
are  often  lost  by  the  express  companies  even  though  the  greatest 
care  is  shown  in  preparing  them  for  shipment.  Under  the 
circumstances,  we  think  you  are  hardly  warranted  in  accusing 
us  of  not  having  sent  them.  When  we  say  a  thing,  you  may 
depend  upon  it.  If  you  doubt  our  responsibiUty  or  standinff.  you 
may  write  to  the  First  National  Bank  of  this  city  or  look  ua  up 
in  Dun's  or  Bradstreet's.  *^ 

However,  inasmuch  as  you  say  you  did  not  get  the  goods. 
we  are  duplicating  the  order,  and  would  ask  you  to  notify  us 
11  the  first  order  shows  up. 

If  you  are  going  to  concede  the  justice  of  his  com- 
plaint  at  aU  or  if  you  are  going  to  grant  him  his  claim 
simply  as  a  favor,  do  it  cheerfully  and  make  the  cus- 
tomer realize  that  you  are  giving  him  more  than  what 
is  justly  coming  to  him.  Write  to  the  man  whose  goods 
have  not  reached  him,  in  this  style : 
Dear  Mr.  Chapman: 
v^  -^^^^x?'®  certainly  justified  in  coinplafaiing  orer  not  havinir 

You  have  been  very  considerate  in  waiting  so  long,  and  we  appJe- 
ciate  fuUy  how  you  feel  about  the  matter  now.  ^ 

fault  li«?®^^f».*'li,''^  *^**  *^®'*®   ^^^   ^®  ^o  question  that  the 
rault  lies  with  the  express  company.     The  express  receipt  we 


35 

Third  class: 
house  not  at 
fauUt  hvt 
claim 
granted 


The  wrong 
way  of 
handling 


The  right 
way 


il  I 


30 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 


A  letter  sent 
hy  a  local  agent 
tothe  dothe$ 
house  he 
represented 


To  his  mind  a 
juet  complaint 


This  is  how  the 

correspondent 
answered 


Virtually 
accuses  dealer 
of  covering  a 
lUuTuler  of  his 
own 

Then  promises 
it  "shall  not 
happen  again" 


Gentlemen : 

r.  «  "^^  ^^^^  which  you  Just  sent  us  for  Mr. 
E.  F.  Diokinson  has  arrived  in  bad  condi- 
tion. The  lower  part  of  one  trouser  leg  is 
badly  scorched.  This  was  undoubtedly  done 
by  the  man  who  pressed  the  suit. 

It  is  impossible  for  us  to  alter  or 
remedy  this  in  any  way;  so  we  are  returning 
the  trousers  to  you  by  today's  express  and 
would  ask  that  you  immediately  replace  them. 

Very  truly  yours. 


A  DEALER  ^S  COMPLAINT 


Dear  Sir: 

We  have  your  letter  of  the  25th  and 
have  carefully  examined  the  trousers. 

After  examination  we  can  confidently 
say  that  it  is  impossible  for  the  trousers 
to  have  been  damaged  in  the  way  you  sug- 
gest. We  employ  electric  irons  for  all  our 
pressing,  and  they  are  scientifically  heated 
80  that  they  never  reach  a  temperature  hot 
enough  to  scorch  the  surface  of  the  most 
delicate  material. 

The  trousers  were  undoubtedly  damaged 
in  the  shop  of  your  local  tailor  where  you 
sent  them  to  be  pressed,  as  it  is  an  easy 
matter  to  scorch  a  fabric  with  the  old 
fashioned  tailor's  goose. 

While  we  feel  that  we  are  in  no  way 
responsible,  we  have  nevertheless  decided 
to  replace  the  trousers  with  a  new  pair. 
These  will  be  shipped  to  you  Thursday.  This 
shall  not  happen  again. 

Yours  very  truly. 


LOSING  TRADE  THROUGH  AN  UNTACTFUL  REPLY 

These  three  letters  are  an  excellent  example  of  how  business  may  be  lost 
through  an  untactful  handling  of  a  complaint  and  how  it  may  be  saved  when 
BkiU  and  care  are  used.  The  first  letter  was  sent  by  a  local  agent  for  "made-to- 
order"  clothes  to  the  house  he  represented.    The  unsatisfactory  reply  accuses  tho 


COMPLAINT  LETTERS 


Dear  Mr.  Bridges: 

It  seems  that  those  very  orders 
on  which  we  are  most  anxious  to 
please  are  the  ones  on  which  the 
annoying  little  accidents  occur. 

ina  Jl^  ?;^®i*5®®'^^y  desirous  of  giv- 
ing Mr.  Dickinson  a  suit  he  will 
feel  proud  of.  He  has  been  a  good 
aiid  valued  customer  of  yours,  and 
tnat  has  meant  a  number  of  suits  - 
ordered  through  you  from  us. 

»  A    ^?  are  totally  at  a  loss  to 
understand  how  this  accident  could 
have  happened.  But  why  try  to  ex- 
Dlain  it?  The  time  we'^would  spend 
investigating,  we  have  spent  in 

tn®?i^fo^^^il"2^  *.^®  P^i^  of  trousers 
to  replace  the  pair  you  returned. 

We  will  get  these  to  you  bv  ex- 
F^ss  Wednesday.  Please  apologize 
to  Mr.  Dickinson  for  us  and  make  the 
apology  as  sincere  as  we  would  were 
we  on  the  ground.  In  closing  we  can 
only  assure  you  that  we  will  be 
doubly  careful  in  the  future. 

Very  truly  yours. 


37 


Suppose  the 
complaint  had 
been  answered 
this  way 


Concedes  the 
Justice  qf  the 
complatni 


Recognizes 
value  of  dealer* § 
and    customer's 
patronage 


AN  ANSWER  THAT  WINS  MORE  BUSINESS 

ha™  1«^  w«      ^"    ^^    ^"''*  '****''  ""*•'  ™Sgests  the  answer  that  should 
^J^   ■  '  """^-W't^'y  "'""Odes  the  justice  of  the  man's  comriZt 

^ZZZrT'^'^  ""^  '"""'^  '  "P""  °'  P""?*  cooperation.    IX^^r 
would  doubtless  have  meant  many  a  dollar  to  the  firm. 


li 


1^ 


w 


t 

t 
J* 

I 


38 

This  Utter 
satufiesthe 

customer 


Fourth  class: 
fault  unde- 
terminedj  to 
he  investi- 
gated 


Putting 
yourself  in 
a  false 
position 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

hold  shows  that  the  goods  were  received  by  them  in  good  condi- 
tion the  very  day  your  order  reached  us.  We  knew  you  were  in 
urgent  need  of  this  stock,  and  we  made  a  special  request  for 
quick  service  in  selecting  and  packing  it 

As  your  experience  has  probably  shown  you,  many  con- 
cerns hold  that  their  responsibility  ceases  the  moment  the  goods 
are  turned  over  to  the  express  company.  However,  we  always 
consider  the  interests  of  our  customer  as  more  important  than 
a  technical  privilege  of  this  kind,  and  we  never  consider  a  trans- 
action closed  until  the  goods  are  received  and  found  to  be 
entirely   satisfactory. 

So  we  are  having  a  duplicate  shipment  packed  and  forwarded 
to  you  today.  We  are  confident  that  these  goods  will  reach 
you  almost  as  soon  as  this  letter,  and  in  perfect  condition. 

The  matter  of  delay  in  the  previous  shipment  we  shall  take 
up  with  the  express  company  at  once  and  shall  have  them  trace 
the  goods.  In  the  meantime,  should  they  chance  to  reach  you, 
we  will  thank  you  to  return  them  to  us,  charges  collect. 

There  you  have  an  answer  that  not  only  satisfies  the 
customer  in  every  point,  but  that  is  bound  to  make  him 
realize  that  you  are  more  than  fair;  and  the  incidental 
talk  about  your  service  gives  the  letter  a  little  sales  value 
that  the  customer  isn't  likely  to  forget 

In  the  fourth  class  your  attitude  will  be  one  of  open- 
minded  fairness:  you  will  do  all  you  can  to  find  where 
the  mistake  lies  and  to  correct  it  Don't  assume  that 
the  mistake  is  necessarily  his— you  may  make  a  mistake. 
For  instance,  if  a  man  orders  twenty  reams  of  paper 
from  you  and  on  receipt  of  it  writes  that  it  is  not  like  the 
sample  he  ordered  from,  don't  say: 

Dear  Sir  * 

Your  eyesight  must  be  going  back  on  you.  The  paper  you 
ordered  is  certainly  identically  the  same  stock  as  the  sample  you 
named.    Take  it  to  the  window  and  look  again. 

If  you  do  that,  you  not  only  insult  his  intelligence, 
but  you  may  be  putting  yourself  in  a  false  position,  for 
there's  just  a  chance  that  a  mistake  was  made  in  the 
gtock  or  shipping  room  and  that  the  customer  is  right. 
Better  write  him  something  like  this: 

Dear  Mr.  Blake:  ,      «  ,,       %.     ..   j  * 

We  are  surprised  to  learn  that  the  Golden  bond  does  not 
■eem  to  match  exactly  the  sample  from  which  you  ordered. 
CJould  you  by  any  chance  have  gotten  this  confused  with  Gordon 
bond,  which  is  right  next  to  it  in  the  sample  book?  These  two 
lines  are  very  similar  in  finish,  and  the  fact  that  there  is  also  a 


i 


COMPLAINT  LETTBBS 

■imilarify  in  the  names  has  given  rise  to  errors  of  fhi«  iri«^ 

woOTMr  this  might  be  the  cause  of  the  discrepancy 
If  It  u  not,  and  you  wiU  send  us  a  sample  of  the  oH«r  *«n 
received,  we  wiU  have  the  trouble  lookedup  here  i^edHteW 
We  are  always  ve^  .careful  to  check  over  ou^oZ  sS^  Jl" 
«iat  It  IS  just  what  is  ordered,  but  we  realize  that  anerro?^i^ 
have  been  made  somewhere  in  the  process  rfDfl^Hn»^„Tlif- ^" 
and  we  wiU  be  more  than  glad  tS  ?o^  ft  ^         *  ""^P"*' 

That  not  only  protects  you,  but  also  shows  the  man 
your  senous  interest  in  putting  matters  right 

Now  for  a  few  "  don 'ts"  concerning  your 'attitude: 
Don  t  be  too  suspicious  of  every  complaint  that 
comes  over  your  desk.    Remember  that  when  the  cus- 
tomer wrote  his  letter,  he  believed  he  had  cause  for  doing 
so,  and  that  the  chances  are  he  did  have.    Bemember 
that  most  people  want  to  be  square  with  you,  that  most 
people  are  honest,  and  that  by  far  the  greater  share  of 
the  w)mplamt8  you  get  have  a  real  cause  at  bottom. 
Ihe  fault  may  not  be  yours,  but  that  is  no  reason  why 
you  should  snap  up  a  man  for  telling  you  about  it     If 
you  are  not  to  blame,  the  proper  thing  to  do  is  to  find 
out  where  the  trouble  lies,  and  help  the  customer  to 
straighten  out  the  difSculty, 

Don't  be  flippant  Answer  the  complaint  seriously. 
Bven  If  you  are  sure  that  the  customer  is  wrong  and  that 
his  complaint  is  whoUy  unwarranted,  treat  it  as  seriously 
as  If  It  were  justified.  Tour  aim  is  to  satisfy  the  cus- 
tomer, and  you  can't  do  that  by  ridiculing  him  or  his 
judgment.  The  example  given  on  page  38  is  a  rather 
extreme  case,  but  it  iUustrates  a  tendency  all  too  common 
among  writers  of  adjustment  letters. 

*!.•  ^°^'*  "?*"'  yourself  to  make  an  angry  reply  to  any- 
tning  that  the  complainant  may  write.  Back  talk  simply 
umtates  the  customer  instead  of  pacifying  him,  and 
leaves  the  grievance  farther  from  settlement  than  it  was 
before.  And  what  is  more,  you  ought  not  to  give  the 
unreasonable  kicker  the  satisfaction  of  knowing  that  he 
naa  stirred  your  temper. 


"D<m't9"  for 

adjustment 

letters 


Don't  he  too 
suspieunui 


Don't  be 
flippant 


Don't  get 
angry 


40 


Answer  the 

complaint 

promptly 


i 


\i 


Three  ele- 
ments xn  an 
answer  to  a 
complairU 


First  ele- 
menl:  how 
the  mistake 
was  made 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

There  remains  to  be  stated  one  other  caution :  answer 
the  complaint  promptly.  An  immediate  reply  goes  a 
long  way  toward  impressing  a  man  with  your  sincere 
desire  to  see  him  satisfied.  If  he  isn't  specific 
enough  in  his  complaint  to  enable  you  to  an- 
swer fully,  write  at  once  for  further  information. 
If  it  is  going  to  take  you  several  days  to  investigate, 
write  him  first  and  tell  him  what  you  are  doing.  Every 
day  that  a  complaint  hangs  over  it  becomes  increasingly 
hard  to  handle,  whereas  quick  attention  will  preclude 
many  possibilities  of  future  unpleasantness. 

Thus  far  we  have  been  considering  the  attitude  of  the 
correspondent  toward  the  complaint.  Now  for  an 
analysis  of  the  elements  of  the  typical  answer  to  a  com- 
plaint. These  elements  are  three  in  number.  The  first 
tells  where  and  how  the  mistake  was  made ;  the  second, 
what  we  will  do  about  it;  the  third,  how  we  feel  about 
it.  In  all  of  these  the  right  attitude,  as  outlined  above, 
must  be  maintained.  The  purpose  of  all  of  them  is  to 
satisfy  the  customer;  not  merely  to  correct  the  present 
mistake  but  also  to  make  him  a  future  customer  and  a 
living  advertisement  of  the  fair  dealing  of  our  firm. 

The  first  element  consists  of  a  history  of  the  transac- 
tion as  revealed  by  our  records  and  investigation.  If 
the  house  is  at  fault,  it  explains  how  the  mista,ke  was 
made — through  oversight  in  filling  the  order,  delayed 
shipment,  goods  out  of  stock,  mistake  in  billing,  and  the 
like.  If  the  house  is  not  at  fault,  it  traces  the  error  to 
its  sources — to  the  railway  or  express  company  or  to  the 
customer's  own  mistake  in  ordering,  etc.  This  is  the 
part  of  the  letter  which  says,  for  example : 

Before  your  order  left  our  warehouse  all  the  goods  were  care- 
fully gone  over  to  make  sure  that  they  were  perfect  in  every 
reipect.  However,  the  item  you  mentioned  must  have  failed  to 
catch  the  attention  of  our  inspector. 

Or  this  may  be  the  explanation : 

Your  goods  left  our  warehouse  on  the  14th,  and  should  have 


COMPLAINT  LETTERS 

reached  you  by  this  time.     Apparently,  however,  they  have  been 
lost  or  delayed  somewhere  on  the  way. 

The  second  element  tells  how  the  error  will  be  recti- 
fied. For  example,  it  promises  to  send  a  duplicate  ship- 
ment, or  to  send  out  a  tracer  for  a  lost  shipment;  it 
offers  to  take  back  or  exchange  the  goods,  or,  for  suffi- 
cient reasons  definitely  stated,  refuses  to  do  that;  or  it 
suggests  that  the  customer  recover  damages  from  the 
carrier  company.    Here  are  two  typical  illustrations: 

We  are  having  duplicates  packed  and  sent  to  you  today. 
Kindly  return  the  damaged  goods  to  us,  at  our  expense,  as  soon 
as  possible. 

Or  in  this  manner : 

We  have  found  it  impossible  for  us  to  exchange  goods.  You 
can  see  how  the  cost  of  rehandling  such  orders  in  the  correspond- 
ence and  bookkeeping  departments,  and,  above  all,  the  cost  of 
packing  and  handling  the  exchanged  goods,  would  completely 
swallow  up  our  profit.  We  should  have  to  raise  the  prices  on  all 
our  goods  in  order  to  meet  this  extra  expense.  We  feel  sure  that 
you  will  be  able  to  put  to  use  the  goods  you  received  on  your  order, 
and  we  know  they  will  give  you  excellent  service. 

The  third  elementr— ''how  we  feel  about  it"— may 
express  our  regret  for  the  inconvenience  the  mistake  has 
caused  the  customer;  may  assure  him  that  we  will  make 
special  efforts  to  prevent  the  occurrence  of  such  mis- 
takes in  the  future ;  or  may  remind  him  that  our  policy 
is  always  to  be  fair,  and  even  more  than  fair,  in  order 
to  satisfy  our  customers.  It  may  do  all  or  any  of 
these  things.    For  example: 

I  am  sorry  that  this  occurrence  has  caused  you  inconvenience 
and  delay.  I  have  given  this  matter  my  personal  attention,  and 
you  may  count  upon  perfect  satisfaction.  You  may  rest  assured 
that  special  care  will  be  taken  with  your  orders  in  the  future  to 
prevent  such  a  mistake  from  occurring  again. 

In  the  following  illustration  the  three  elements  have 
been  assembled  to  form  a  complete  letter: 

I  was  sorry  to  hear  that  the  goods,  when  they  reached  you, 
were  not  in  perfect  shape. 

We  make  it  a  rule  to  go  over  very  carefully  all  goods  that 
leave  our  warehouse,  so  as  to  be  sure  that  they  are  pwfect  in 
every  respect.  However,  the  items  you  mention  must  have  failed 
to  catch  the  attention  of  our  inspector. 

Our  shipping  department  now  has  instructions  to  forward 


41 


Second  ele- 
menl:  how 
the  error  will 
be  rectified 


Third  ele- 
ment: how 
we  feel 
about  the 
mistake 


A  typical 
letter  con- 
taining these 
three 
elements 


42 


Variaiions 
in  their  use 


Conclusion 


HOW  TO  WBITB  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

"Bured  that  we  ZTSw™  ^^/f^    .^  ""'="'  *>"*  y"  ""?  '«* 
any  depaXn?  of  oS  h^s^'"'  *"  "''^J'  "  "^^^ht  made  by 

fnJ^^Tl"***' .!°u**^«  **"«  t^  elenients  in  concise 

IZk  !iir^^/  ''  "^P^^*"!  ^  «»«  ^^^o^d  para- 
graph, and  the  reader  is  led  to  believe  that  such  mistakes 
do  not  occur  often.  The  third  paragraph  tells  what  has 
been  done  to  correct  the  error.  The  writer's  feeling 
concerning  the  mistake  is  expressed  in  the  last  par^ 
graph,  and  is  also  used  in  the  first  paragraph  to  give  the 
keynote  of  regret  for  the  error.  P'^wpvethe 

Of  cOTirse  these  elements  do  not  always  occur  in  this 

r1>T..     I'^'^P^'  ^  *^^  '•**•>•  *o  Mr.  Chapman,  on 
p.  35,  the  chief  treatment  of  the  "How  we  fed"  sJkmsnt 

tekTnT  "         ^^^  paragraph,  before  the  remedy  is 

««.f '*!.f^n^l!!'^''°**  *'''*^  •"  "l^^ly  d«&»ed  as  they 
are  m  the  mustrations  quoted  above.    Thus,  in  the  letter 

w^  ^*'  *°  P-  ^'  *^«  "'"^^  «'  tJie  difficulty  has 
not  b^n  determined,  and  therefore  that  cannot  be  ex- 
plained and  no  definite  remedy  can  be  given.  bS  t^ 
elements  are  aU  there,  in  less  definite  form. 

In  conclusion,  remember  that  in  answering  a  com- 

culty,  but  also  to  satisfy  the  customer  so  that  he  wiU 
remain  a  customer.  If  you  are  to  do  that,  you  mus^ 
make  your  letter  personal  and  sympathetic.    ZtZ 

T.  rj  *"  ?f  r'^'*  ^*"  '"^  "»»»*  *ttit«de  is  to 
stop  and  consider  how  you  would  handle  the  customer  if 
he  came  personaUy  into  your  office.  You  wouldn't  quar- 
rel with  him;  you  would  be  courteous,  and  would  do 
your  best  to  show  how  sincerely  desirous  the  firm  is  of 
giving  hun  a  fair  deal.  "*  «  oi 


'til 


CHAPTER  V 


COLLECTING  BY  MAIL 


IT  IS  one  thing  to  induce  a  man  to  take  something  that 
he  wants;  it  is  quite  another  to  induce  him  to  give 
ip  something  that  he  wants.  Therein  lies  the  vital  differ- 
ence between  the  sales  and  the  collection  letter. 

The  sales  letter  writer  has  the  pleasant  task  of  pre- 
senting an  article  in  such  an  alluring  way  that  the 
reader  is  willing  to  part  with  his  money  to  own  it  The 
writer  of  the  collection  letter,  on  the  other  hand,  must 
persuade  a  man  to  give  up  his  money  for  an  article 
which  he  already  has  in  his  possession,  and  from  which 
he  has  already,  in  part  at  least,  derived  his  profit.  In 
other  words,  this  writer  has  the  proverbially  difficult 
task  of  inducing  a  man  to  *'pay  for  a  dead  horse." 

He  who  would  do  this  must  bring  into  play  a  wide 
knowledge  of  human  nature  and  an  adaptability  that 
will  enable  him  to  use  the  wise  argument  in  the  right 
place.  The  common  division  of  debtors  into  three 
classes — good,  slow,  and  bad  pay — ^is  true  enough  so  far 
as  it  goes,  but  the  problem  is  not  so  simple  as  that.  Be- 
tween the  two  extremes  of  good  and  bad  pay  debtors, 
there  are  a  thousand  gradations,  representing  men  of 
many  different  characteristics  and  in  many  different  cir- 
cumstances.   Bach  presents  an  individual  problem  for 


The  funda- 
mental dif' 
ference 
between  sales 
and  collec- 
tion letters 


Wide 

knowledge  of 
human  ha- 
ture  needed 
by  the  coUeo- 
turn  toriter 


44 


4 


The  misuse 
of  form 
leUers 


Giving  the 
collection 
letter  the 
fight  tone 


Regarding 
the  debt  as  a 
strict 
business 
obligation 


HOW  TO  WBITE  BUSINESS  LETTEES 

solution.    The  successful  coUection  writer  cannot  afford 
to  Ignore  these  individual  problems,  these  manifoldXr 
acteristies,  that  make  up  human  nature. 

Recognizing  this,  collection  managers  are  coming, 
more  and  more  to  see  the  element  of  dangerin  TToJ 
«tr,ct  adherence  to  the  use  of  fonn  letters.  K  hant 
liBg  of  a  great  many  smaU  accounts,  as  in  a  mail  order 

Plan,  they  are,  of  course,  an  economic  necessity  and 
m  a  commercial  business  also  they  will  alwaT^e'^ 
m  ases  where  there  are  no  special  conditions  to  be  ^f 
But  If  any  account  is  not  fuUy  covered  by  the  ree^ir; 

dra^dte^lr"".*'""  "^"^^''^  ^"^  nottiSt 

trie  is  lo^Tt  •   "  ''•^""''  ^"'"^  *o  «"d  whose 
trade  is  worth  retaining,  is  certainly  worth  the  extra 

trouble  required  by  this  procedure. 

Whatever  kind  of  letter  is  used-the  form  or  the 

rigttne^Llf  d  "^n  «-*  --  to  2el  tt 
"ntidir^-f  1  ^5  ^™'  ^"*  «>«Biderate  and 
r^H  ?  ?  ^'^  "^^  **""«  ^t«  the  letter  is  largely 
a  matter  of  getting  the  right  viewpoint,  and  thetiZ 

S.T\  **"  '"^'  ^-"^^  *^'"**>-''«  Elation  aLdt 
obligation  to  you  really  are. 

It  is  a  mistake,  in  the  first  place,  to  look  upon  a  iusf 
debt  as  anything  but  the  strictest  business  obUgatS 
The  customer  has  bought  the  goods  on  certain  ter^  rd 
has  agreed  to  pay  according  to  these  terms.     SfTr^ 
payment  should  not  be  asked  for  on  aay  other  S^^^ 

Tu^    ■  "  P"y™«°t  IS  placed  on  any  other  basis   tho 

an  obligation;  and  any  suggestion  of  this  sort  will  be 
eagerly  grasped  by  him  as  an  excuse  for  evasion 

Especially  bad  is  the  practice  of  asking  for  payment 
on  the  ground  that  the  firm  is  hard  up:        *"^  ^''^'^^''t 


COLLECTION  LETTERS 

We  are  going  to  be  frank  in  telling  you  that  we  need  the 
money.  You  are  only  one  of  a  large  number  of  our  customers  who 
are  back  on  their  accounts,  and  unless  you  remit  at  least  a  part  of 
what  yon  owe  us,  we  may  find  ourselves  in  embarrassing  circum- 

The  moment  you  write  a  man  like  that  you  let  him 
know  that  you  are  in  the  same  elaae  that  he  is,  and  you 
suggest  to  him  a  new  excuse  that  he  may  not  have  used 
on  you  before.  If  you  think  it  advisable  to  talk  at  aU 
along  this  line,  do  it  without  losing  your  dignity. 

But  while  it  is  necessary  that  you  regard  the  debt  aa 
a  strict  business  obligation,  it  is  equaUy  important  that 
you  consider  the  debtor  first  of  all  as  a  customer;  that 
his  friendly  patronage  be  retained  if  it  is  possible  to  do 
so ;  and  that  he  be  granted  any  reasonable  extensions  in 
time  that  he  may  ask.  A  customer's  trade  is  valuable 
to  you  until  he  has  shown  by  a  persistent  ignoring  of 
your  requests  for  settlement  that  he  cannot  or  does  not 
intend  to  pay  his  bills  voluntarily.  Under  those  circum- 
stances his  business  is  not  desirable  to  you  in  the  future, 
and  you  are  perfectly  justified  in  making  a  sterner  de- 
mand for  settlement  or  in  taking  any  legal  steps  that 
may  seem  necessary. 

Keeping  the  customer's  good  will  is  a  matter  of 
selecting  the  proper  arguments  and  using  the  right  tone. 
It  does  not  mean  a  weak-kneed  collection  policy  or  an 
apologetic  attitude.  It  means  making  him  see  the  fair- 
ness of  your  position  and  your  readiness  to  give  due  con- 
sideration to  his  difficulties.  The  collection  letter  offers 
many  opportunities  for  the  use  of  little  personal  touches 
that  give  it  the  tone  of  friendly  interest  in  the  debtor's 
affairs.  If  you  can  make  your  letter  show  that,  if  you 
can  make  it  convey  the  idea  that  you  are  interested  in 
him  and  his  welfare,  as  well  as  your  own,  you  can  insist 
upon  payment  without  creating  resentment.  It  is  these 
intimate  touches  that  get  next  to  a  man  when  mere 
formalities  irritate  and  antagonize  him. 

Keeping  in  mind  this  matter  of  the  correct  attitude— 


45 


The  danger 
of  the 
''hard  up** 
plea 


Considering 
the  debtor  as 
a  customs 


Keemng  the 
good  vMl  cf 
the  customer 


I 


46 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 


i 


considering  the  payment  as  a  business  obligation,  and 
The  elements  retaining  the  good  will  of  the  customer— let  us  see  what 
composing  a    elements  compose  successful  collection  letters.     Now  it 
Utter^         is  well  to  remember  that  not  all  of  these  elements 
appear  in  every  letter;  but  they  represent  proved  meth- 
ods of  handling  a  number  of  situations  with  which  the 
collection  writer  is  constantly  confronted.    The  com- 
pleted letter  will  consist  of  the  combination  of  these  ele- 
ments that  will  best  meet  the  requirements  of  any  given 
case. 
First  ele-  The  first  is  the  notification  of  the  standing  of  the 

ment:  notifi-  account.    This  element  appears  in  practically  every  col- 
^^ar^irfof^  lection  letter,  and  usually  forms  the  opening  sentence  or 
the  account      Paragraph.    It  may  be  a  very  informal  reminder,  con- 
veying the  idea  that  failure  to  pay  is  due  to  a  mere  over- 
sight; thus: 

Dear  Mr.  Green: 

You  have  been  so  busy  inaking  your  preparations  for  the 

holiday  trade,  that  you  have  doubtless  overlooked  the  fact  that 

your  account  with  us  is  somewhat  overdue.  You  have  settJed  your 
I  bills  promptly  in  the  past,  and  we  feel  confident  that  this  re- 
I  minder   will  meet  with   an   equally  prompt  remittance  in  this 

instance. 

Starting  with  this  very  conciliatory  reminder,  the 
notification  is  made  more  and  more  emphatic  with  each 
succeeding  letter  of  the  collection  series. 

The  following  is  from  the  second  letter  of  a  series: 


Forms  of 
notification 
used  in 
different 
letters 


I 


The  check  you  were  to  send  me  for  $18.50,  due  on  your  bill  of 
March  12th,  has  not  arrived.  No  doubt  you  have  overlooked  the 
bill,  or  have  it  pigeon-holed  for  early  settlement. 

In  this  letter,  an  oversight  is  again  suggested,  but 
such  a  suggestion  is  usually  far-fetched  after  the  first 
letter  has  been  unanswered. 

This  opening  from  a  fourth  letter  is  still  more  em^ 
phatic : 

I  have  sent  you  frequent  statements  jBud  letters  about  th« 
$18.50  on  your  account,  which  is  now  two  months  past  due.  Yet 
you  have  not  paid  the  account  or  even  answered  my  letters. 

After  this  introductory  sentence  or  paragraph  con- 


COLLECTION  LETTERS 

tainlng  the  notification  of  how  the  axjcount  stands,  the 
letter  proceeds  with  the  collection  talk  proper  This  will 
vary  with  the  different  classes  of  debtors  and  with  the 
position  of  the  letter  in  the  series.  Naturally,  you  would 
not  write  the  same  to  the  good-pay  and  the  bad-pay  cus- 
tomer,  and  the  arguments  that  are  suitable  for  the  second 
letter  would  not  be  the  ones  to  use  in  the  fourth. 

Sometimes  you  have  reason  to  beHeve  that  the  debtor 
may  have  some  vaUd  reason  which  prevents  immediate 
payment    He  may  be  dissatisfied  with  the  goods  or  with 
the  treatment  his  order  received,  but  has  not  sent  in  any 
comp  aint.    Or  he  may  be  in  temporary  difficulty  owing 
to  sickness,  to  unexpected  and  unforeseeable  local  condi- 
tions which  make  his  own  collections  slow,  etc.    If  the 
customer  is  dissatisfied,  the  writer  invites  him  to  make 
his  complaint  known,  and  also  seizes  upon  this  oppor- 
tunity to  impress  upon  him  the  firm's  desire  always  to 
give  complete  satisfaction  to  every  customer.    In  the 
second  case,  the  coUection  writer  asks  for  a  frank  ex- 
planation, and  declares  the  firm's  willingness  to  make 
any  reasonable  arrangements  to  help  him. 

For  example,  this  letter  offers  to  clear  up  any  dis- 
satisfaction:  ^ 

r.1-  ^'  .^"  ^^*  *^  ^^^  'OJ*  dissatisfaction  with  the  contract 

swin^^f"?/'  *!  Tfu  ^*  ^»  ^«"«^  *«  clear  Ta^^^S 
l^.^^  ^*.*^  °?J'**  *^^  *o  ^low  the  matter  to  draffTSr 
your  account  troublesome  to  us  and  annoying  to  you.  *^ 

Here  is  the  way  one  correspondent  handled  a  situa- 
tion of  the  second  sort: 

oMi^^ti^^^^^^^^  :^x^^\,^ 


47 


The  coUec' 
tion  talk 
proper 


Second  ele^ 
ment:  asking 
for  explana- 
tion of  non- 
payment 


When  such  inquiries  are  sent  to  the  customer,  your 
next  procedure  wiU  depend  upon  the  nature  of  his  re- 
sponse. If  he  answers  with  some  just  complaint,  and 
that  IS  adjusted,  the  chances  are  that  he  wiU  settle  the 
bill  and  thus  close  the  transaction.    If  he  writes  that 


Third 

element: 
dealing  with 
the  custom^ 
er*s  reply 


^ 


48 

What  to  do 
if  the  ex- 
j)lanation  is 
gatisfactory 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

he  has  met  with  temporary  reverses  that  he  could  not 
have  foreseen,  the  next  step  is  to  suggest  some  way  out 
of  the  difficulty,  such  as  to  take  his  note  with  interest; 
to  ask  for  part  payment  or  payment  in  regular  instal- 
ments; or  to  offer  to  take  back  the  goods  and  cancel  the 
biU. 

A  typical  paragraph,  offering  one  of  these  sugges- 
tions, follows: 

Since  you  are  unable  to  pay  the  whole  of  your  bill  now,  we 
will  let  you  settle  for  the  rest  with  your  personal  notes,  bearing 
interest  at  6%.  Send  us  the  $75  which  you  can  pay  now.  For  the 
remainder,  $150,  you  can  send  us  at  the  same  time  one  note,  pay- 
able in  sixty  days;  or  two  notes  equal  in  amount,  payable  re- 
spectively in  thirty  and  sixty  days;  or  three  equal  in  amount, 
payable  respectively  in  thir^,  sixty  and  ninety  days.  Choose 
the  plan  which  suits  you  best.  This  arrangement  will  help  you  over 
your  present  difficulty. 


Procedure  in 
case  the 
explanation 
is  not 
satisfactory 


Fourth 
element: 
arguments 
for  prompt 
payment 


On  the  other  hand,  if  the  complaint  was  obviously 
trumped  up  to  evade  payment,  if  the  difficulty  was  one 
which  the  customer  could  have  guarded  against,  or  if  no 
response  is  made  to  the  inquiry — ^then  the  collector  will 
proceed  with  his  efforts  to  force  prompt  and  full  pay- 
ment. The  same"  arguments  will  be  used  in  this  case  as 
would  be  employed  in  a  series  where  no  inquiry  was 
made  concerning  the  reason  for  non-payment. 

Various  arguments  or  reasons  for  prompt  payment 
are  used.  It  is  to  be  remembered  that  these  must  be  in 
harmony  with  the  general  principle,  already  laid  down, 
that  payment  should  be  asked  for  only  on  the  ground 
that  it  is  justly  due  in  exchange  for  value  received.  The 
following  arguments  are  all  valid  under  this  principle : 
**We  wish  to  close  our  books  for  the  month;"  ** prompt 
payment  of  bills  enables  us  to  offer  lower  prices,  in  the 
benefit  of  which  each  debtor  shares;"  *'our  finances  are 
arranged  on  the  assumption  that  the  bills  due  us  will  be 
paid  promptly;"  **a  large  number  of  small  unpaid  ac- 
counts make  a  big  total  for  one  house  to  carry,"  etc. 

Here  is  an  example  of  the  second  argument : 

Prompt  payment  of  bills  by  our  customers  makes  it  possible 


COLLECTION  LETTERS 

for  us  to  seU  our  goods  more  cheaply.  When  our  money  comes  in 
regularly  on  the  date  due,  we  don't  have  to  make  an  allowance  for 
extra  interest  charges  and  add  a  percentage  to  all  selling  prices  to 
cover  the  amount.    You  benefit  by  the  low  prices. 

An  illustration  of  the  third  argument: 

As  we  arrange,  as  agreed  with  you,  for  monthly  payments  on 
our  charge  accounts,  our  finances  are  shaped  to  depend  on  pay- 
ments every  thirty  days.  Therefore  we  ask  a  settlement  of  this 
account. 

Note  the  difference  between  the  tone  of  these  two 
letters  and  that  of  the  one  on  p.  45.  All  three  base 
their  requests  for  payment  on  the  fact  that  a  business 
cannot  be  run  without  money;  but  the  one  on  p.  45  is 
begging  in  tone,  the  other  two  are  dignified  and  busi- 
ness-like. 

Sometimes  a  more  urgent,  personal  appeal  is  needed. 
One  effective  appeal  is  to  the  debtor's  sense  of  fair  play. 
For  example,  one  firm  writes : 

Eeluctant  as  we  are  to  believe  that  you  would  deliberately  dis- 
regard a  matter  of  this  kind,  we  still  feel  that  you  are  not  accord- 
ing us  proper  treatment,  in  view  of  the  many  accommodations  we 
have  extended  to  you  in  the  past. 

Again,  a  manufacturer  writes  to  a  dealer : 

If  you  realize  that  you  have  not  paid  for  goods  sold  to  you 
on  sixty-day  terms  more  than  four  months  ago,  we  think  you  will 
concede  that  our  treatment  of  your  account  has  been  exceedingly 
considerate,  and  that  we  are  entitled  to  be  paid  without  further 
delay,  expense,  or  annoyance. 

In  both  of  these  letters  the  argument  is— We  have 
been  considerate  of  you,  now  you  be  fair  to  us.  **Turn 
about  is  fair  play." 

Another  appeal  is  to  the  debtor's  pride— to  his  busi- 
ness or  social  standing,  and  the  like ;  thus : 


49 


A  dignified 
"need  the 
money" 
argument 


Fifth 
element: 
personal 
appeals 

Appeal  to 
the  debtor's 
sense  affair 
play 


Your  continued  neglect  of  this  obUgation  leads  us  to  one  con- 
clusion, but  It  IS  hard  for  us  to  believe  that  a  man  of  your  reputa- 
tion and  standing  would  attempt  to  evade  payment  of  a  just  debt. 

This  also  touches  his  pride: 

When  you  ordered  the  merchandise  you  received  from  us  vou 
vC  y/>"' o<^<^"Pation  as  factory  superintendent.    A  position  of  this 
kind  should  carry  with  it  considerable  personal  responsibiUty     Yet 
as  we  wrote  you  in  our  recent  letter,  the  account  you  now  have 
With  our  company  has  not  been  se'  "ed  according  to  the  contract 


Appeal  to 
the  debtor's 
pride 


6Q 

Appeal  that 
suggests  the 
iU  iff  eels  of 
non-pay- 
merU 


Typical 
appeaU  of 
this  class 


Hi 


Appeal 
based  on 
avoiding 
annoyance 
and  trouble 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

An  appeal  that  will  reach  many  debtors  is  one  that 
suggests  the  bad  effect  of  non-payment  on  their  business, 
or,  conversely,  the  good  effect  of  prompt  payment.  In 
other  words,  it  makes  the  man  think  of  his  own  loss  or 
gain.  In  this  case,  the  suggestion  of  loss  is  usually  more 
emphatic  than  that  of  gain,  for  the  former  plays  upon 
his  fear  of  the  consequences  which  may  follow  his 
refusal  to  pay  what  he  knows  to  be  a  just  obligation. 
His  guilty  conscience — ^unless  it  is  calloused  by  long  mis- 
use— ^will  reinforce  the  appeal  The  loss  that  is  sug- 
gested may  be  refusal  of  future  credit  by  our  firm,  the 
damage  to  his  credit  with  other  houses,  the  loss  of  finan- 
cial standing  in  his  community,  and  similar  matters  of 
vital  importance  to  a  business  man.  * 

One  firm  writes: 

You  want  to  keep  your  credit  perfectly  clear.  The  only  sure 
way  to  do  this,  a«  you  well  know,  is  to  pay  your  bills  promptly  as 
they  fall  due.  Any  delay  is  liable  to  cause  a  bad  impression,  which 
you  will  find  very  difficult  to  get  rid  of  later  on. 

Another  firm  uses  this: 

We  desire  to  effect  a  settlement  of  this  account  in  an  easy 
and  amicable  way.  Giving  publicity  to  it  would  not  help  us  any, 
but  it  would  certainly  bring  discredit  to  you  among  your  friends 
and  neighbors. 

This  last  letter  contains  not  only  an  appeal  to  his  loss 
in  his  business  relations,  but  also  one  to  his  personal 
pride. 

Then,  again,  the  suggestion  may  be  made  that  by 
paying  he  can  save  himself  annoyance  and  trouble.  This 
may  be  the  annoyance  of  getting  more  ** dunning*'  let- 
ters, or  the  trouble  and  expense  of  a  lawsuit.  For 
example,  in  one  of  the  earlier  letters  of  a  series,  one 
house  uses  this  appeal : 

I  not  only  wish  to  save  myself  the  trouble  of  forwarding  an- 
other statement,  but  I  am  quite  as  anxious  to  save  you  the  annoy- 
ance of  receiving  another  reminder. 

In  the  final  letter  of  a  series,  this  suggestion  becomes 
a  definite  statement  that  legal  proceedings  will  be 
promptly  begun ;  as : 


COLLECTION  LETTERS 

...7^  is  our  final  notice,  and  should  we  fail  to  hear  from  you 
within  ten  days,  the  matter  wiU  be  placed  with  our  attorneys  idth 
mst^ctions  to  take  any  action  necSsary  to  effect  ^q^Ts^^. 

The  appeals  just  enumerated  are  the  ones  most  com- 
monly  used.  They  are  based  upon  a  sound  knowledge 
of  human  nature  and  have  been  proved  by  tests  to  be 
effective.  The  list,  however,  is  by  no  means  complete. 
Each  business  man  can  add  to  it  other  appeals  which  his 
experience  has  proved  will  reach  his  dass  of  cus- 
tomers. 

Another  element  of  the  collection  letter  is  that  which 
urges  the  debtor  -to  do  it  now,-  to  pay  up  at  once. 
Some  writers  content  themselves  with  an  urgent  request 
for  prompt  payment;  as,  ** Please  give  this  matter  your 
immediate  attention ; ' '  or '  *  Send  us  your  check  or  money 
order  today.''  Others  go  further  and  suggest  some 
means  for  making  the  act  of  paying  easy;  for  example, 
Don 't  bother  to  write  a  letter.  Just  pin  your  check  to 
this  note  and  mail  it  to  me.''  Another  encloses  a  blank 
check  and  writes:  '^Simply  sign  the  enclosed  check  and 
mail  It  to  us.  I  have  already  fiUed  it  out  for  the  right 
sum."  • 


51 


Sixth 
element: 
request  to 
ao  it  now** 


<( 


These  *'easy.to-pay"  methods  have  the  advantage  of 
minimizing  the  actual  physical  effort  needed  to  make  the 
payment.  They  are  effective  because  they  forestall  man  ^s 
inclination  to  put  off  a  task  unless  it  is  made  very  easy 
to  do.  In  this  respect  the  collection  writer  has  taken 
over  one  of  the  devices  of  the  advertisement  and  sales 
letter  writers,  who  have  long  recognized  that  the  return 
coupon  and  the  return  post  card  are  among  their  most 
valuable  aids  in  getting  returns. 

There  remains  for  discussion  one  other  element  of  the 
coDection  letter— sales  talk.  Sometimes  in  the  earHer 
letters  of  a  series,  after  the  customer  has  been  reminded 
that  his  account  is  overdue,  the  writer,  apparently  for- 
getting that  this  is  a  collection  letter,  calls  his  attention 
to  a  new  line  of  goods  or  intimates  that  an  order  from 


Making  it 
easy  to  pay 


Seventh 
element: 
sales  tcdk 


sa 


A  collection 
letter  that  is 
a  sales  letter 


r    I 


Summary  of 
elements  in  a 
eoUection 
letter 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

him  would  be  welcome.  The  object  of  introducing  this 
sales  talk  into  a  collection  letter  is  partly,  of  course,  to 
secure  further  orders,  but  it  is  not  primarily  that.  The 
chief  purpose  is  to  give  the  impression  that  the  writer 
bas  no  other  thought  than  that  the  account  will  be  settled 
promptly,  and  that  he  regards  the  customer  as  one  of 
the  firm's  most  valued  friends.  This  expression  of  con- 
fidence will  bring  many  debtors  into  line  for  prompt  pay- 
ment.   It  is  a  subtle  and  effective  appeal  to  their  pride. 

Dear  Sir: 

Perhaps  you  will  be  interested  to  know  that  our  "Maryland 
Titbits*'  have  received  such  an  enthusiastic  reception  and  have 
proved  so  satisfactory  that  over  38%  of  our  first  customers  have 
re-ordered.    That  speaks  well  for  our  goods,  doesn't  it f 

I  am  glad  to  know  that  you,  too,  were  pleased  with  the  cigars 
sent  you  some  days  ago,  and  I  suppose  you  have  smoked  quite  a 
number  by  this  time,  as  you  have  not  returned  the  box. 

In  accordance  with  the  terms  of  our  offer,  I  am  enclosing  the 
bill.  I  will  much  appreciate  your  early  remittance.  Why  not  send 
along  an  order  for  another  box  with  your  check? 

Yours  very  truly. 

This  letter  was  signed  in  ink  by  the  president  of  the 
company  distributing  the  cigars.  It  proved  an  unusually 
successful  first  collection  letter.  It  is  really  a  sales  letter. 
Let  us  now  see  how  these  elements  may  be  arranged 
in  a  series  of  six  collection  letters.  For  convenience  and 
definiteness  of  reference  the  principal  elements  are  here 
summarized  and  numbered : 

I.  Notification  of  the  standing  of  the  account. 
II.  Request  for  debtor's  reasons  for  failure  or  in- 
ability to  pay:  1,  dissatisfaction  with  the 
goods  or  with  the  company's  handling  of  his 
order;  2,  sickness,  temporary  financial  diffi- 
culty, etc. 
in.    Adjustment  of  the  complaint,  or  suggestions  of 

ways  out  of  his  difficulty. 
rV.    Various  arguments  or  reasons  for  prompt  pay- 
ment. 
V.    More  urgent  x>ersonaI  appeals:  1,  to  the  debtor's 
sense  of  fair  play;  2,  to  his  pride  in  his  busi- 


COLLECTION  LETTERS 

ness  or  social  reputation ;  3,  to  the  bad  effect  of 
non-payment  on  his  credit  standing;  4,  to  his 
desire  to  save  himself  annoyance  and  trouble. 
VI.    Direct  request  for  prompt  payment 
Vn.    Sales  talk. 

In  the  series  shown  on  pages  54  to  56,  the  debtor 
makes  no  reply  to  the  company's  request  for  a  state- 
ment of  his  reasons  for  not  paying;  consequently,  the 
elements  marked  III— which  are  in  answer  to  these 
reasons— do  not  appear  in  the  series.  Likewise,  IV  is 
not  found,  for  the  writer  of  the  letter  devotes  himself  to 
the  more  urgent  personal  appeals,  marked  V.  As  was 
stated  before,  not  all  the  elements  necessarily,  or  even 
usually,  appear  in  every  letter  or  every  series. 

In  the  first  letter,  the  notification  of  the  standing  of 
the  account  (I)  contains  the  suggestion  that  non-pay- 
ment may  be  due  to  a  misunderstanding  of  the  plan  of 
payment  expected  by  the  company.  The  letter  then  ex- 
plains the  plan;  asks  for  the  cooperation  of  the  cus- 
tomer in  carrying  it  out;  and  also  assures  him  that  if 
it  becomes  impossible  for  him  to  pay  on  the  agreed  dates, 
the  company  is  willing  to  make  the  necessary  arrange-' 
ments.  Since  the  letter  assumes  that  the  failure  to  pay 
is  the  result  merely  of  a  misunderstanding,  none  of  the 
formal  appeals  for  payment  are  used.  The  letter,  as  is 
usually  the  case  with  the  first  letter  of  a  series,  is  in- 
tended chiefly  to  serve  as  a  reminder. 

In  the  fourth  paragraph,  sales  value  (VII)  is  given 
to  the  letter  by  the  offer  of  the  use  of  the  free  service 
departments. 

The  letter  ends  with  a  request  for  payment  (VI). 

The  second  letter  opens  with  a  stronger  statement  of 
the  standing  of  the  account  (I),  which  occupies  the  first 
two  paragraphs. 

The  third  paragraph  makes  appeals  to  the  customer's 
sense  of  fair  play  (V,  1)  and  to  his  pride  (V,  2) :  the 
first,  by  reminding  him  that  the  company  has  made 


53 


Analysis  of 
a  series  of 
collection 
letters — 
general 


Thefirsi 
letter 


The  second 
letter 


54 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 


COLLECTION  LETTERS 


55 


SuggetUa 
definite  eoXUo' 
Hon  -polief^ 


DonH  wait  for 
a  statement 


Makes  payment 
datet  adputable 
uHaer  emergency 
condttiont 


Betaimthe 
debtor*  9  good 
wiU 


Dear  Sir: 

Whenever  one  of  our  customers  does  not 
promptly  remit  his  first  payment  under  our 
contract  with  him,  his  account  Is  automati- 
cally referred  to  me.  Your  account  has  now 
run  behind  for  two  weeks.  Often,  in  han- 
dling accounts  called  to  my  attention,  I 
find  that  customers  have  misunderstood  or 
been  somewhat  confused  as  to  how  payments 
are  to  be  made.  Perhaps  you  have  done  so. 

While  as  a  reminder  only  we  send  out 
our  statements  shortly  before  payments  are 
due,  you  need  not  wait  for  these,  as  by 
chance  they  may  be  delayed  or  fall  to  reach 
you.  So  send  In  your  payment  when  it  is 
due,  and  you  will  receive  prompt  credit  and 
acknowlec^ment . 

I  would  like  also  to  ask  your  cooper- 
ation In  regard  to  your  payments  —  that 
Is,  that  you  write  me  if  at  any  time  it 
is  impossible  for  you  to  make  your  payments 
on  the  date  on  which  we  agreed.  This  will 
prevent  the  possibility  of  any  misunder- 
standing . 

Enclosed  you  will  find  an  outline  of 
our  various  service  depaurtments .  These 
services  are  offered  to  you  free.  Use  thea 
regularly.  . 

Will  you  put  your  remittance  in  the 
enclosed  envelope  and  mall  it  today? 

Yours  very  truly. 


THE  FIRST  LETTER 

This  is  the  first  letter  of  an  actual  collection  letter  series.  The  remaining 
letters  are  shown  on  pages  55  and  56.  The  first  letter  is  only  a  notification  of 
the  standing  of  the  account.  The  second  letter  is  a  stronger  statement  of  the 
standing  of  the  account  and  courteously  asks  for  immediate  payment.  The  third 
letter  seeks  chiefiy  for  some  explanation  for  the  delay.  The  fourth  letter  is  more 
insistent  and  peremptory  than  the  preceding  letters.  The  fifth  letter  carries  a 
note  of  finality  and  exhausted  patience.  The  sixth  letter  (not  shown)  is  merely 
a  notice  of  legal  action  for  which  the  dehtor  alone  is  responsible. 


I 


Dear  Sir: 

You  have  disappointed  me.  I  expected  a 
reply  to  my  recent  letter  regarding  payment 
on  your  account,  but  none  has  come. 

It  is  now  almost  thirty  days  since 
payment  was  due.  Your  next  payment  matures 
in  a  few  days,  and  I  am  sure  you  want  to 
keep  your  account  in  good  standing. 

We  have  granted  you  a  long  period  of 
credit,  broken  into  monthly  payments,  be- 
cause we  appreciated  the  fact  that  this 
would  make  it  easier  for  you  to  do  business 
and  because  we  were  confident  that,  espe- 
cially under  such  conditions,  responsible 
men  are  careful  to  maintain  their  credit. 

Will  you  not  send  us  your  check  while 
this  letter  is  still  fresh  in  your  mind? 
Or  at  least  write  to  me  that  I  may  have  a 
correct  understanding  of  the  situation;  this 
will  permit  your  account  to  be  handled  in  a 
satisfactory  manner. 

Yours  truly. 


THE  SECOND  LETTER 


Dear  Sir: 

Are  you  ill?  Have  you  been  absent 
from  home?  Has  some  unfortunate  circum- 
stance overtaken  you? 

Perhaps  there  is  some  unusual  condi- 
tion which  has  prevented  you  from  answering 
my  letters  or  making  your  payments. 

I  am  rather  of  the  opinion,  however, 
that  you  have  had  the  matter  fully  in  mind, 
but  have  simply  neglected  it  from  day  to 
day.  Intending  to  forward  your  payment,  but 
never  quite  "getting  around  to  it." 

At  any  rate,  I  would  appreciate  it 
greatly  if  you  would  give  this  account  your 
prompt  attention  NOW.  Then  you,  too,  will 
feel  better. 

Yours  truly. 


-     THE  THIRD  LETTER 


Touches  dAior*» 
pride  genUjf 


A  fair  request 
plainly  stated 


Offers  an  oppor^ 
iunity  fof  e^ 
planatton 


A  firm  ending 
which  doa»  not 
arouse 
resentment 


56 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 


i 


III 


Another  chance 
to  explain  and 
an  appeal  for 
equare  deeding 


Loit  (^nce  to 
explain. 


Creditor  insist- 
ent and  patience 
waning 


Dear  Sir: 

Have  you  any  cause  for  complaint  as  to 
the  handling  of  your  account  since  becom- 
ing one  of  our  customers?  If  so,  will  you 
write  at  once? 

I  have  tried  to  handle  your  account  in 
a  manner  fair  to  you  and  to  this  company. 
I  seem  to  have  failed.  At  least  you  paid 
no  attention  to  my  letters  and  are  letting 
your  account  become  seriously  delinquent. 

It  is  not  fair  to  either  of  us  to  com- 
pel me  to  write  again  and  again. 

The  spirit  of  the  golden  rule  is 
strong  within  us  all,  however,  and  I  believe 
you  will  use  the  enclosed  envelope  to  mail 
either  your  check  for  the  two  payments  now 
due  or  a  frank  letter  explaining  why  you 
have  not  paid. 

Sincerely  yours. 


THE  FOURTH  LETTER 


. 


Dear  Sir: 

If  you  are  an  honorable  man,  you  will 
make  payment  on  your  account  or  mail  us  an 
explanation  iimnediately .  We  have  called 
your  attention  to  this  account  several 
times.  You  have  not  answered. 

We  accepted  your  contract,  believing 
you  responsible  and  honorable.  We  have 
done  our  part.  You  have  not  done  yours. 
What  shall  we  believe  now? 

Yours  very  truly. 


THE  FIFTH  LETTER 


COLLECTION  LETTERS 


57 


liberal  terms  in  order  to  make  payment  easier  for  him ; 
the  second,  by  the  assumption  that  he  is  one  of  the  class 
of  responsible  business  men  who  are  careful  about  main- 
taining their  credit 

The  closing  paragraph  courteously  asks  for  imme- 
diate payment  (VI) ;  or  at  least  for  some  explanation 
(II)  which  will  give  the  company  a  correct  understand- 
ing of  the  customer's  intentiona  This  request  is  made 
a  general  one;  the  third  letter  asks  specifically  for  the 
reasons  classified  as  II,  2,  the  fourth,  for  those  classi- 
fied as  II,  1. 

In  the  third  letter,  the  notification  of  the  standing  Xhe  third 
of  the  account  (I)  is  made  rather  incidentally  in  the  leUer 
second  paragraph. 

The  letter  begins  with  specific  questions  intended  to 
find  out  whether  the  man  is  in  trouble  (II,  2) — whether 
unusual  conditions  prevent  his  paying.  These  give  him 
an  opportunity  to  explain  his  inability  to  pay,  and  open 
the  way  for  the  making  of  some  arrangement  to  meet 
the  new  conditions,  such  as  those  discussed  under  III. 
(As  no  reply  is  received  to  this  request,  there  is,  of 
course,  no  opportunity,  later,  to  make  this  arrangement.) 

The  third  paragraph  asserts  the  company 's  belief  that 
the  customer  fully  intends  to  pay,  and  has  been  merely 
putting  off  the  matter  until  a  more  convenient  time. 

The  last  paragraph  asks  that  prompt  attention  be 
given  to  the  account  (VI). 

In  this  letter  remittance  is  not  asked  for  directly, 
although  the  customer  is  made  to  understand  that  it 
would,  of  course,  be  welcomed.  The  emphasis  is  on  get- 
ting some  explanation  for  the  delay. 

In  the  fourth  letter  the  standing  of  the  account  (I)   The  fourth 
IS  given  in  the  second  paragraph.  letter 

The  letter  first  asks  if  the  customer  has  any  cause  for 
complaint  about  the  company's  manner  of  handling  his 
account  (II,  1 ;  the  previous  letter  has  emphasized  II,  2). 

The  rest  of  the  letter  plays  upon  the  customer's  sense 


i 


m 


ri 


if 


|i^ 


iw 


58 


Theffih 
letter 


The  sixth 
letter 


Analysis  of 
the  series 
according  to 
the  princi- 
ples of  right 
aitituas 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

of  fair  play  (V,  1).    In  fact,  this  is  the  appeal  that 
is  featured  throughout  the  letter. 

The  tone  of  the  letter  is  more  insistent  and  per- 
emptory than  that  of  the  preceding  members  of  the 
series. 

The  fifth  letter  prepares  the  way  for  the  final  letter, 
which  gives  notice  of  legal  action.  This  one  is  chiefly 
a  concise  statement  of  the  present  status  of  the  ac- 
count (I).  It  sums  up  the  results  of  the  company's 
effort  to  collect  the  money :  the  company  has  made  every 
reasonable  offer;  the  customer  has  paid  no  attention. 
What  can  the  company  think  about  him  now?  It  is 
going  to  give  him  one  more  chance,  however,  to  show 
that  he  is  an  honorable  man  (appeal  to  his  pride,  V,  2). 

Short,  crisp  sentences  are  used  to  give  the  note  of 
finality,  of  patience  almost  exhausted. 

The  sixth,  and  last,  letter  of  the  series  is  a  notice  that 
the  account  will  be  turned  over  to  an  attorney,  if  it  is 
not  settled  within  ten  days  (the  extreme  form  of  V,  4). 
The  customer's  persistent  ignoring  of  the  previous 
letters  has  left  the  company  no  alternative;  this  action 
is  forced  upon  it  by  his  own  neglect. 

Now  analyze  the  series  according  to  the  two  prin- 
ciples laid  down  in  the  preceding  part  of  the  chapter 
(pp.  44-46).  Throughout,  the  series  treats  the  debt  as  a 
strict  business  obligation ;  nowhere  is  there  a  hint  given 
that  payment  is  demanded  on  any  other  ground  than 
that  it  is  justly  due  the  company. 

Also,  the  customer  is  treated  with  the  greatest  con- 
sideration; the  writer  of  the  series  never  loses  sight  of 
the  fact  that  he  is  addressing  a  customer  whose  good 
will  is  to  be  retained,  and  whose  future  patronage  is  to 
be  secured.  Let  us  see  more  particularly  how  this  prin- 
ciple is  carried  out : 

The  first  four  letters  assert  the  firm's  willingness 
to  do  everything  in  its  power  to  help  him.  The  first  one 
offers  to  change  the  time  of  payment  if  the  original 


COLLECTION  LETTERS 

arrangement  is  inconvenient.  The  second  asks  in  a  gen- 
eral way  for  any  explanation  that  will  enable  the  com- 
pany to  make  some  arrangement  whereby  the  account 
can  be  handled  satisfactorily  to  both  parties  in  the  con- 
tract. The  third  specifically  inquires  whether  the  non- 
pajnnent  is  due  to  sickness  or  other  unforeseen  difficul- 
ties; and  implies  that,  if  such  is  the  case,  the  company 
is  ready  to  help  him  out  of  the  difficulty.  The  fourth 
suggests  that  perhaps  the  company  has  not  handled  the 
order  satisfactorily;  if  so,  the  debtor  has  but  to  make 
known  his  complaint,  and  the  company  will  correct  the 
mistake. 

Beyond  these  four  letters  it  is  useless  for  the  writer 
to  ignore  the  suspicion  that  the  customer  probably  does 
not  intend  to  pay;  and  consequently,  keeping  his  good 
will  is  no  longer  so  important  a  matter.  Even  in  the 
last  two  letters,  however,  the  writer  continues  to  em- 
phasize the  company's  desire  to  be  fair,  and  puts  the 
blame  for  any  harsh  procedure  squarely  upon  the  debtor 
himself. 

After  receiving  such  a  series,  a  man  could  hardly 
fail  to  be  impressed  with  the  company's  fairness  and 
willingness  to  help  him.  He  would  be  unreasonable  in- 
deed if  he  felt  any  ill  will  toward  the  house  that  was 
so  considerate.  Yet  in  the  letters  there  is  no  hint  of 
weakness  or  indecision. 


59 

Use  of  the 
principles  in 
the  different 
letters  of  the 
series 


The  effect  of 
such  a  series 


lft# 


CHAPTER  VI 


WHAT  A  SALES  LETTER 

MUST  DO 


The  princi- 
ples of  sales- 
manship  in 
a  sales  letter 


Careful 

selection  of 

ideas  and 

logical 

arrangement 

are 

necessary 


V 


nn  HERE  are  certain  basic  principles  upon  which  every 
A    successful  sales  letter  must  be  built,  certain  ele- 
ments which  it  must  contain.    If  it  is  to  take  the  place 
of  a  salesman  and  do  what  a  good  salesman  would  do, 
It  must  follow  a  definite  line  of  procedure  in  making  a 
written  sale  just  as  he  does  in  making  a  personal  one     It 
must  win  for  itself  an  audience  with  the  prospective 
customer;  and  once  that  is  gained,  it  must  follow  the 
steps  of  the  sale  exactly  as  the  salesman  does  when  he 
talks  face  to  face  with  his  prospect,  leading  him  grad- 
uaUy,  tactfully,  through  certain  definite  processes  up  to 
the  actual  signing  of  the  order. 

For  this  reason  every  sentence  and  paragraph  that 
goes  into  one  of  your  letters  should  have  a  reason  for 
being  there.  The  sole  aim  of  a  letter  is  to  get  action, 
and  non-essentials  simply  detract  from  its  directness! 
You  have  no  time  to  write  them,  nor  has  your  prospect 
time  to  read  them. 

It  is  the  easiest  thing  in  the  world  to  write  a  letter 
that  goes  rambling  from  one  topic  to  another  without 
getting  anywhere  in  particular.  But  the  good  letter 
writer  has  a  definite  end  in  mind,  and  he  goes  straight  to 
it  over  a  definite  route. 


DIRECT  SALES  LETTERS 

Go  about  the  writing  of  a  letter  as  you  would  the 

preparation   of   an   important  speech.     There   are   a 

^  thousand  things  you  might  say,  but  only  a  few,  perhaps 

ten,  are  vital.     Think  of  as  many  as  you  can  to  begin 

with;  then  sift  them  to  the  few.     Confine  yourself  to 

those  points  and  drive  them  home,  knowing  the  effect 

that  each  should  have  and  its  relation  to  the  end  you 

want  to  reach. 

^  Consider  now  the  good  sales  letter.     It  proceeds 

A    through  certain  steps,  which  are  based  logically  upon  the 

principles  of  salesmanship.    It  contains: 

1.  The  opening,  which  wins  the  reader's  attention 
and  interest,  and  prompts  him  to  go  farther  into  the 
letter. 

2.  Description  and  explanation,  which  increase  his 
interest  by  picturing  the  proposition  in  his  mind. 

3.  Proof,  which  convinces  the  reader  of  the  quality 
of  the  article  you  have  to  sell,  and  shows  him  how  other 
men  have  profited  by  its  use. 

4.  Persuasion,  which  draws  the  reader  to  your  way 
of  thinking  by  showing  the  adaptation  of  the  article  to 
his  needs. 

5.  Inducement,  which  gives  him  a  particular  or 
extra  reason  for  buying  now. 

6.  The  climax  or  clincher,  which  makes  it  easy  for 
the  reader  to  order,  and  prompts  him  to  act  at  once. 

Take  these  elements  up  one  by  one,  and  compare  them 
with  cross-sections  of  a  good  salesman's  selling  talk. 
You  will  be  surprised  to  find  how  closely  the  parallelism 
follows  and  how  simple  a  proposition  it  is  to  write  a 
^  good  sales  letter,  after  all,  once  you  learn  that  it  is 
merely  a  matter  of  talking  to  your  man  on  paper. 

First,  you  must  get  the  attention  of  the  reader.  You 
may  do  this  in  a  number  of  ways — ^by  an  opening  sen- 
tence or  paragraph,  for  instance,  that  arouses  his  curi- 
osity, or  by  a  striking  statement  that  hits  some  one  of 
his  own  problems,  difficulties,  or  desires.     This  initial 


61 


Planning 
the  sales 
letter 


The  order^ 
getting 
elements  in 
a  sales 
letter 


These 

elements  are 
based  on  the 
salesman's 
talk 


Getting 
attention 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 


AtUnHon  and 
inUrest 


Deseripium  and 
txplanaiion 


Procf 


Pernuuion 


^  p 


Inducement 


m 


Closing — 
climax  and 
cUneker 


Dear  Sir: 

Your  Christmas  tree  is  waiting  for 
you  out  here  on  my  farm  at  Kinsvale.  Don't 
you  want  your  evergreens  and  tree  brought 
straight  to  your  fireside  from  the  woods? 

,_^  I  have  a  number  of  straight,  bushy 
little  hemlock  and  pine  trees  ranging  from 
3  to  8  feet  in  height.  They  willTftaJ^ 
splendid  Christmas  trees.  Many  smaller 
ones  are  suitable  for  table  decoration. 
Wreaths  will  be  made  of  hemlock.  Juniper. 

?SL®J®fP»f®'*'  ^K^?  ^S  i"«^®s  in  diaieteV. 
They  will  be  carefully  and  firmly  woven, 
with  plenty  of  cones  and  abundant  material. 

You  cannot  buy  fresher  and  better 
trees,  wreaths  and  greenery  than  these.  I 
have  inquired  the  prices  of  florists  and 
dealers  in  the  city,  and  find  that  I  can 
deliver  them  much  cheaper  than  you  can  get 
them  in  town.  Read  the  enclosed  list  of 
comparative  prices. 

^H^^?"*  ^^^  ^^^  your  Christmas  mer- 
rier, if  the  wreaths,  the  tree,  and  fes- 
toons, are  greener,  less  broken,  fresher, 
and  more  fragrant  than  those  cut  a  week 
earlier,  and  shipped  into  town  by  freight? 

Drive  over,  pick  out  your  tree,  tag  it. 
if  you  wish.  I»ll  cut  it  down.  I  wiiralsi 
mount  the  smaller  trees,  if  you  desire,  on 
wooden  bases.  Hy  prices  cover  delivery  to 
your  door.  All  orders  must  be  received  by 
Dec.  21.  Don't  bother  to  send  money.  In 
case  of  my  regular  customers  for  farm  prod- 

?S  f  A.^^i!^  ^^^^  ^®  charged  to  their  month- 
ly accounts. 

Remember.  I  can  fill  only  the  earliest 
orders  received.  Fill  in  the  enclosed 
postal  order  blank  and  mail  it  today. 

Yours  truly. 


THE  SIX  ELEMENTS  IN  A  SALES  LETTER 

Here  is  an  actual  letter,  used  by  a  nursery  man  hi  handling  his  Christmas 
business,  that  is  ahnost  a  model  in  logically  presenting  every  element  of  sales- 
manship.  From  the  beginning  that  compels  attention  straight  through  to  the 
urgent  close,  the  reader  is  led  step  by  step  to  a  definite  desire  to  buy. 


DIRECT  SALES  LETTERS 

interest  on  the  part  of  the  man  addressed  is  absolutely 
essential  to  the  success  of  the  letter.  No  matter  how  well 
your  proposition  may  be  stated  in  the  body  of  the  letter, 
or  how  strong  your  close,  your  efforts  will  be  lost  if 
the  opening  does  not  start  the  man  reading. 

Following  this  attention-winning  opening,  the  good 
letter  runs  directly  into  the  description  and  explanation. 
This  part  must  be  above  all  specific.  Every  salesman 
knows  the  value  of  the  actual  demonstration — of  having 
his  goods  on  the  ground,  so  that  the  prospect  can  see 
and  feel  and  understand.  As  a  letter  writer  you  can- 
not show  your  goods:  you  must  depend  on  description. 
Give  your  man  a  definite  idea  of  what  you  have  to  offer. 
Picture  the  article,  its  use,  its  advantages,  so  vividly  that 
it  swims  before  his  mental  eye. 

Proof  follows  logically  after  description.  The  sales- 
man doesn't  expect  the  buyer  to  take  his  word  for  the 
quality  of  his  goods;  he  hands  out  his  samples  for  ex- 
amination. Then  he  tells  how  Mr.  So  and  So  in  the  next 
town  has  been  selling  or  using  the  goods  for  years  and 
has  just  given  him  another  large  order.  Similarly,  in 
the  sales  letter  it  is  not  enough  to  give  the  reader  your 
unsupported  description  of  the  article  or  explanation 
of  what  it  will  do.  You  must  reinforce  your  statements 
by  definite  proof  of  their  truth.  This  you  may  do  by 
some  novel  demonstration  of  the  quality  of  the  goods, 
or  by  showing  the  satisfaction  which  they  have  given 
other  buyers. 

Persuasion  intensifies  the  desire  that  has  been  awak- 
ened by  the  proof.  Proof  has  demonstrated  to  the  reader 
how  the  article  has  helped  other  men,  and  has  thus  sug- 
gested to  him  that  he  also  may  be  benefited  by  it ;  that 
is,  proof  has  created  a  latent  desire  for  it.  Persuasion 
turns  this  latent  desire  into  an  active  buying  force  by 
showing  the  reader  definitely  how  the  article  will  help 
him  personally.  Persuasion  brings  the  article  into  rela- 
tion with  his  own  needs  and  interests,  just  as  the  skilful 


63 


Describing 
the  article  or 
explaining 
the  propo- 
sition 


Proving 

your 

statements 


Persuading 
the  prospect 
to  buy 


r 


^i 


M 


h 


C" 


64 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 


Use  of  worn- 
out  figure 


Too  general 


Dirednese  en- 
tirdy  lacking 


No  exptanation 
or  argument 


Offer  not  clear 


Weak  dou 


My  dear  Sir: 

Opportunity  comes  to  a  man's  door 
only  once.  He  must  be  prepared  when  it 
knocks  at  his  door,  and  answer  "ready," 
otherwise  he  is  largely  a  failure;  a 
drudge,  trudging  along  daily  on  a  mere 
pittance,  awaiting  the  end,  with  no  one 
but  himself  to  blame. 

Get  out  of  the  rut  and  into  a 
field  of  greater  knowledge,  and  thus  be 

?repared  to  conmiand,  yea  even  insure  a 
arger  income .  Business  men  are  coming  to 
recognize  the  value  of  a  better  knowledge 
of  existing  conditions,  of  organization 
and  systematization.  The  factory  expert 
may  safely  without  fear  of  contradiction 
be  said  to  be  the  Business  Adviser  of 
today.  He  assists  in  the  organizing  of  a 
business,  and  much  if  not  the  greater  part 
of  the  success  of  the  manufacturer  must 
be  attributed  to  the  wisdom  and  grasp  of 
the  business  foresight  of  the  accountant. 

But  it  is  no  longer  necessary  for  you 
to  depend  upon  an  outsider  for  help  in 
organizing  £ind  conducting  your  business. 
Here  is  your  opportunity  to  become  an  ex- 
pert yourself  at  a  nominal  cost.  Fill  out 
your  order  and  get  our  book  Just  published 
on  "Factory  Orgguiization."  This  book  has 
been  completely  rewritten 

Our  prospectus  fully  eacplains  the 
scope  of  the  work  and  qualifications  of 
the  writer.  Any  further  information  desired 
will  be  cheerfully  given  on  request.  This 
is  your  only  opportunity  to  take  advantage 
of  a  special  offering.  Will  you  grasp  it? 
Act  at  once!  Awaiting  the  courtesy  of  a 
reply,  we  are 

Very  truly  yours. 


A  LETTER  LACKING  IN  DIRECTNESS  AND  APPEAL 

This  letter  is  so  full  of  generalities,  and  so  lacking  in  personality  that  It 
entirely  misses  the  individual  appeal.  The  proposition  offered  is  not  mentioned 
until  the  third  paragraph  and  then  in  an  incidental  way  only.  Despite  the  inter- 
rogation and  exclamation  points  in  the  last  paragraph,  the  close  is  weak. 


DIRECT  SALES  LETTERS 


65 


Uy  dear  Mr.  Colby: 

This  morning  I  received  from  our 
printers  some  news  that  I  feel  certain  will 
be  of  interest  to  you.  And  because  this  is 
a  matter  of  importance,  may  I  hear  from  you 
and  have  the  benefit  of  your  opinion  before 
any  public  announcement  is  made? 

I  will  receive  from  our  printers 
Thursday  a  few  advsmce  copies  of  C.  P. 
Watson's  "Factory  Organization" —  a  busi- 
ness book  that  I  believe  will  save  you  more 
DOLLARS  than  any  other  book  in  print. 

We  have  issued  no  printed  matter  about 
"Factory  Organization."  But  even  a  VOLUME 
of  printed  matter  could  not  show  you  its 
value  as  will  the  book  itself.  I  do  not 
expect  you  to  BUY  it  blindly.  I  merely  want 
you  to  look  it  over  at  MY  RISK  and  give  me 
your  frank  opinion  of  it. 

YOU  WOULD  WILLINGLY  RISK  A  DOZEN  TIMES 
$2.00  for  a  SINGLE  plan  that  would  reduce 
your  factory  costs  ALONE.  Yet  this  book 
contains  22  money  saving  plans  that  will 
reduce  expenses  throughout  your  whole  busi- 
ness— ^plans  of  hiring  and  handling  em- 
ployees— plans  that  will  check  every  leak 
and  waste  in  your  factory  and  office. 

Merely  send  for  the  book  on  approval. 
The  $2.00  you  forward  will  not  be  regarded 
£LS  a  remittance  but  as  a  deposit.  And  if 
ANY  SINGLE  CHAPTER  alone  is  not  worth  $5.00 
CASH  to  you,  I  will  remit  you  in  all  $2.10 
to  pay  you  in  addition  for  your  postage. 

Merely  pin  a  $2.00  bill  to  this  letter 
— mail  tonight  if  possible — and  use  the 
envelope  enclosed. 

Yours  very  truly. 


Pereonal  optti' 

ingarousu 

confident 


Explanalum 


Proof 


Persuaeion  and 
explanation 


Proof  f  persuO' 
eion,  and  in' 
ducement. 


Clincher 


THE  SAME  PROPOSITION  IN  MAN-TO-MAN  TALK 

Note  how  the  book  proposition  in  the  letter  on  the  opposite  page  is  handled 
in  this  rewritten  letter — ^as  personal  as  a  call  over  the  phone.  Proverbs  and 
axioms  are  replaced  by  reasons  why  the  chance  to  buy  is  worth  real  cash  to  th« 
particular  reader  every  hour  of  his  factory  day. 


offering  an 
inducement 


Making  it 
easy  to  order 


These 
elements 
illustrated 
in  a  typical 
letter 


m 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

salesman  makes  his  sales  talk  fit  the  individual  needs 
of  each  buyer. 

There  is  another  thing  which  the  letter  as  well  as  the 
salesman  must  do — offer  a  specific  inducement.  You 
know  how  the  clever  salesman  manipulates  his  talking 
points.  Always  he  holds  back  till  the  last  some  extra 
reason  why  you  should  accept  his  proposition  without 
delay.  This  is  the  part  that  inducement  plays  in  the 
letter.  As  you  hesitate,  undecided  whether  or  not  to 
order,  the  shrewd  sales-writer  shoots  at  you  one  last 
advantage  which  he  has  held  in  reserve,  and  with  which 
he  hopes  to  induce  you  to  act  now. 

And,  you  will  also  recall,  the  salesman  follows  up  his 
talk  immediately  by  placing  before  you  an  order  blank 
ready  for  your  signature.  He  has  learned  the  secret  of 
making  it  easy  to  order.  And  that  is  what  you,  too, 
must  do  in  your  business-getting  letter:  follow  up  your 
last  inducement  and  your  **Act  today'*  by  giving  the 
man  something  to  sign — a  post  card,  a  coupon,  something 
that  is  ready  to  return.  Make  what  he  is  to  do  so  plain 
to  him  that  there  can  be  no  possible  misunderstanding. 
Say  it  in  so  many  words — '*You  do  this  and  we  will  do 
that"  Aim  to  make  your  climax  so  direct,  so  atrong 
and  simple  that  the  reader  cannot  resist  the  tMiptation 
to  reply. 

To  illustrate  the  use  of  this  outline,  take,  for  example, 
the  letter  on  page  62,  an  actual  business  letter  that 
was  successful  in  selling  a  great  many  Christmas  trees 
and  wreaths  by  mail.  Note  what  an  analysis  of  its  make- 
up reveals,  how  it  leads  step  by  step  to  its  climax. 

Here  attention  is  won  through  a  striking  opening 
assertion  that  must  arouse  the  curiosity  of  the  reader. 
Then  the  letter  runs  quickly  into  explanation.  Proof 
is  found  in  the  frank  discussion  of  prices  and  in  the 
enclosed  price  list,  which  the  reader  may  test  for  ac- 
curacy in  his  local  store.  The  next  paragraph  persuades 
through  suggesting  how  the  goods  will  make  Christmas 


DIRECT  SALES  LETTERS 

merrier.  Then  follows  inducement  in  the  opportunity 
to  pick  out  one's  tree,  and  the  offer  of  a  free  wooden 
base  and  free  delivery.  Finally  the  climax  comes  in  the 
last  urgent  suggestion  to  act  at  once  because  the  number 
is  limited.  And  how  could  ordering  be  made  easier  f 
** Don't  bother  to  send  money."  Simply  **Fill  in  the 
enclosed  postal  order  blank  and  mail  it  today." 

Of  course,  not  all  letters  have  the  elements  marked 
off  so  clearly  as  this,  or  arranged  in  just  this  order. 
Various  combinations  and  proportions  are  employed  to 
fit  various  conditions.  Your  choice  of  the  form  to  use 
will  depend  upon  your  knowledge  of  what  will  win  the 
reader's  interest.  But  the  finished  letter  contains,  in 
some  degree,  every  one  of  these  elements. 

On  page  64  is  shown  a  letter  which  is  lacking  in  many 
of  the  elements  that  make  a  good  sales  letter.  On  page 
65  is  the  same  letter  rewritten. 

Another  element  which  is  sometimes  called  '*the 
whip"  appears  in  many  letters.  It  is  generally  a  short 
paragraph  usually  consisting  of  a  single  line,  intended 
to  summarize  pointedly  what  has  gone  before,  or  to  whet 
the  prospect's  curiosity,  or  retain  his  interest,  or  surprise 
him  with  an  inducement,  or  suggest  a  definite  action. 
Some  examples  are:  **Whyr',  ''Here's  the  big  idea.", 
.  ''Now,  what  do  you  think  of  this?",  "But  the  book  is 
free.",  "Yes,  it  wiU  pay."  (See  pages  121,  122,  125). 
The  effect  of  the  "whip"  may  be  either  physical  or 
psychological;  that  is,  it  may  serve  as  a  rest  period 
between  paragraphs,  or  urge  the  prospect  to  the  action 
desired.  Both  effects  are  sometimes  obtained  in  a 
"whip." 

The  only  sure  method  of  learning  the  functions, 
value,  and  proper  use  of  these  elements,  is  to  study 
each  one  individually.  Then,  with  an  appreciation  of 
the  effect  of  each  upon  the  reader,  you  can  buUd  a 
balanced  business  letter  that  will  bring  results. 


67 


Note  the 

inducement 

anddimax 


c« 


The  whip'* 


Study  the 
elemenU  in 
thefoUotoing 
chapters 


j^it 


CHAPTER  VII 


GETTING  ATTENTION  AND 
AROUSING  INTEREST 


Arousing 
interest  in 
the  first  few 
words 


Problem  of 
beginning — 
in  ttDo  classes 
of  letters 


**/^ET  your  reader  safely  past  the  first  six  word% 
xJI  and  his  attention  is  yours'' — ^thus  one  experienced 
correspondent  sums  up  the  importance  of  the  opening 
sentence  of  a  sales  letter.  **The  first  few  words,"  he 
continues,  **whet  or  deaden  curiosity.  Judged  by  them, 
the  letter  is  either  quickly  condemned  to  the  forgotten 
heap  beneath  the  desk,  or  else  approved  for  further  con- 
sideration.'' And  he  is  right.  A  bad  start  will  kill 
an  otherwise  passable  sales  letter. 

What  is  a  bad  start?  It  is  one  that  does  not  nail 
attention  with  the  first  phrase,  that  does  not  turn  this 
attention  to  vital,  personal  interest. 

Get  attention — ^the  successful  beginning  must  first  do 
that.  But  attention  may  be  momentary,  transient.  It 
must  be  converted  into  lasting,  compelling  interest  if  you 
are  to  bring  your  reader  into  a  receptive  attitude  toward 
the  remainder  of  your  letter  and  the  proposition  that  it 
presents  (page  71). 

The  problem  of  getting  attention  and  arousing  in- 
terest varies  with  the  two  classes  of  sales  letters :  those 
in  answer  to  an  inquiry,  and  the  unsolicited  letter.  In 
the  first  class  the  attention  and  interest  of  the  reader 
are,  to  a  certain  extent,  assured,  and  the  writer's  care 


I 


STARTING  THE  LETTER 

is  not  to  kill  his  interest,  and  also  to  stimulate  it.  In 
the  second  class  the  attention  of  the  reader  must  be  se- 
cured and  his  interest  aroused. 

For  the  first  class  a  single  caution  will  be  sufficient. 
In  answering  an  inquiry  do  not  begin  with  a  stereotyped 
acknowledgment  of  the  receipt  of  the  inquiry.  You  only 
deaden  the  reader's  interest— you  certainly  cannot 
stimulate  it— by  starting  out  in  the  old  common-place 
way:  ''I  have  the  honor  to  inform  you,"  or  **In  reply 
to  yours  of  the  18th  I  beg  to  state."  There  is  no  par- 
ticular  honor  involved  in  informing  me  and  no  reason  on 
earth  why  a  man  should  *'beg  to  state"  something  I  have 
asked  him.  A  business  man  told  me  that  he  got  so  sick 
of ' ' begging"  letters  that  he  fired  them  all  into  the  waste- 
basket.  Equally  bad  is,  *'Your  esteemed  favor  of  the 
15th  is  at  hand,  and  in  reply  I  would  say."  The  begin- 
ning of  the  letter— the  part  from  which  the  reader  gets 
his  first  impression— is  too  important  for  such  meaning- 
less formalities. 

Why  not  begm  directly  and  naturally?  When  I 
write  for  a  catalogue  for  example,  why  should  a  man 
begin  his  letter  in  reply  with  a  preamble  like  this: 

Answering  your  recent  favor  addressed  to  our  office,  we  wish 
to  state  that  under  separate  cover  we  are  mailing  you  a  copy  of 
our  1916  catalogue  and  trust  you  may  find  such  a  lamp  a«  you 
require  lUustrated  therein.  r        /«« 

Why  not  break  right  in : 

The  catalogue  you  asked  for  the  other  day  is  going  to  you  m 
this  mail,  and  we  are  so  confident  that  you  wiU  find  listed  in  it 
just  the  kind  of  lamp  you  need  that  we  want  you  to  go  through  it 
very  carefully.  The  lamps  listed  on  pages  25  and  29\re  intended 
ior  use  under  such  conditions  as  you  described  in  your  letter,— etc. 

What's  the- difference?  The  first  is  entirely  formal 
and  impersonal.  I  feel  that  the  writer  has  looked  upon 
my  inquiry  as  only  one  of  a  thousand,  and  that  he  has 
no  particular  interest  in  helping  me  to  get  what  I  want. 
Why,  then,  should  I  be  interested  in  his  letter  t  The 
second  is  direct  and  personal,     I  feel  that  this  letter 


69 


Infirei  class, 

avoid 

stereotyped 

acknowledge 

ments 


Begin 

directly  and 
naiuraUy 


Formal  vs. 

personal 

beginning 


/ 


70 


A  successful 
beffinnmg—' 
personal  and 
ncUural 


Second  class: 
getting 
atteniion  by 
the  use  of 
the  display 
head 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

is  really  written  to  me  and  that  tlie  writer  wants  to 
help  me.    Of  course  1*11  read  his  letter. 
Equally  successful  are  the  following : 

We  are  pleased  to  get  your  request  for  information  about  our 
improved  gas  range,  and  a  copy  of  our  catalogue  goes  forward  by 
today  ^a  mail. 

Your  attrition  is  particularly  called  to  the  descriptive  matter 
on  pages  3  to  9  inclusive, — etc. 

And  also: 

The  catalogue  for  which  you  wrote  is  too  large  to  enclose  with 
this  letter,  and  so  you  will  get  it  in  another  envelope.  You  will 
find  on  page  4  a  complete  description  of  the  1916  Model,  Smith 
Calculator, — etc. 

These  are  direct  and  personal,  and  lead  the  reader 
naturally  into  the  description  of  the  article. 

In  letters  of  the  second  class — the  unsolicited  sales 
letters — some  successful  writers  hegin  with  a  display 
head,  consisting  of  a  short  phrase  or  sentence,  printed 
in  capitals  or  underlined,  thus: 

CUT  YOUR  COAL  BILLS  IN  HALF. 

THIS  MEANS  MONEY  TO  YOU— BIG  MONEY. 

FIRE  TWO  OF  YOUR  CLERKS. 


STARTING  THE  LETTER 


71 


This  plan  is  based  upon  successful  advertising  prac- 
tice. It  is  to  a  sales  letter  what  a  catch-line  is  to  an 
advertisement.  You  summarize  the  most  striking  feature 
of  your  proposition  in  the  smallest  possible  number  of 
words,  and  hurl  them  at  your  prospective  buyer  with 
all  the  emphasis  at  your  command. 

An  admirable  example  of  this  scheme  was  the  letter 
of  a  magazine  publisher  addressed  to  subscribers  from 
whom  renewals  of  subscriptions  were  being  solicited. 
The  letter  opened  with  the  single  word— **  EXPIRED !' ' 
Very  few  of  those  who  received  that  letter  failed  to 
read  further  to  learn  who,  or  what,  had  expired. 

The  advantage  of  the  display-line  opening  is  that  it 
^j  -.-  virtually  compels  the  reader  to  continue  into  the  second 

display  head  paragraph  of  your  letter.    Used  with  discretion,  the  idea 
is  excellent.    It  makes  the  reader  sit  up.    The  human 


Advantages 
of  the 


Dear  Mr.  Burke: 

You  wouldn't  think  of  throwing 
away  your  fountain  pen  simply  be- 
cause the  ink  is  exhausted. 

Then  why  throw  away  your  worn 
duplicating  machine  ribbons?  We  can 
re-ink  them  as  well  as  you  can  fill 
your  fountain  pen. 

If  you  will  examine  one  of  your 
apparently  worthless  ribbons,  you 
will  find  that  the  fabric  is  scarce- 
ly worn  at  all.  We  take  these,  treat 
them  with  our  special  process,  re- 
fill them  with  ink,  and  return  them 
to  you  practically  new  ribbons  and 
for  only  one-half  the  cost. 

Re^  the  enclosed  folder  —  it 
explains-  our  proposition  fully.  But 
a  trial  will  convince  you.  And  the 
sooner  you  send  them, the  more  money 
you'll  save. 

Why  not  pack  them  up,  put  on 
the  enclosed  shipping  label,  and  send 
them  along  right  now? 

Yours  very  truly. 


Attention 


IniereHand 
explanation 


Froofand 
explanation 


Proofs  persuth 
Mvon^  and 
inducement 


Clincher 


TWO  WAYS  OF  WINNING  ATTENTION 

In  this  sales  letter  all  the  elements  of  salesmanship  are  present,  yet  th^ 
are  so  cleverly  interwoven  that  the  letter  stands,  first  of  all,  as  a  unit.  Attention 
is  won  through  a  combination  of  two  methods  of  opening  a  letter — ^use  of  the 
word  *'you"  and  a  direct  unusual  statement 


1 


'[ 


mi 


n 

P$ychoiogy 
of  the 
display  head 


Disadvan- 
tages of  the 
display  head 


The 

'Hrritating*' 
display  head 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

mind  is  so  constructed  that  it  requires  a  positive  and 
conscious  mental  effort  to  turn  aside  from  any  thing 
which  has  aroused  curiosity.  The  normal  operation  of 
the  mind  is  to  satisfy  that  curiosity,  even  though  the 
reader's  cold  reason  tells  him  that  he  is  not  likely  to 

be  interested. 

One  disadvantage,  in  the  opinion  of  some  correspond- 
ents, is  that  the  display  head  suggests  a  form  letter. 
These  writers  prefer  some  other  method  which  gives 
them  an  opportunity  at  the  beginning  to  give  their  letter 
more  of  the  tone  of  a  personal  communication. 

Another  danger  is  that  this  spectacular  device  may 
arouse  a  degree  of  attention  which  the  merit  of  your 
proposition  does  not  justify.  This  style  of  opening  is 
like  the  catch-line  of  an  advertisement  or  the  head  line 
of  a  newspaper  article.  The  ad-writer  who  shrieks 
"Prices  Slaughtered''  and  then  lists  staple  goods  at  pre- 
vailing prices  misses  fire.  The  newspaper  which  habitu- 
ally employs  lurid  headlines  and  six-inch  type  to  set 
forth  the  ordinary  doings  of  a  dull  day  has  nothing  in 
reserve  when  an  event  warranting  the  spread  eagle 
scream  line  occurs.  The  method  is  one  to  use  sparingly, 
and  only  when  other  means  f  aiL 

The  display  head  which  is  intended  to  secure  atten- 
tion  by  ** irritating"  the  reader  is  especially  dangerous. 
However,  it  is  sometimes  used  with  good  effect.  Here  ia 
an  example  from  a  letter  written  by  a  collection  agency. 
This  concern  had  a  series  of  form  letters  dedgned  to 
facilitate  collections,  and  the  circular  letter  through 
which  it  brought  the  proposition  to  the  attention  of  pos- 
sible clients  opened : 

''YOU  DO  NOT  PAY  YOUR  BILLS  PROJ^IPTLY, 
SIR!" 

Naturally,  the  man  who  received  such  a  slap  in  the 
face  did  not  toss  the  letter  aside  without  learning  more, 
and  when  he  did  read  on,  he  found  that  he  had  no  reason 


STARTING  THE  LETTER 

to  be  offended.  The  letter  was  written,  not  to  the  man 
who  did  not  pay  his  debts,  but  to  firms  whose  business 
it  was  to  deal  with  such  men ;  and  it  hit  upon  the  problem 
that  they  were  constantly  trying  to  solve. 

But  this  ** irritating"  device  must  be  used  with 
caution.  It  does  impel  the  reader  to  go  further  into 
the  letter,  but  in  the  hands  of  an  inexperienced  or  un- 
tactful  writer,  it  is  likely  to  arouse  resentment  that  the 
remainder  of  the  letter  will  not  remove,  no  matter  how 
attractive  a  proposition  it  presents.  If  you  feel  that 
you  must  employ  this  means  to  get  a  man  ^s  attention,  be 
sure  that  you  remove  the  sting  before  you  close  the  letter. 
Prejudiced  readers  are  not  often  buyers. 

Some  writers  use  a  modified  form  of  the  display  head. 
Their  first  sentence  is  short  and  emphatic,  but  it  is  not 
in  capitals  or  underlined.  It  is  made  a  part  of  the  body 
of  the  letter.    Here  are  some  examples : 

*' Pay-day — ^what  does  it  mean  to  you?" 

"Does  your  money  *go  'round'?  Or  does  it  fail  to 
stop  all  the  gaps  made  by  last  week's  bills?" 

"You've  got  to  have  more  money!" 

This  method  has  most  of  the  appeal  of  the  complete 
display  head  without  the  latter 's  suggestion  of  the  "Yel- 
low Journal" 

What  form  is  best  for  this  short  opening  sentence, 
used  either  as  a  regular  display  head  or  incorporated 
in  the  body  of  the  letter  ?  Some  writers  prefer  the  direct 
command,  others  the  question,  and  still  others  the 
declarative  form.  The  direct  command  demands  atten- 
tion, but  may  easily  be  made  too  peremptory  and  dicta- 
torial. The  question  is  more  intimate;  it  suggests  a 
greater  degree  of  personal  interest  in  the  reader's  needs. 
The  declarative  form  is  perhaps  more  natural  than  either 
of  the  others,  but  ^  *^®  opinion  of  some  correspondentar, 
is  less  forceful.  All  have  been  used  successfully.  The 
choice  will  depend  upon  the  inclination  of  the  individual 
writer. 


73 


This  form  is 
to  be  used^ 
withcatdiom 


A  modeled 
type  of 
display  head 


ThebeH 
form  for  the 
introductory 
senience 


74 

The  differ' 
ence  between 
getting  atteu' 
iion  and 
arousing 
interest 


Combining 
the  attention 
and  interest- 
getting 
features 


Arousing 
interest: 
specific 
methods 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

Thus  far  we  have  been  discussing  one  function  of 
the  beginning  of  a  sales  letter— getting  attention.  But, 
as  we  learned  in  the  first  part  of  this  chapter,  the  begin- 
ning must  do  more.  It  is  easy  enough  to  attract  atten- 
tion; the  rub  comes  when  you  endeavor  to  vitalize  that 
attention  into  personal,  undivided  interest.  The  first  is 
often  only  a  trick  of  words.  Cry  **Stop!''  and  every 
man  within  hearing  will  turn  to  your  call.  But  the  next 
word  uttered  must  make  its  personal  appeal  or  the  atten- 
tion gained  is  lost  And  attention  lost  is  a  double  loss, 
for  a  man  once  tricked  into  pausing  to  hear  something 
of  no  interest  will  not  be  tricked  again. 

Hence,  the  means  employed  for  getting  attention  in  a 
letter  must  either  be  followed  up  by  some  method  of 
arousing  interest,  or  be  combined  with  it.  Many  cor- 
respondents prefer  to  combine  the  two  elements.  They 
dispense  with  the  special  attehtion-getting  device — ^the 
display  head  or  the  short,  pithy  opening  sentence — and 
start  in  directly  with  some  subject  of  interest  to  the  pro- 
spective buyer.  They  aim  to  secure  attention  and  arouse 
interest  at  the  same  time.  Note  how  effectively  this 
method  is  used  in  the  following  letter  addressed  to 
bankers: 

Bear  Mr.  Hunt: 

There 's  a  bank  here  in  Chicago — not  mnch  larger  than  yonrs — 
that  secured  over  280  new  savings  depositors  last  month!  And 
secured  them,  mind  you,  on  the  sole  strength  of  business-getting 
circular  letters — ^without  the  aid  of  a  single  personal  solicitor. 

That's  why  this  letter  is  as  vital  to  you  as  though  it  were  a 
certified  check.    For  it  tells  about, — etc. 

Such  a  letter  gives  greater  opportunity  for  an  easy 
personal  beginning,  and  has  less  suggestion  of  the  form 
letter  than  one  starting  with  a  display  head. 

Let  us  turn  now  to  specific  methods  for  arousing  in- 
terest. These  methods  are  numberless,  and  only  a  few 
illustrations  can  be  given  here.  They  will  suggest  others 
which  will  meet  the  needs  of  any  partioular  business. 
Sometimes  they  are  used  in  connection  with  the  display 
head;  sometimes  they  dispense  with  it. 


STARTING  THE  LETTER 


75 


Dear  Mr.  Benson: 


You  believe  in  protecting  your  home 
from  fire,  don't  you?  But  how  about  pro- 
tecting it  from  the  other  elements? 

The "next  time  it  rains,  your  roof  may 
leak,  your  ceilings  may  be  water-soaxed.  and 
some  of  the  choicest  and  most  valued  con- 
tents of  your  home  damaged  beyond  repair. 

You  have  often  seen  poorly  constructed 
roofs  allowing  the  rain  to  beat  in.  But  it 
isn't  necessary  for  you  to  run  this  risK. 
For  at  no  more  than  what  ordinary  roofs 
cost,  you  can  get  absolute  protection  --in 
Flintoid.  Here  is  a  roofing  that  will  with- 
stand year  in  and  year  out  the  most  severe 
weather  conditions. 

Flintoid  is  made  of  the  very  best  of 
raw  materials.  It  is  laid  in  three  layers 
over  the  entire  surface.  Over  that  goes  a 
red  coating  that  is  absolutely  unaffected 
by  heat.  cold,  or  dampness. 

Just  sit  down  for  a  moment  and  figure 
up  how  long  it  has  been  since  your  roof  was 
put  on.  Can  you  trust  longer  to  its  doubt- 
ful protective  qualities?  Flintoid  can  be 
laid  right  over  the  old  roof,  as  the  book- 
let shows.  The  cost  includes  nails  and 
cement  —  and  we  pay  the  freight. 

Simply  fill  in  the  dimensions  of  your 
roof  on  the  enclosed  order  blank,  sign  and 
nail  today. 

Very  truly  yours. 


Intimate 
question  tdna 
aUfntion 

Interest  and 
persuasion 


Persuasion  and 
explanation 


ExphmaHem 


Perstiasiont 
explanation, 
and  inducement 


CUneker 


HOLDING  INTEREST  TO  THE  END 

This  letter  is  a  good  example  of  interest  won  and  held  from  beginning  to 
end.  Almost  every  paragraph  contains  explanation,  cleverly  combined  with  other 
elements.  The  proof  is  given  in  the  enclosed  booklet;  convincing  persuasion 
appears  in  three  paragraphs;  and  inducement  follows. 


I 


I 


76 

The  human 
interest 
story:  Us 
universal 
appeal 


Using 

human 

interest 

in  a  later  to 

mothers 


Note  the 
mingling  of 
humor  and 
sympathy 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

A  common  device  is  the  ''human  interest  story*'— 
one  dealing  with  primitive  passions,  the  incidents  of 
which  are  common  experiences.  Your  wash-woman  and 
the  heiress  at  boarding  school,  your  office  boy  and  the 
director  of  a  great  railway,  are  equally,  though  perhaps 
differently,  affected  by  it.  It  deals  with  fundamentals. 
It  ignores  non-essentials.  Human  interest  it  is  which 
packs  the  playhouse,  which  makes  possible  a  penny  press, 
which  sells  millions  of  magazines.  Properly  handled,  it 
may  be  made  the  basis  of  nine-tenths  of  your  successful 
sales  letters. 

Let  us  suppose  we  are  writing  to  a  woman  on  the 
subject  of  boy's  clothing.    As  this  is  a  subject  which 
lends  itself  readily  to  the  display  line  opening  described 
in  the  first  part  of  this  chapter,  we  will  use  it,  thus : 
Dear  Mrs.  Myers: 

ABOUT  THAT  BOY  OF  YOURS— 

We  have  her  attention ;  of  that  there  can  be  no  doubt, 
for  the  boy  is  the  most  interesting  subject  in  the  world 
to  his  mother,  whether  he  be  an  effeminate  little  book- 
worm or  the  neighborhood  terror.  Now  what  statement 
can  we  next  make  to  turn  that  attention  into  interest 
and  lead  naturally  to  our  proposition  ?  What  little  fact 
of  human  nature  will  open  her  mind,  enlist  her  sym- 
pathy, gain  her  confidence,  and  bring  her  to  look  at  our 
proposition  from  the  right  standpoint? 

•*  i?®4?  ^^^^S  **  *^*«  age  ^hen  his  spirit  of  manliness  asserts 
Itself.  You  find  him  imitating  his  father's  manners— he  is  using 
your  embroidery  scissors  to  shave  with— he  is  no  longer  ambitious 
to  be  a  policeman,  but  has  hia  eye  on  the  Presidency.  Among  the 
serious  problems  with  him  today  is  this:  he  is  beginning  to  want 
ma^y,  square-cut,  ''grown-up''  clothes.  He  is  no  longer  satisfied 
with  ordinary  boys   clothes.    He  wants  something  * '  like  father 's. ' ' 

This  is  human  interest.    We  touch  upon  that  pathet- 
ically humorous  period  of  transf onnation  between  child- ' 
hood  and  youth  in  order  that  we  may  bring  our  reader 
to  approach  the  subject  of  her  boy's  clothes  from  the 
boy's  own  viewpoint. 


STARTING  THE  LETTEE 


TT 


Again,  a  maker  of  eye-wash  might  say : 

Dear  Sir: 

Trouble  with  your  eyesf 

Ten  thousand  people  went  blind  last  year  in  New  York  State 
alone.  Over  1,000,000  pairs  of  eye-glasses  were  sold.  Are  your 
eyes  in  danger! 

Here  we  appeal  to  fear. 

A  letter  with  the  following  opening  paragraph  was 

sent  out  by  a  retail  meat  market : 

Dear  Sir: 

Some  evening  when  you  feel  as  though  nothing  would  please 
you  more  than  a  nice  thick  steak  or  a  couple  of  choice  chops,  drop 
around  to  THE  T  &  G,  and  you'll  be  able  to  take  home  a  steak 
or  chops  that  will  make  your  mouth  water  when  they  come  from 
the  griddle. 

An  appeal  to  the  palate — a  suggestion  of  an  appetiz- 
ing dinner — ^this  will  interest  most  of  us. 

Similarly  appeals  to  health  may  form  the  basis  of 
interest  in  letters  written  by  makers  of  patent  medi- 
cines. Clothing  and  shoe  houses  may  appeal  to  comfort 
and  style ;  business  schools  to  ambition ;  and  so  on  with 
the  countless  other  universal  human  tastes  and  instincts. 

The  news  story  is  another  means  of  arousing  interest. 
The  opening  of  the  Panama  Canal,  the  Great  War,  some 
bit  of  local  news  or  trade  news — ^all  these  are  points  of 
contact  with  the  reader's  interest.  For  an  example  we 
may  take  a  letter  written  by  a  manufacturer  of  an  elec- 
trie  motor-controUing  device: 

Dear  Sir: 

I  was  on  board  the  U.  S.  Monitor  "Florida"  when  she  was 
hit  by  a  Whitehead  torpedo  containing  200  pounds  of  gun  cotton. 

**A  ticklish  position,'*  you  sayt 

Not  at  all.  The  water-tight  compartments  of  the  "Florida" 
are  controlled  by  Ajax  Automatic  Switches.  When  the  torpedo 
hit  us,  the  Ajax  Automatic  closed  the  bulkheads.  I  felt  entirely 
safe  and  secure  because  I  knew  the  Ajaz  would  not  fail. 

The  writer  referred  to  a  subject  that  had  had  wide 

publicity.    He  added  a  bit  of  personal  experience,  gave 

his  readers  some  of  the  inside  history  of  an  important 

event.* 

*  This  subject  of  the  news  story  is  treated  more  fuUy  in  a 
separate  chapter.    See  Chapter  XIV. 


An  appeal  ta 
fear  u  al" 
ways  strong 


An  appeal  to 
the  appetite 


Varioui 
human' 
interest 
appeals 


The  news 
story:  it 
gives  the  air 
of  heina 
up'tO'date 


^i'  ' 


78 

Comparing 
the  reader 
toith  other 
people  in 
similar  cir- 
cumstances 


Reaching  the 
reader  by 
touching  on 
one  of  his 
vexing 
problems 


This  tailor 
used  this 
idea 
effectively 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

Again,  the  experiences  of  other  people  placed  in  cir- 
cumstances similar  to  yours,  are  always  interesting.  Fol- 
lowing are  two  examples : 

You  and  Mason  ought  to  compare  notes. 

fi*  ^wi  ^^.^°°  ^^®  "^®^  *^®  ^®^  ^^^^  Herald,  the  Kansas  City 
Btar,  The  Cincinnati  Enquirer,  and  a  hundred  or  more  other  news- 
papers,  weeklies,  and  magazines  for  years,  and  it  would  be  a  big 
r     fta       yo^  "  you  could  get  together  with  him  and  go  over  h& 

Similarly  : 

Would  you  like  to  know  what  B.  H.  Aishton,  vice-president  and 
general  manager  of  the  Chicago  and  Northwestern  Railroad-  ex- 
Governor  Chas.  S.  Deneen;  Dr.  John  DUl  Robertson;  Jos.  E.  Otis, 
vice-president  of  the  Central  Trust  Co.;  Edgar  A.  Bancroft,  gen- 
eral  counsel  for  the  International  Harvester  Co.;  and  a  nimber 
of  other  prominent  Chicago  men  are  doing  to  keep  themselves  in 
fighting  tnm,  both  mentally  and  physically,  every  day! 

Finally,  there  is  no  more  effective  appeal  to  interest 
than  one  that  touches  upon  some  special  problem  or  diflfi- 
culty  that  confronts  the  reader  in  his  own  business,  or 
private  life.  This  beginning  gets  the  interest  of  the 
employing  printer  by  summarizing  many  of  his  troubles : 

•*  ^J^  ^°^^  P^®^  feeders  always  showed  up  on  Monday  morning; 
If  they  were  never  late,  never  got  tired,  never  became  careless, 
never  grumbled  about  working  overtime—you  would  increase  the 
output  of  your  plant,  have  less  trouble,  make  more  money.  That 
18  why  you  will  be  interested  in  the  SpeedweU  Automatic  feeding 
attachment  ^ 

This  is  the  beginning  of  a  letter  sent  out  by  a  tailor: 

With  the  incoming  of  the  warm  weather,  you  face  the  prospect 

%  }T^?}^  ^®^P  ^^^  '^^  ^^  °«^*  eighteen  weeks.    You  already 

w  11^  ^'''*  ^J''^?,  wearing  is  much  too  heavy,  and  realize 

how  much  more  comfortable  you  would  feel  in  one  of  lighter  weight. 

This  letter  presents  a  problem  which  is  in  the  proa- 
pect's  mind,  and  thus  wins  his  interest  Then  the 
writer  continues  with  a  description  of  the  cool  summer 
fabrics  which  he  has  for  sale. 

The  following  letter  was  written  by  a  manufacturer 
of  washing  machines: 

Dear  Madam: 

Why  do  you  continue  the  old-fashioned,  back-breaking  method 
of  washing  clothes,  when  the  HORTON  ELECTRIC  will  save  aU 
that  hard  work  and  bother! 


STARTING  THE  LETTER 

The  HORTON  is  not  expensive— you  can  better  afford  it  than 
sacrifice  your  health  and  strength  over  the  washtub.  Or  if  you 
have  a  wash-woman,  the  HORTON  will  save  two-thirds  of  her 
time,  which  she  can  give  to  your  other  work, — etc. 

Here  the  writer  gets  attention  by  suggesting  a  solu- 
tion for  the  most  vexing  problem  of  the  housewife— the 
Monday  washing. 

There  are,  of  course,  any  number  of  other  ways  to 
create  real  interest— the  kind  of  interest  that  will  carry 
the  reader  through  your  descriptive  paragraphs  and 
lead  him  to  the  favorable  consideration  of  your  proposi- 
tion (page  75).  Appeals  to  the  pocket,  to  business  or 
personal  needs,  to  any  one  of  the  thousand  matters  that 
engage  the  interest  of  the  normal  man — all  these  are 
available.  The  field  from  which  you  may  select  is  as 
broad  as  human  nature  itself,  and  as  varied. 

But  whatever  method  you  choose,  be  sure  that  your 
appeal  is  to  the  reader's  interest.  The  common  error 
is  to  ramble  along  on  a  subject  which  is  of  interest  to 
yourself,  not  to  your  prospective  customer. 

Don't  begin  your  letter  by  talking  about  yourself, 
your  company,  your  business,  your  growth,  your  newly 
invested  capital.  The  reader  has  not  the  faintest  interest 
in  you  or  your  business,  until  he  can  see  some  connec- 
tion between  it  and  his  own  welfare.  By  itself  it  makes 
no  play  whatever  to  his  attention :  it  must  first  be  coupled 
up  with  his  problems  and  needs. 

Begin  by  talking  about  him,  his  company,  his  busi- 
ness, his  needs,  his  ambition.  Touch  upon  some  vital 
need  in  his  business— some  tangle  that  is  worrying  him 
— some  cherished  ambition  that  haunts  him— and  you 
will  have  his  interest.* 

We  have  now  examined  various  specific  means  for 
arousing  the  interest  of  the  reader.  Sometimes,  however, 
interest  is  secured  without  the  use  of  such  devices.  This 
is  especially  true  of  letters  written  to  progressive  busi- 

*For  further  discussion  of  the  "You  Element''  in  its  rela- 
tion to  the  whole  letter,  see  Chapter  XVI. 


79 

A  problem  of 
the  housewife 
is  solved  fiere 


Be  sure  that 
the  appeal  is 
to  the  read- 
er's interest 
— not  yours 


Talk  about 
his  needs 
and  problems 


80 

Letters  which 
need  no 
special 
device  for 
aroueing 
interest 


A  trade 
letter  to  a 
man  in  the 
trade 


Conclusion 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

ness  men  on  matters  concerning  the  conduct  of  their 
business.  Such  men  are  ready  and  eager  to  take  ad- 
vantage of  every  improvement;  they  watch  closely  every 
new  development  in  their  field.  In  writing  to  an  alert 
manufacturer,  for  example,  about  a  new  machine,  a  new 
attachment  for  use  on  his  product,  or  even  a  staple 
material,  immediate  interest  can  be  gained  by  bringing 
to  his  notice  at  once  your  leading  point  of  superiority  and 
explaining  it  tersely  and  attractively. 

If  you  are  writing  to  an  electric  light  man  on  the 
subject  of  a  new  incandescent  lamp  for  use  on  his  lines, 
get  right  down  to  cases: 

Dear  Sir: 

An  efficiency  of  one  watt  per  candle  is  guaranteed  for  the 
Hilight  Lamps,  which  efficiency  is  maintained  through  a  guaran- 
teed life  of  1,000  hours. 

The  attached  report  of  tests  by  the  Electrical  Testing  Labora- 
tories will  give  you  exact,  detailed  and  unprejudiced  information 
on  this  new  unit, — etc. 

In  letters  of  this  sort  the  reader's  interest  is  secured 
by  strong  explanation  or  description  without  the  aid  of 
special  devices.  Whether  or  not  this  method  shall  be 
used  in  any  given  letter  will  depend  upon  the  nature  of 
the  proposition  and  the  class  of  readers.  But  however 
interest  is  aroused,  it  must  be  there,  in  order  that  the 
reader  may  be  induced  to  continue  into  the  descriptive 
paragraphs. 


CHAPTER  Vlir 


EXPLANATION-DESCRIBING 

THE  PRODUCT 


i 


you  have  attracted  attention ;  you  have  won  interest- 
articr^^^hir^^  ir  P^^P^^^i^^  ^r  describe  you; 
easy.    All  one  has  to  do  is  to  tell  about  the  goods  - 

This  sounds  easy,  does  it  not?  One  ha^  but  to  pro- 
duce  a  word-picture  of  a  definite  object  or  explain  teiS 
a  ervice  which  he  offeiu  Yet  there  is  no  ability  C^ 
rare  than  that  of  translating  a  concrete  article  into 
words  so  that  the  reader  can  see  that  article  vividly 
Before  you  can  make  the  reader  see  the  article  you 

anl  \T^%  '''  '"'^^^'  ''^  ^^^  ^'  ^'  from  every 
evetnaS  t  '^  ^"^^^^^^^^  ^^il  you  understand 
every  part.    See  how  it  works,  just  what  it  will  do    But 

IZl^LT!:  "^f  '^r'^^  ^'^^  ^"^^^«  «f  information. 

iUs  and  .  .""^  'r^  ^^^^*  *^^  ^^  ^^*^^i-l^  what 
t  IS,  and  how  It  IS  obtained.    Then  trace  this  material 

through  the  factory    go  in  per^n  if  possible-and  S 

ten. TT  "'f  ^"^  '^'  "^'^'^  ^^  *^e  interesting 
steps  m  IS  manufacture.  All  this  will  give  you  vivid 
detail     hich  will  make  your  description'lifeSe  anj 

tion  all  the  details  thus  gathered,  but  every  one  of  them 


Description 
is  a  difficult 
art 


First,  study 
your  article 
or 

proposition 
thoroughly 


U' 


82 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 


Select  your 

details 

caresfuUy 


For  articles 
oj  common 
use,  concen- 
trate on 
points  of 
superiority 


ThU  letter 
emphasizes 
one  feature 


helps  to  give  you  a  complete  picture  of  the  article.  With- 
out  such  a  thorough  knowledge,  effective  description  is 
impossible.  You  cannot  make  your  reader  see  the  article 
vividly,  if  you  yourself  see  it  vaguely. 

You  are  now  ready  to  begin  your  description.  First, 
you  must  decide  on  what  points  to  select  from  among 
the  many  that  you  have  learned.  The  amount  of  detail 
that  you  need  will  depend  upon  the  extent  of  the  knowl- 
edge which  you  may  presume  your  reader  to  have  of  the 

article. 

If  you  are  selling  something  with  which  the  reader 
may  be  expected  to  be  fairly  familiar,  you  will  naturally 
slteht  the  commonly  known  details  and  concentrate  on 
points  of  superiority,  or  on  essentials.  (In  letters  written 
to  dealers  about  articles  closely  connected  with  their  line 
of  business,  little  detail  is  used.    It  is  in  such  letters  that 
description  is  found  in  its  simplest  form.    Indeed,  if  the 
article  is  a  staple,  no  actual  description  is  usually  needed ; 
a  special  low  price  or  some  other  special  advantage  in 
buying  is  the  only  point  that  is  emphasized.)  If  you  are 
seUing  a  fountain  pen,  you  will  not  need  to  describe  the 
general  construction  or  explain  the  principle  of  opera- 
tion   You  will  perhaps  tell  ineidentaUy  about  the  good 
material  used  in  it,  ite  good  writing  qualities,  etc.— the 
features  that  it  has  in  common  with  other  good  pens- 
but  you  will  emphasize  the  distinctive  points  of  superi- 
ority   One  firm  builds  its  description  about  a  bent  feed- 
stock which  insures  against  leaking.     Another  dwells 
particularly  upon  an  improved  self-fiUing  device. 

Also  in  the  following  letter,  notice  how  the  manu- 
facturer of  a  widely  advertised  breakfast  food  empha- 
sizes one  essential  point-the  quality  of  the  bran-in  sell- 
ing orders  by  mail  to  retail  grocers: 

Morning  Feast  is  made  of  a  special  soft  white  'J?"^  ™»«^  *J 

a  pr"ess  stoilar  to  that  which  is  used  f,  "j^'^S^t^'^^h^e  bran 
tLX  /, :-  ;i^i;/.;««a      Moat  bran  is  hard  and  gntty.     ine  ur»u 


a  process  similar  to  xn&i  wmcu  u.  uo^^  "%^r^  ^*tv     The  bran 
rpiJl  fl«vnr  ia  delicious.    Most  bran  is  hard  and  gntty.     ine  urau 


EXPLANATION  AND  DESCRIPTION 

On  the  other  hand,  if  you  are  introducing  a  new 
article  or  are  writing  to  people  who  you  think  know 
little  about  the  goods  you  are  selling,  you  must  use  more 
detail-you  must  describe  the  construction  more  fully 
and  show  with  greater  minuteness  how  the  article  works 
*or  example: 

♦nrJ^'TfH"*^*  sweeper  has  a  number  of  new  and  novel  fea- 
^^\    i"^'  '  positive-driven,  self  acting  brush  which  Is  acta- 

suction       '  ''^'^  '"^  "^  '="P'^'*y  '^^  "  exceptlonaUy  powerful 

■uUe^heTel^^t-i^atXr'  "^  •"""  "'  '"^^-^  ^ 
^^t.T^epa^^^Z^,t^^J*  th.  machine 

it  in  a  32S  by  itoeU.  ^^^*""^  improvements  which  Vut 

fact  that  It  was  written,  not  to  dealers,  but  to  prospect- 
ive users  who  were,  presumably,  not  very  familiar  with 
electric  sweepers. 

v„„^»."^'Tl*'''  f^"*'**^  P°'"**  ^^'^  y^  description 
you  should  look  at  the  proposition  from  the  user's  stand- 
point and  present  it  in  its  final  relation  to  that  user 
A  clever  haberdasher  never  shows  a  scarf  in  the  box." 
He  takes  it  out  and  with  a  deft  twist  forms  a  four-in- 
hand  oyer  his  finger,  and  the  customer  not  only  sees  the 
^^-'^J°^^\^^<^y%  and  the  play  of  light  over  the 
U  'mi'T^^''''*  sees  it  in  its  relation  to  himself  as 
It  wUl  look  when  worn.    This  should  also  be  the  ikea 

fh  ^*?"  fr  '^*"'"  "*  ''^^  ««  «»e  salesman-to  show 
the  goods  m  their  relation  to  the  customer 


88 


More  detail 
u  needed  for 
lessfamihar 
articles 


Choose  your 
details  from 
the  reader's 
tieiepoint 


84 

Two 

examples  of 
talcing  the 
reader^s 
point  of 
view 


Choose 
details  that 
mil  interest 
your 

particular 
class  of 
readers 


Some 
examples 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 
A  salt  manufacturer  carries  out  this  idea: 

You  know  how  ordinary  table  salt  refuses  to  sift  in  ^^P 
weather,  and  when  dry,  cakes  in  the  saltcellars  like  adamant.  Our 
Xis  dways  dry  and  flaky,  and  it  flowa  freely  on  the  danapest 
^y.  It  dois  not  corrode  the  metal  top  of  a  saltcellar  as  other 
salt  often  does  in  a  moist  atmosphere. 

And  a  maker  of  underwear  also  strikes  home : 

Crown  underwear  lets  your  body  breathe.  A  continuous  cur- 
rent of  fresh  air  passes  through  the  holes  in  the  fabric,  cooling, 
cleaning,  and  stimulating  the  pores  of  the  skin. 

Such  description  wins  interest  and  even  arouses  de- 
sire because  the  reader  feels  its  relation  to  himself. 

Moreover,  the  points  to  be  emphasized  should  be 
chosen  with  reference  to  the  class  of  readers  to  whom  you 
are  writing.  In  the  case  of  articles  of  such  general  use 
as  the  two  represented  above,  the  interests  of  all  readers 
wiU  be  practically  identical.  For  many  articles,  how- 
ever, the  points  of  interest  will  vary  according  to  the 
needs  of  different  classes  of  users. 

For  instance,  a  gasoline  engine  has  certain  features 
that  appeal  to  the  farmer,  others  that  make  it  suitable 
for  the  man  who  wants  to  use  it  in  an  automobile.    In 
writing  to  the  first  class  you  will  dwell  especially  on  such 
points  as  its  adaptability  to  pumping  water  and  grinding 
feed ;  in  a  letter  to  the  other  you  will  emphasize  its  com- 
pactness, lightness,  and  the  speed  which  it  will  develop. 
Again,  suppose  you  are  selling  motor  boats.     For  the 
father  of  several  small  children  who  wants  a  boat  for 
family  use  at  his  summer  house,  safety  is  the  important 
consideration.    For  the  young  man  with  racing  proclivi- 
ties, speed  is  the  prime  requisite.    The  writer  of  success- 
fiU  sales  descriptions  will  keep  these  differences  in  mind, 
and  adapt  his  descriptions  to  the  particular  class  of 
readers  to  whom  he  is  writing. 

Make  the  description  specific.  Vague  generalities 
like  **the  best  on  earth,'*  ** above  competition,"  and 
** secret  process  of  manufacture''  carry  no  conviction. 
Avoid  extravagances,  vain  claims,  and  superlatives.    It 


Make  the 

description 

specific: 

generalities 

mean 

nothing 


EXPLANATION  AND  DESCRIPTION  85 

may  be  true  that  your  product  is  the  ''best  on  earth," 
but  it  will  take  a  good  presentation  of  that  fact  or  a 
specific  explanation  of  at  least  one  point  of  superiority 
to  make  a  stranger  believe  it.  See  the  difference  be- 
tween these  two  descriptions: 

This  tobacco  ia  absolutely  without  question  the  finest  smoking 
tobacco  on  the  market  today.  This  statement  will  be  substantiated 
by  tens  of  thousands  of  smokers. 

Compare  with : 

To  appreciate  the  difference  between  Royal  Mixture  and  the   ^  general 
"others,''  just  put  a  little  of  it  on  a  sheet  of  white  paper  by  the   j^^f,j,ir)tion 
side  of  a  pinch  from  a  package  of  any  other  smoking  tobacco  aescripiwn 
manufactured.    You  won't  need  a  microscope  to  see  the  difference  maae 
in  quality.     Smoke  a  pipeful,  and  you  wiU  quickly  notice  how   specvfic 
different  in  mellowness,  richness  and  natural  flavor  Eoyal  Mixture 
is  from  the  store-bought  kind.     ... 

Eoyal  Mixture  is  all  pure  tobacco,  and  the  cleanest,  best- 
cured  and  finest  leaf  that  the  famous  Piedmont  section  of  North 
Carolina  can  produce. 

The  following  is  another  example  of  weak  descrip- 
tion. It  is  not,  however,  so  hopelessly  general  as  the 
first  one  cited  above,  for  it  has  some  specific  detail : 

Buy  our  hams  once,  and  you  will  buy  them  always.  All  our 
meat  is  from  young  hogs,  and  is  not  tough,  but  is  high  grade. 
Nothing  but  corn-fed  stock  is  used.  We  guarantee  the  quality. 
We  use  good  sugar  in  curing  our  hams,  the  best  quality  of  salt- 
peter, and  some  salt.  The  result  is  a  natural  flavor  that  can 't  be 
beat.    We  challenge  competition. 

But  compare  it  with  the  same  description  rewritten 

with  a  wealth  of  concrete  details : 

This  trade-mark  certifies  that  the  hog  came  f lom  good  stock— 
that  it  was  corn-fed  in  order  that  it  might  be  firm  and  sweet—    AjiQiJi^f 
that  it  was  a  barrow  hog,  so  that  the  meat  would  be  full-flavored  i 

and  juicy— that  it  was  a  young  hog,  making  the  ham  thin-skinned  example 
and  tender — that  it  was  well-conditioned  and  fat,  insuring  the 
lean  of  the  ham  to  be  tasty  and  nutritious.  The  mark  certifies 
that  the  ham  was  cured  in  a  liquor  nearly  good  enough  to  drink, 
made  of  granulated  sugar,  pure  saltpeter,  and  only  a  very  little 
salt;  this  brings  out  all  the  fine,  rich,  natural  flavor  of  the  care- 
fully selected  meat,  and  preserves  it  without  salty  pickling. 

Clothe  your  description  in  attractive  and  original 

phraseology.  Avoid  worn-out,  colorless  expressions ;  seek 

for  those  that  are  new  and  striking.    For  example,  two 

writers,  in  letters  selling  acetylene  gas  plants,  wish  to 


< 


86 

Use 

attractive 
and  original 
phraseology 


A  new  way 
to  express 
an  old  idea 


i    :  i 


A  "rtfresh- 
ing"  descrip- 
tion 


mi 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

explain  that  the  gas  is  harmless.  One  makes  the  obvious 
and  commonplace  statement:  ** Acetylene  gas  is  harm- 
less, and  may  be  breathed  without  injury."  The  other 
is  more  original;  he  writes: 

Tour  home  paper  win  print  your  obituary  in  the  next  issue— 
rf  you  ever  ''blow  out  the  gas''  when  you  visit  your  cousin  in  the 
city.    But  when  your  city  cousin  comes  to  your  country  home,  he 

SV'iaThe' it  aTnighf'^^^  ^  ^^'^  *°^  ''  "^^  '*  ^"^  ^^  *  ^'* 

Which  statement  drives  home  the  point  ?  Which  is 
more  likely  to  make  you  buy  1 

Again  take  so  simple  a  tool  as  a  tap.  All  one  can 
say  about  it,  apparently,  is  that  it  is  well  made  of  the 
best  steel,  and  carefully  tempered.  Everybody  who  ever 
wrote  a  letter  on  these  tools  said  the  same  thing  in  the 
same  words,  until  a  New  England  manufacturer  tried  his 
hand.    In  describing  the  goods  he  said : 

You  could  forge' a  first  class  razor  from  one  of  our  taps,  and 
the  razor  would  cut  smooth  and  clean  for  the  same  reason  that 
the  tap  does— 'twould  have  the  right  stuff  in  it 

He  does  not  say  that  his  tap  is  made  from  razor  steel 
(that  would  be  commonplace),  but  that  you  could  make 
a  razor  from  one  of  his  taps  (this  is  distinctive).  And 
then  instead  of  a  lot  of  hackneyed  phrases  designed  to 
convince  the  reader  that  this  steel  is  the  best  on  earth, 
he  states  succinctly  that  his  tap  has  ''the  right  stuff  in 
it. "  He  simply  takes  a  fresh  viewpoint— has  the  courage 
to  use  unexpected  words. 

Likewise,  a  real  estate  promoter  might  have  said: 
''This  suburb  is  supplied  with  pure,  cold  water  from  a 
spring.*'    Instead,  this  promoter  wrote: 

Prwh  Spring  Water,  so  pure  and  delicious  that  it  is  bottled 
and  sold,  is  piped  through  aU  the  streets.  Just  think  of  that  aj 
compared  with  having  to  buy  your  table  water,  or  to  drink  Croton 
water  unsatisfactorily  filtered! 

Sometimes  whole  paragraphs  of  description  may  be 
crystallized  into  a  single  suggestion  of  comparison ;  thus : 

The  Bell  refrigerator  is  as  finely  finished  as  the  most  expensive 
piano.  ^ 


EXPLANATION  AND  DESCRIPTION 

A  furniture  maker  ^ves  me  a  distinct  impression  of 
the  quality  of  his  goods  when  he  says : 

There  is  as  much  difference  between  the  oak  used  in  ordinary 
furniture  and  the  selected  quarter-sawed  white  oak  we  use  in  ours, 
as  there  is  between  laundry  soap  and  a  cake  of  scented  Pears. 

And  still  another  puts  a  wealth  of  suggestion  into  his 

letter  by  saying: 

Nothing  will  effectually  take  the  place  of  the  good  old  cedar 
chest,  with  its  clean,  sweet,  pungent  aroma  so  dear  to  the  heart  of 
the  old-fashioned  housewife. 


87 

Effective 
description 
by  means  of 
suggestion 


Value  of 

descriptive 

enclosures 


Sometimes  descriptive  enclosures,  such  as  circulars, 
leaflets,  sheets  of  specifications,  and  samples,  are  used 
to  help  in  describing  the  article.  Samples  are  always  a 
valuable  aid  to  description:  they  enable  the  reader 
actually  to  see  and  handle  parts  of  the  article.  Wher- 
ever possible,  all  these  enclosures  should  be  small  enough 
to  enclose  in  the  same  envelope  with  the  letter,  for  then 
the  reader  can  refer  to  them  while  the  interest  aroused 
by  the  letter  is  at  its  height. 

Frequently,  most  of  the  description  is  given  in  a  cir- 
cular or  leaflet.  Indeed,  when  the  description  is  com- 
plicated and  requires  many  details,  it  should  always  be 
placed  there,  and  not  in  the  letter  itself.  Then  an  illus- 
tration or  diagram  may  be  used  to  give  a  more  definite 
picture.  But  even  when  this  is  done,  the  letter  should 
describe  briefly  one  or  two  of  the  more  important  features 
of  the  article,  and  should  definitely  call  the  attention  of 
the  reader  to  the  circular.  In  your  letter  concentrate  on 
getting  the  reader  interested  in  these  essential  pointa 
Do  that,  and  you  may  depend  upon  his  going  to  the  cir- 
cular  for  details. 

Finally,  it  must  be  remembered  that  the  object  of  Conclusum 
every  sales-letter  description  is  to  make  the  reader  both 
understand  and  desire  the  goods.  It  is  not  enough  merely 
to  tell  about  what  you  have  for  sale.  You  must  tell  it  in 
a  sales-making  manner.  Make  the  reader  see  the  article 
clearly,  and  make  him  see  it  in  relation  to  his  needs. 


CHAPTER  IX 


PROVING  YOUR  CLAIMS 


Every  sales 
claim  in  a 
letter  must  he 
proved 


A  free  trial 
is  convincing 
proof 


I T  IS  a  principle  in  law  that  a  man  is  innocent  until 
*  proved  ^Ity.  It  is  a  principle  in  business  that  a 
sales  claim  is  false  or  exaggerated  until  it  is  proved  con- 
servative and  true.  In  either  event,  the  work  of  proving 
a  case  is  a  hard  one,  and  caUs  for  keen  thought  and 
a  wide  knowledge  of  human  nature. 

Cold,  hard  logic,  and  cold,  hard  facts— these  alone 
will  win.  **Brag"  and  rash  claims  will  spell  failure. 

When  you  have  explained  your  proposition  in  a  sales 
letter,  you  must  prove  your  words.  It  is  not  enough  to 
express  your  own  personal  convictions;  it  is  not  enough 
to  give  hearsay  evidence  or  second-hand  testimonials. 
You  must  prove  your  claims,  and  quickly. 

Of  course,  many  times  the  only  way  to  prove  that  an 
article  is  all  that  you  say  it  is,  is  for  me  to  get  it  and 
try  It.  Suppose  I  am  thinking  of  buying  a  mattress  and 
the  dealer  writes  to  me : 

fnrth^^n^*"r^  ""?  ?T/  °'^*'  P*^^»  ««*  ^a^d  w  lumpy,  and 
IT^TT'  '\'^  ,f ^solutely  non-absorbent,  dust-proof,  vermL. 
proof,  and  practically  un-wear-out-able.  r       ,        uxxu 

Now  if  all  this  is  true,  that  is  the  kind  of  mattress  I 
want ;  and  to  prove  to  me  that  these  claims  are  true,  the 
writer  goes  on  to  say : 


ARGUMENT  AND  PROOF 

^Uemember,  we  seU  on  the  complete  understanding  that  if  the 
mattress  is  not  perfectly  satisfactory,  it  can  be  retwned  at  our 
expense,  and  your  money  wiU  be  promptly  refunded. 

I  reason  instantly  that  if  the  writer  of  that  letter 
wasn^t  able  to  prove  his  arguments  by  delivering  the 
goods  as  exploited,  he  would  never  dare  to  make  an 
offer  like  this.  I  know  from  experience  that  a  plain, 
hard-hitting  talk  like  this  means  truth. 

Similar  proof  is  offered  in  the  following  : 

«,a^?no''**i*  *?^  *H*  because  the  price  is  small,  my  cigars  are 
ri  .nJt''^^?K  ""^  i^^^'^P  ^^^''*»-  ^^^«^  a  sample  100,  cut 
Tln7in  %°n  *^r  !j;o"^  end  to  end,  and  if  the  leaves  are  not 
all  good  long  filler,  I  will  refund  your  money. 

A  maker  of  refrigerators  proves  that  his  goods  are 
quality  stock,  too,  when  he  says: 

If  I  could  only  take  you  through  our  factory  so  you  could  see 
what  goes  into  the  ''Morton^'  and  how  it  is  put  in~tiie  care  and 

l^ZZfff.-l'rf'  ^  l^'llS^^^'or  that  wil?last  a  Uf et  me!  you 
would  not  hesitate  to  make  the  investment. 

^  This  is  not  absolute  proof,  but  it  is  convincing,  for 
It  makes  the  reader  feel  that  the  manufacturer  is  willing 
to  have  him  come  to  the  factory,  and  he  is  therefore 
ready  to  believe  that  if  he  did  go,  he  would  find  the  con- 
ditions just  as  described. 

A  varnish  manufacturer  sends  along  a  sample  panel 
finished  with  his  varnish,  and  writes: 


89 

Money  hack 
if  trial  is  UH' 
satisfactory 


An  indirect 
proof 


Give  this  panel  the  most  thorough  test  possible—stamD  on  it 
You  IT^fZf'fu^  ^.^  "  ^r^^V  '^^^^  hold  VS'Z  light 
h^n^t  b^n%*rtkeT'"^'  ^'"  '^^^  ''**°*^'  *^«  ^''^'  *^«  ---^ 

A  paper  manufacturer  is  even  more  successful  when 
he  says: 

Yon  can  prove  the  excellence  of  our  word  in  a  second-  in«f 
D^^^se^tT/tL^"^.  ^^^  '^"^^'^  *^«°  ^^  a  comer  off  ^e  of*  your 
C^o^*^You  fiLT  ^1"  ^^y'^S  glaas  and  exaUe  Ch 

J'o™  sIsTibJrie^t!  woo  V^  ^'^^^'^-^'^  «""'  -^^«  - 

The  man  who  reads  this  learns  something  new  about 
paper.  He  learns  how  to  judge  it  intelligently-and  in 
doing  this,  he  learns  what  the  writer  wished  him  to 
know  about  his  bond. 


Proof 
furnished 
hy  samples 
enclosed 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 


Proefwitu 

atUntionand 

itiUrest 


Pertutuionr-' 
wUnimum  cost 


I 
f 


,. 


Pernuuion — 

opportunity 

pwturti 


Dear  Mr.  Hunt: 

There's  a  bank  here  in  Chicago 

—  not  much  larger  than  yours  — 
that  secured  over  280  new  savings 
depositors  last  month 1  And  secured 
them,  mind  you,  on  the  sole  strength 
of  business-getting  circular  letters 

—  without  the  aid  of  a  single  per- 
sonal solicitor. 

That's  why  this  letter  is  as 
vital  to  you  as  though  it  were  a  cer- 
tified check.  For  it  tells  about  a 
concise,  WONDERFULLY  PRACTICAL  little 
book  that  will  show  you  how  to  write 
the  same  kind  of  letters  that  brought 
this  business  for  the  Chicago  bank 

—  and  how  you  cam  get  this  same 
book  for  less  than  you  often  pay  for 
a  mere  hajidful  of  good  cigars. 

Think  of  the  hundreds  of  money, 
earners  — the  thrifty,  ambitious 
young  men  and  women,  right  in  your 
own  immediate  locality  —  who  ought 
to  open  up  savings  accounts.  If  you 
had  them  all  together  in  your  private 
office  —  where  you  could  talk  to 
them  as  man  to  man  —  it  would  -be  no 
trick  to  secure  a  big  proportion  of 
them. 


MAKING  YOUR  LETTER  CONVINCE  THE  PROSPECT 

In  this  strong  and  convincing  letter  persuasion  and  proof  prevail  from  the 
opening  sentence  through  to  the  clinching  close.  The  letter  talks  straight  out,  like 
a  salesman  on  the  firing-line.  Proof  is  offered  at  the  start,  and  interest  held 
largely  by  showing  how  somebody  else  has  solved  your  problem.    By  looking  into 


::hi|i 


ARGUMENT  AND  PROOF 


Of  course,  you  can't  do  this. 
But  why  not  do  as  the  Royal  Trust 
Company  did?  Why  not  go  to  THEM? 
Why  not  put  before  them  the  strong 
advantages  your  bank  offers,  through 
sincere,  heart-to-heart,  straight- 
from-the-shoulder  letters  — '•  letters 
that  breathe  the  same  ENTHUSIASM, 
the  same  earnestness  and  personality 
that  you  yourself  would  use  in  a 
personal  talk? 

That  is  just  what  this  book 
will  show  you  how  to  do,  because  it 

gives  you  plain,  simple,  practical 
ints  on  the  every-day  use  of  words 
and  live  vital  principles  underlying 
the  art  of  convincing  writing. 

And  mind  you,  this  banker's 
collection  course  in  business  English 
•—  boiled  down  to  pigeon-hole  size 
—  costs  less  than  a  couple  of  the- 
atre tickets.  $2  brings  the  book 
to  your  own  desk  —  and  if  you  do 
not  feel  that  it  is  worth  at  least 
half  a  dozen  times  this  amount,  you 
can  have  your  money  back  for  the 
Sf?f}"?-  Simply  wrap  a  two  dollar 
Dill  in  this  letter  and  mail  today. 

Yours  very  truly. 


m 


91 


Proof  and 
pernuaion 


Method 
explained 


ExplancAion 


Indtu^ment  and 
proof 


Clindur 


II 


the  problem  from  the  reader's  point  of  view,  the  writer  arouses  interest^  and  drives 
home  his  argument  with  conviction.  When  proof,  persuasion,  explanation  and 
inducement  are  combined  with  the  sincerity  and  enthusiasm  apparent  in  this  letter, 
the  prospect  is  carried  word  by  word  to  the  end  of  what  at  first  may  look  like  a 
lengthy  communication.  This  letter  waa  unusually  successful  in  bringing  in 
business  for  a  publishing  house. 


92 

Simple  testa 
suggested  as 
proof 


Proof  by 
reference  to 
authorities 


Scientific 
proof 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

Similarly,  a  paint  manufacturer  encloses  with  his 
sales  letter  a  small  folder  showing  how  to  test  the  purity 
of  paint;  a  clothing  manufacturer  explains  how  to  dis- 
tinguish all-wool  goods  from  the  half-cotton  product 
offered  in  substitution;  a  maker  of  acetylene  gas  light- 
ing outfits  proves  the  simplicity  and  safety  of  this  gas — 
which  is  popularly  supposed  to  be  dangerous  in  the  ex- 
treme— ^by  describing  how  anyone  may  make  acetylene 
gas  with  an  ordinary  tumbler  and  common  clay  pipe. 
Such  proof,  sometimes  applied  in  a  most  indirect  man- 
ner, is  wholly  convincing.  Not  the  least  part  of  its  value 
lies  in  the  fact  that  it  is  instructive.  The  reader  feels 
that  he  is  learning  a  trick  of  the  other  man*s  trade. 

Another  simple  expedient  is  referring  for  corrobora- 
tion to  standard  works  of  reference,  to  friends  of  the 
reader,  or  to  specialists  in  any  line.  **As  any  chemist 
will  tell  you,'*  is  effective.  Or  we  may  say:  ** Consult 
your  banker  as  to  the  solid  value  of  these  bonds :  he  may 
have  others  he  would  prefer  to  sell  you,  but  he  will  not 
fail  to  endorse  these.'*  Nine  times  in  ten  the  reader  will 
never  carry  the  matter  further;  he  accepts  your  state- 
ment merely  because  you  are  willing  he  should  take  dis- 
interested advice. 

A  well-known  glass  company  which  manufactures 
scientific  reflectors  for  all  classes  of  interior  lighting  uses 
photometric  curves,  prepared  by  the  most  eminent  inde- 
pendent authority,  to  establish  its  claims.  Perhaps  not 
half  of  those  who  receive  this  evidence  are  able  to  read 
or  understand  a  photometric  curve,  but  the  very  fact  that 
impartial  evidence  is  offered  as  proof  iS  enough  to  win 
the  prospective  customer's  confidence. 

Direct  and  complete  testimonials  are  also  strong 
proof,  but  the  use  of  these  by  patent  medicine  adver- 
tisers, and  the  numerous  stories  current  as  to  the  trickery 
and  unfair  means  used  to  secure  them,  make  the  testi- 
monial a  two-edged  weapon  which  must  be  handled  skil- 
fully to  be  effective. 


t* :     ' 


ARGUMENT  AND  PROOF 


93 


A  testimonial  in  which  names  and  addresses  are 
omitted  is  prima  facie  evidence  of  insincerity— or  worse. 
For  instance,  the  writer  who  refers  to  "A  well-known 
lawyer  in  this  city,  whose  name  we  are  not  permitted  to 
use  "  invites  suspicion.    On  the  other  hand, 

'*'John  Hays  Smith,  publisher  of  the  Age,  138  West 
42nd  St.,  New  York,  says:"  is  sincere. 

**We  are  permitted  to  quote  the  following  from  a 
letter  by  Mrs.  Albert  Ross,  president  of  the  Woman's 
League,  462  Woodward  Ave.,  Detroit,"  rings  true. 

The  name  should  be  well  known ;  the  title,  if  any, 
expressed  at  length ;  the  addresses  given  in  full. 

Also  the  testimonial  that  carries  conviction  must  be 
specific  in  its  statements.  One  that  merely  says,  *'I  am 
very  much  pleased  with  your  machine, ' '  has  little  weight ; 
but  one  that  testifies,  *'By  installing  your  system  of 
lighting,  we  saved  a  thousand  dollars  in  one  year,"  gives 
convincing  evidence  of  value. 

Similar  to  the  testimonial  is  the  reference  to  an 
order  from  a  prominent  firm.  The  announcement  that 
**  Marshall  Field  &  Company  have  just  purchased 
twenty-five  more  of  our  adding  machines,"  backs  up  the 
quality  of  the  goods  with  all  of  that  firm's  reputation 
for  using  efficient  equipment. 

Another  variation  of  the  direct  testimonial  is  the 
list  of  satisfied  users.  Such  a  list,  especially  if  it  is  made 
up  of  names  of  well-known  people,  is  valuable  proof. 

Obviously,  some  kinds  of  proof  cannot  be  made  a 
part  of  the  letter  itself.  Long  testimonials,  or  a  number 
of  them,  extensive  citations  of  expert  opinion,  or  any 
device  that  requires  much  space  should  be  given  in  an 
enclosed  circular  or  leaflet.  When  this  is  done,  how- 
ever,  the  letter  itself  should  be  connected  up  with  the 
enclosure  by  definite  reference  to  the  most  important 

points.  ,     J.    1  XX 

Finally,  one  of  the  best  proofs  of  the  truth  of  a  letter 
is  the  tone  of  sincerity  which  pervades  it.    A  letter  will 


Testi^ 
menials: 
their  use 
and  misuse 


I 


Modified 
forms  of 
testimonials 


Proof 

presented  in 
enclosures 


Ill 


A  tone  of 
nncerUy  U 
ayaluable 
aid  to  proof 


Cause  of 

insincerUy 

intone 


The  remedy: 
how  to  make 
your  letter 
sincere 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

get  returns  if  it  is  sincere,  and  these  returns  wiU  be 

permanent.    But  a  letter  of  half-truths,  a  letter  which 

betrays  your  unbelief  or  evidences  your  effort  to  befoir 

or  mislead  your  reader,  will  produce  nothing  but  trouble 

It  may  bring  results,  but  not  the  kind  of  resulte  that 

90  and  91  is  the  kind  that  brings  the  results  a  firm  do^^ 
want. 

Lack  of  sincerity  in  a  letter  does  not  necessarily  arirue 
dishonesty  in  the  writer.  Rather,  it  indicates  a  wronL 
point  of  view  toward  the  trade.  We  form  the  habit 
of  Taewing  our  customers  in  the  mass  instead  of  as  in- 
dividuals. In  the  petty  annoyances  of  daUy  detail  we 
grow  impatient  of  their  seeming  stupidity,  their  m'ean- 
nes^  their  constant  complaints,  their  attempt*  to  take 
small  advantages.  And  then,  when  we  sit  down  to  write 
a  letter,  we  address  a  composite  being  having  Hiese  un- 
welcome  characteristics. 

For  myself,  the  only  sure  guide  for  writing  a  sincere 
and  effectave  letter  is  to  picture  it  as  going  to  some 
shrewd  kindly,  wise,  David  Harum  sort  of  individual 
wh<«e  keen  insight  tests  every  word  and  statement  by 
the  light  of  long  experience.    I  know  that  evasions  and 
twisted  half-truths  will  not  escape  the  eye  of  that  man 
Try  this  plan  for  yourself.    Think  of  this  man  as 
youwntft    Try  to  convince  him.    And  as  you  hope  to  do 
that,  make  your  letter  sincere.    Be  honest    Be  frank. 
Be  straightforward-above-board-guileless.    Prom  the 
date-line  at  the  top  of  your  letter  to  the  stenographer's 
hieroglyphics  at  the  bottom,  let  every  word,  phrase,  sen- 
tence, and  paragraph  impress  your  reader  as  beins 
whoUy  and  unreservedly  "on  the  level" 


CHAPTER  X 


PERSUADING  THE  PROSPECT 

TO  BUY 


You  have  now  given  proof  of  the  qualify  of  your 
article  and  of  the  benefit  which  other  men  have 
derived  from  owning  it  and  using  it.    This,  however,  is 
not  enough  to  make  the  reader  feel  that  he  ought  to  own 
it     Suppose,  for  example,  that  you  are  trying  to  seU 
him  an  automatic  revolver.    He  may  agree  that  it  is  an 
exeeUent  weapon,  and  he  may  trust  the  statements  of 
a  dozen  men  that  they  would  not  be  without  it.    It,  How- 
ever he  has  never  been  in  a  position  where  be  needed  a 
revolver  and  does  not  anticipate  being  in  such  a  position, 
he  has  no  desire  to  own  one.    You  must  make  him  see 
that  he  does  need  this  weapon,  that  it  is  carel^ness  or 
folly  not  to  have  it.    When  you  thus  bring  it  mto  re^- 
tion  to  his  own  needs,  he  is  ready  to  buy.    To  make  the 
reader  see  his  need  of  the  article  you  are  offering-to 
make  him  want  to  own  it^is  the  purpose  of  persuasion 

in  the  sales  letter.  ,        *  j 

Persuasion  is  of  two  types:  first,  exhortation;  and 
second,  a  convincing  presentation  of  the  benefits  to  be 
derived  from  the  possession  of  the  article.  The  first  type 
should  be  used  sparingly,  and  in  some  lines  of  busmess 
is  almost  never  employed.  The  second  type  is  a  promi- 
nent element  in  every  successful  sales  letter.    It  per- 


Perstuufion 
thotosthe 
reader  hi* 
need  for  ^ 
your  article 


TtDO  tyj>es  o/ 
persuasion 


% 


II 


First  type: 
exhortation 
— too  inti' 
mate  for 
general  use 


The  effect  of 
the  wrong 
use  of 
exhortation 


Exhortation 
must  be 
tactfully 
worded  and 
sparingly 
used 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

vades  the  whole  letter:  it  is  the  keynote  of  the  interest- 
arousing  device ;  it  directs  the  choice  of  points  in  the 
description;  and  it  is  behind  the  special  inducement. 
In  addition,  a  separate  paragraph  of  direct  persuasion 
IS  sometimes  added ;  but  this  is  not  always  necessary. 

TJie  use  of  persuasion  by  exhortation  involves  a  cer- 
tarn  intimacy  at  which  it  is  difficult  to  arrive  in  business 
Before  we  dare  employ  it,  we  must  know  that  our  standi 
mg  with  our  prospective  customer  is  such  that  he  will 
not  resent  our  placing  a  paternal  hand  on  his  knee  and 
talking  to  him  -for  his  own  good.-  Unless  we  have 
attained  this  degree  of  intimacy,  exhortation  is  likely  to 
prove  a  dangerous  weapon. 

Nothing  is  better  calculated  to  stir  the  ire  and  call 
forth  the  contempt  of  a  big,  busy,  self-sufficient  business 
man  than  to  be  asked,  -Can  you  afford  to  be  without 
this  great  boon  another  day?''  -Will  you  let  your 
prejudice  stand  between  you  and  future  wealth  ?''-^nd 
similar  exhortation.  Nothing  will  so  quickly  freeze  your 
prospective  client  into  glacial  indifference  as,  -Will  your 
stockholders  approve  of  your  rejecting  this  dividend- 
producing  offer?-  Yet  these  phrases  and  dozens  of 
the  same  sort  have  been  used,  and  used  by  men  whose 
familiarity  with  their  own  work  has  allowed  them  to 
become  familiar  with  their  customers. 

When  tactfully  worded,  and  employed  in  the  right 
place,  exhortation  has  its  legitimate  use.  -Can  you 
afford  to  permit  a  competitor  to  gain  control  of  this 
profitable  line?-  is  persuasion  to  a  merchant.  -Cer- 
tainly  your  boy  should  have  the  best !  -  is  a  strong  appeal 
to  a  mother.  On  the  other  hand,  to  tell  a  man  that  he 
IS  damagmg  his  business  by  ignoring  your  offer,  or  to  tell 
a  woman  that  she  is  not  treating  her  offspring  right  by 
refusmg  to  equip  them  at  Jones'  Emporium,  may  be 
untrue,  and  certainly  is  lacking  in  tact. 

But  use  it  sparingly  always-and  remember  that  in 
some  lines  of  business  it  has  no  place  at  aU.    Insurance, 


Second  type: 
showing  the 
prospect  how 
he  will  he 
benefited 


PERSUASION  97 

business  instruction,  banking  by  mail,  building  and 
loan  propositions,  and  other  lines  where  the  prosperity 
and  comfort  of  clients  are  at  issue,  lend  themselves  to 
sale  by  exhortation.  Commodities  of  daily  business  are 
best  presented  without  it. 

The  second  type  of  persuasion  is  more  effective.  It 
endeavors  to  present  the  proposition  to  the  customer  in 
such  an  alluring  way  that  he  wants  to  take  advantage  of 
your  offer.  It  tactfully  points  out  the  benefits  which  he 
will  derive  from  it,  the  gain  that  will  be  his;  and  shows 
just  how  the  proposition  is  adapted  to  his  particular 
needs.  A  good  example  is  shown  on  page  98.  Notice  the 
contrast  with  the  letter  on  page  99.  Such  persuasion 
appears  in  some  form  in  every  sales  letter. 

Here  is  the  way  a  business  school  uses  this  type : 

Think  of  those  times  when  you  have  yearned  for  a  future — 
when  you  have  grown  impatient  with  the  barriers  that  seem  to 
hold  you  down  to  such  a  narrow  sphere  of  life — ^when  you  hear  of 
the  career  of  some  acquaintance  whom  you  know  to  be  no  more 
capable  than  you.    It  is  a  matter  of  developed  opportunity. 

Our  instruction  perfects  you  in  a  profession  that  is  golden 
with  opportunity.  It  fits  you  for  success  anywhere.  Would  you 
like  to  make  your  residence  in  busy,  cosmopolitan  New  Yorkt 
Would  you  like  to  live  in  some  quaint  old  southern  town  like  New 
Orleans?  Would  you  like  some  bustling  western  city  like  Kansas 
City  or  San  Francisco?  Would  you  like  to  live  in  a  quiet  old 
national  capital — ^Washington  ? 

The  profession  we  will  train  you  for,  will  enable  you  to 
choose  your  own  location — there  is  unlimited  demand  for  it  every- 
where. Will  you  not  let  me  show  you  how  you  may  reach  out 
and  grasp  this  opportunity? 

Another  business  school  also  got  this  idea  when  it 

wrote: 

Nearly  every  man  can  look  back — and  not  so  far  back  either 

for  most  of  us — and  say,  *  *  If  I  had  taken  that  chance,  I  would  be  These  show 

much  better  off  now.*'    That  is  what  you  will  say  some  day  not  |7^^-,,-/^L 

far  off,  if  you  fail  to  consider  seriously  what  we  have  offered  you  «*^y«^"'"^'2f 

in  our  law  courses,  for  our  proposition  means  just  what  I  have  "^^  the 

said — a  bigger  earning  capacity,  a  better  position  and  standing,  reader  wiU 

and  brighter  prospects  in  life.  gain 

The  preceding  illustrations  name  definitely  the  bene- 
fits to  be  derived  by  the  reader  from  the  proposition 
offered  in  the  letter.     Sometimes  only  a  suggestion  of 


Two 

examples 
from  letters 
of  business 
schools 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 


Urges  earful 
reading  cf 
catalogue 


inter eH 


Pemuuion 


Indueement 


Clinehef 


14  f 


L 


Dear  Sir: 

Put  a  Silver-side  Cemoe  through  any 
test  that  you  wish,  and  it  will  live  up  to 
your  expectations.  Pick  out  any  oanoe  you 
like  from  the  enclosed  catalogue  and  get 
your  share  of  the  canoeing  fun.  Don't  miss 
a  day.  Silver-side  Canoes  are  built  for 
service  and  pleasure. 

They  take  to  the  waters  where  they  are 
used.  Just  like  a  duck.  Experienced 
fishermen,  hunters,  guides,  and  scouts 
require  Silver-side  Canoes  for  their  ex- 
cursions, because  the  selection  of  their 
equipment  is  never  left  to  chance  and  they 
know  that  a  Silver-side  Canoe  never  balks. 

With  a  canoe  you  can  enjoy  the  water- 
ways near  your  home,  and  get  the  boon  of 
health  and  recreation  which  nature  mesins 
that  all  of  us  shall  have.  Canoeing  takes 
you  out  into  the  great  open  air  and  brings 
you  back  refreshed  and  eager  to  go  again. 

Silver-side  C£Lnoes  are  low-priced,  and 
they  will  last  for  years.  Their  first  cost 
gives  you  an   outfit  ready  for  use  and  with 
no  further  expense.  Remember,  we  pay  the 
freight  this  side  of  Denver. 

Buy  now  and  lose  no  time  when  the  sea- 
son opens.  We  ship  the  day  the  order  reaches 
us,  and  the  railroads  can  now  deliver  with 
unusual  speed.  We  have  had  long  experience 
in  making  and  using  canoes;  so  if  you  are 
undecided  which  style  of  canoe  to  choose, 
write  to  us  on  the  enclosed  blank  for 
suggestions. 

Yours  truly. 


PERSUASION  THAT  WINS  PROMPT  ACTION 

Here  is  a  good  reply  to  an  inquiry.  It  is  calculated  to  win  the  inquirer's 
personal  interest  and  prompt  his  immediate  action,  by  an  attractive  presentation 
of  the  pleasures  of  canoeing,  and  the  superior  quality  of  the  Silver-side  canoe. 
This  makes  a  strong  persuasive  appeal. 


V 


/ 


PERSUASION 


Dear  Sir: 

Agreeable  to  your  recent 
request  for  a  catalogue  of  our 
school  and  information  regard- 
ing our  business  courses,  we 
wish  to  state  that  under  separate 
cover  we  are  mailing  you  a  copy 
of  our  latest  catalogue,  in 
which  you  will  find  complete 
description  of  what  we  have  to 
offer.  We  hope  that  after  read- 
ing this,  you  will  decide  to 
enroll  with  us. 

Holding  ourselves  at  your 
disposal  for  any  additional  in- 
formation you  may  require,  and 
thanking  you  for  the  inquiry, 
we  trust  to  have  an  acknowledg- 
ment from  you  on  receipt  of  the 
catalogue  in  order  to  know  that 
it  reached  you  safely,  and 
awaiting  your  further  commands, 
we  remain 

Very  truly  yours. 


Tooformal 


Laekeealee 
value 


Prompteno 
aduw 


WHY  A  SALES  LETTER  OFTEN  MISSES  THE  MARK 

This  is  an  actual  letter  of  the  type  too  often  used  in  replying  to  an  inquiry. 
Here  the  prospect  is  merely  referred  to  the  catalogue,  and  the  letter  serves  only 
aa  a  too  formal  acknowledgment,  absolutely  wanting  in  sales  value.  Commonplace 
phrases  and  words  serve  only  to  make  the  letter  more  objectionable. 


!! 


« 


m 


U 


100 


A  suggestion 
of  benefits 
is  often 
effective 


Examples  of 
persuasion 
by  sugges' 
iion 


Frequently, 
persuasion 
is  combined 
with  other 
elements 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

these  benefits  furnishes  sufficient  persuasion.  A  promi* 
nent  ladies'  tailor  used  this  idea  effectively  when  he 
wrote: 

I  ain  sure,  madam,  that  if  you  could  see  yourself  in  one  of 
these  suits,  you  would  acknowledge  its  perfect  fit  and  exceptional 
finish. 

Here  is  only  a  suggestion.  The  active  persuasion  is 
left  to  the  imagination,  which,  picturing  a  desirable 
result,  can  be  counted  upon  to  overcome  the  objections 
of  the  reader. 

A  watch  manufacturer  makes  good  use  of  suggestion 
in  this  way: 

You  probably  do  not  buy  a  watch  with  the  idea  of  selling 
it  again;  yet  that  is  a  pretty  good  test  of  value.  If  you  want  to 
know  the  standing  of ,  try  to  buy  one  at  second  hand. 

Another  case  is  that  of  a  piano  agency  which  has 
done  a  large  business  in  the  East,  chiefly  through  sales- 
letters  written  by  the  head  of  the  firm.  One  argument 
presented  was: 

Talk  this  proposition  over  with  your  husband.  As  a  business 
man,  he  will  be  able  to  guide  you  in  business  matters.  The  choice 
of  the  instrument  can  be  left  to  you  safely. 

For  letters  in  some  lines  of  business  these  separate 
paragraphs  of  persuasion,  even  of  the  suggestive  form, 
are  too  familiar.  In  such  cases  the  persuasive  appeal 
must  be  kept  in  the  background  and  brought  in  inci- 
dentally by  combining  it  with  the  other  elements  of  the 
letter.  For  example,  the  beginning  of  the  letter  which 
states  the  troubles  of  the  employing  printer  (see  p.  78) 
not  only  arouses  his  interest  but  also  suggests  his  need 
of  the  remedy  which  the  letter  offers— that  is,  it  con- 
tains the  element  of  persuasion.  So  does  the  beginning 
given  on  p.  73:  **YouVe  got  to  have  more  money." 
We  have  also  seen  that  we  choose  the  points  in  our 
description  from  the  standpoint  of  the  reader's  needs 
(see  p.  83).  That  also  is  persuasion  disguised  as  a 
part  of  description.  Likewise,  the  special  inducement 
which  will  be  discussed  in  the  next  chapter,  gathers  up 


V' 


PERSUASION 

and  reinforces  all  the  persuasive  appeals  in  the  letter, 
and  seeks  to  turn  them  into  immediate  action. 

Thus,  persuasion  is  an  essential  element  in  every 
sales  letter.  Sometimes  exhortation  is  effective,  but  it 
is  too  familiar  and  intimate  in  tone  for  frequent  or  uni- 
versal use.  Persuasion  of  the  second  type— that  which 
makes  the  reader  realize  his  need  of  the  article— is 
always  present.  In  some  letters  a  separate  paragraph 
is  devoted  to  it,  but  this  method  also  is  often  too  familiar. 
In  such  a  case  the  persuasion  is  combined  with  the  other 
elements.  No  definite  rule  can  be  given  to  guide  the 
writer  in  his  choice  of  the  method  to  use.  He  must 
decide  according  to  the  conditions  involved  in  each  in- 
dividual case.  But  before  using  the  more  intimate 
forms,  he  should  be  sure  that  his  relations  with  the 
reader  warrant  such  familiarity.  Persuasion  should 
never  be  made  intrusive ;  the  reader  should  not  be  made 
to  feel  that  the  writer  is  trying  to  force  him  to  act. 

This  chapter  may  fittingly  be  concluded  with  a  warn- 
ing against  a  practice  all  too  common  among  correspond- 
ents: don't  try  to  persuade  a  man  to  answer  your  letter 
by  assuming  an  attitude  of  injury.  If  a  man  writes 
to  you  for  information  about  the  article  you  have  for 
sale,  or  requests  the  sample  or  booklet  you  offer  to  give 
away  free,  don't  think  you  can  make  him  send  you 
money  by  causing  him  to  feel  that  he  is  indebted  to  you 
for  sending  him  what  you  agreed  to,  free  of  all  charges. 
Don't  dictate,  or  attempt  to  force  him  to  do  business 
with  you.  Any  letter  a  man  writes  you  because  he 
thinks  he  has  to,  isn't  worth  the  stamp  that  carries  it. 
Here,  for  example,  is  the  way  one  finn  begins  a  letter 
which  it  expects  to  win  customers : 

Did  you  ever  have  the  unpleasant  experience  of  addressinff  a 
person  upon  a  subject,  without  even  being  accorded  the  courtesy 
of  f  reply— or  worse  still,  did  you  ever  answer  anyone's  questions, 
to  the  best  of  your  ability,  without  receiving  a  word  in  return  for 
your  time  or  trouble!  If  you  have  had  either  one  or  both  of  these 
experiences,  you  will  understand  how  we  feel  because  you  haven't 
answered  our  letters. 


101 


Summary  of 

preceding 

points 


A  warning 
against 
a  common 
fault 


An  example 
of  an  *'in'- 
jured  dig^ 
nity'^  Utter 


102 

How  such  a 
letter  a^ecti 
the  reader 


Abetter 
method 


I 

'iS 


Peretuuion 
prepares  the 
way  for  the 
indiicement 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

That  is  only  the  beginning  of  this  wailing  and  gnash- 
ing-of -teeth  letter.  The  first  thing  the  young  man  who 
received  this  letter  said  was,  ''My,  look  at  the  raking 
over  these  fellows  are  giving  me,  simply  because  I 
accepted  their  invitation  to  investigate  their  article.  I 
didn't  find  it  what  I  wanted;  so  what  was  the  use  of 

writing?" 

Antagonism  is  the  first  product  of  such  a  letter. 
Instead  of  going  after  a  prospect  as  though  he  had  com- 
mitted a  sin,  it  would  have  been  a  hundred  per  cent  more 
profitable  to  have  continued  the  follow-up  with  a  letter 
showing  the  prospect  in  a  new  way  that  the  article  was 
what  he  needed  and  wanted. 

Whether  its  immediate  object  is  to  get  a  reply  to  a 
letter  or  to  make  a  sale,  persuasion  must  not  attempt  to 
force  a  decision.  It  must  not  antagonize  the  reader.  It 
must  put  him  in  the  proper  frame  of  mind  to  consider 
the  proposition  favorably.  If  it  does  that,  and  leads  hiri 
to  see  the  value  of  the  proposition  to  himself,  it  has  per- 
formed its  work.  Then  a  little  additional  inducement 
ought  to  lead  the  prospect  over  the  line  and  into  the 
ranks  of  the  buyers. 


CHAPTER  XI 


fc 


WHAT  INDUCEMENTS  TO 

OFFER 


SKILFUL  description,  inoontestable  proof,  and  con- 
vincing persuasion  will,  in  some  eases,  land  tht 
order,  but  frequently  these  need  to  be  reinforced  by 
some  inducement  that  hastens  the  act  of  buying.  The 
letter  without  an  inducement  may  convince  a  man  that 
the  goods  for  sale  are  desirable  and  that  they  are  suited 
to  his  personal  needs,  but  it  leaves  a  loophole  for  pro- 
crastination. 

Your  own  experience  is  proof  of  this.  You  have 
probably  determined  to  buy  mesh  underwear,  insured 
SOX,  a  dozen  magazines,  a  piano  player,  and  an  auto- 
mobile— some  time.  You  are  convinced  of  their  good 
points,  you  know  that  you  want  them,  and  you  have 
the  price.  All  that  is  necessary  is  the  proper  induce- 
ment— ^the  galvanic  spark  which  will  quicken  into  life 
this  latent  desire.     And  so  it  is  with  your  customers. 

Gain  is  at  the  bottom  of  all  inducements.  Gain  is  the 
root  of  all  business  action.  But  gain  is  not  always  a 
matter  of  dollars  and  cents.  Besides  the  gain  in  **  Spe- 
cial price  for  a  few  days;*'  the  gain  in  the  ** Special  re- 
duction, if  you  send  your  dealer's  name,"  and  the  gain 
in  the  free  sample,  there  is  also  the  subtie  suggestion  of 
gain  in  ''This  may  change  the  entire  course  of  your 


Inducement 

reinforces 

persuasion 


Inducement 
means 
showing 
gain 


104 


Inducement 
is  more 
dynamic 
than 
persuasion 


Various 
kinds  of 
inducement: 

**Limited 

supply** 

warning 


An  effective 
example 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

life;'*  in  ''Information  that  may  save  you  hours  of  un- 
certainty;'' and  dozens  of  others  that  do  not  represent 
anything  tangible,  but  mean  gain,  just  the  same. 

Thus,  the  inducement  has  much  in  common  with  per- 
suasion. Both  are  based  on  gain,  on  the  good  to  be 
derived  from  the  possession  of  the  article.  But  the  in- 
ducement is  more  dynamic:  its  purpose  is  to  focus  the 
attention  of  the  reader  on  the  necessity  of  making  sure 
of  the  gain  by  immediate  action — ^by  accepting  the 
offer  now. 

Inducements  are  as  various  as  sunsets.  A  familiar 
one  is  the  warning  that  only  a  limited  supply  of  the 
goods  is  available.  A  book  publisher  uses  this  effec- 
tively by  giving  exact  figures  on  the  number  of  copies 
of  certain  books  that  he  is  able  to  supply : 

In  six  weeks  more  our  contract  with  the  author  expires. 
Three  times  we  have  been  forced  to  renew  this  contract;  three 
times  we  have  ceased  all  book  advertising;  and  still  the  orders 
have  continued  to  pile  in  so  heavily  that  another  arrangement 
with  Mr. was  imperative. 

Of  the  30,000  sets  we  have  printed  altogether,  there  are  now 
about  149  in  the  stockroom,  and  1,000  more  are  going  through 
the  bindery.  If  you  had  seen  the  orders  streaming  in  at  a  200-a- 
day  clip  at  the  termination  of  other  contracts,  you  would  realize 
how  quickly  these  1,149  sets  will  melt  away.  While  we  still  have 
books  on  hand,  I  want  them  to  go  to  our  own  old  customers.  I 
cannot,  of  course,  discriminate  against  outsiders;  I  must  fill  the 
orders  as  they  come  in.  But  I  can  urge  you  to  speak  for  your 
set  now. 

This  is  perhaps  rather  long  and  detailed  for  general 
use.    A  similar  inducement  in  briefer  form  follows : 

We  have  just  146  sets  of  these  books  to  sell  at  $18.50.  When 
the  new  edition  is  in,  it  will  be  impossible  to  get  a  set  at  less  than 
$25.  The  old  edition  is  just  as  good  as  the  new,  but  we  are  entirely 
out  of  circular  matter  describing  the  green  cloth  binding,  and  as 
we  don 't  want  to  print  a  new  lot  of  circulars  just  to  sell  146  sets, 
we  make  this  unusual  offer.    Now  is  your  chance. 

Reduced  price  is  another  common  inducement.  In 
the  preceding  illustration  this  is  combined  with  the 
'* limited  supply"  warning.  When  a  reduced  price  is 
offered,  a  good  reason  for  it  should  be  given,  for  other- 
wise the  reader  is  likely  to  be  suspicious  of  the  quality  of 


INDUCEMENT 


105 


Dear  Mr.  Wilson: 

It  is  just  a  year  since  I  sent  you 
that  memorable  letter  about  the  Crown  Cal- 
culator. When  that  letter  was  written.  I  had 
an  unknown,  unheard-of  appliance  to  tell 
you  about.  Today  nearly  5,000  of  these 
machines  are  in  everyday  use. 

In  great  business  offices  all  over  the 
land,  in  stores,  in  factories,  the  Crown  is 
saving  time,  money,  and  errors  in  clerical 
labor.  It  is  no  longer  an  experiment. 

I  don't  know  why  you  have  been  silent 
during  these  twelve  months.  But  whatever 
has  prevented  you  from  trying  this  machine, 
I  want  to  permit  you  to  place  this  calcula- 
tor in  your  office  and  try  it. 

So  I  am  making  you  this  offer  —  an 
offer  so  fair  and  broad  that  even  if  you 
had  made  it  yourself  you  could  not  have 
made  the  conditions  fairer.  It  is  no  longer 
a  question  of  whether  the  machine  is  really 
practical.  It  is  no  longer  a  question  of 
whether  or  not  you  can  afford  it  —  for 
under  the  new  offer,  YOU  PAY  FOR  THE  MACHINE 
AS  IT  PAYS  FOR  ITSELF. 

Read  the  offer  through.  Only  a  quarter  a 
day  places  the  Crown  in  your  office  AT  ONCE. 
The  first  payment  of  $5  enables  you  to  put 
the  machine  into  immediate  money-saving, 
money-making  use.  And  the  balance  you  have 
nearly  a  whole  year  to  pay. 

I  have  attached  a  convenient  coupon  to 
the  circular  enclosed.  Simply  sign  this 
coupon  —  enclose  it  in  an  envelope  with  a 
S5  bill,  and  mail  it  to  me  —  AT  MY  RISK. 
Your  name  is  enough  security  for  me.  The 
Crown  will  go  forward,  all  transportation 
charges  fully  prepaid. 

Yours  very  truly. 


Natural 
Bxpretnon 


Proof 


Inducernent  and 
proof 


Inducement 
mingled  with 
persuaeion  and 
proof 


Inducement 


Clincher  mxik' 
ing  ordering 
easy 


STRONG  INDUCEMENT  NATURALLY  EXPRESSED 

Whether  the  inducement  is  large  or  small,  it  should  be  clearly  understood. 
Therefore  the  inducement  should  be  stated  in  the  most  natural  way  possible. 
Here  the  inducement  wins  the  reader's  entire  confidence.  The  offer  is  stated  bo 
clearly  that  there  is  little  chance  for  subsequent  misunderstanding. 


106 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 


Eliminating 
Offjteticns 


Relains  interest 
btf  leading 
direetly  to  offer 


Ordering  made 
§aeif 


I 


Dear  Sir: 

Why  have  you  not  sent  us  YOUR  subscrip- 
tion to  PROFITS? 

It  cannot  be  the  price — $1 — for  you  would 
gladly  give  many  times  that  amount  for 
the  ide£ts  that  a  single  issue  of 
PROFITS  will  bring. 

It  cannot  be  the  want  of  time— for  a  mere 
stroke  of  the  pen  would  place  your 
name  on  PROFITS'  mailing  list. 

It  cannot  be  that  you  are  not  interested — 
for  who  ever  heard  of  a  business  man 
who  did  not  want  his  business,  his 
efficiency,  his  income  to  grow? 

It  cannot  be  the  lack  of  opportunity — for  we 
have  written  you  five  letters,  giving 
you  five  opportunities. 

But  we  write  once  again.  Will  you  give 
yourself  a  chance  to  learn  what  PROFITS  is 
accomplishing  for  you  even  while  you  are 
keeping  it  from  your  desk? 

Your  choice  of  any  ONE  of  the  remark- 
able series  of  business  books  described  in 
the  enclosed  folder  I  That's  the  offer. 

Bear  in  mind:  one  book  FREE  with  your 
renewal!  And  every  idea  in  every  volume 
is  specific,  practical.  USABLE — ^written  by 
experts.  Here  are  correct,  definite,  de- 
tailed solutions  for  those  business  prob- 
lems that  so  long  have  vexed  you. 

Run  your  finger  down  the  nine  titles. 
Pick  out  the  book  YOU  need.  Mark  your' 
choice  and  send  with  a  $1  bill  TODAY. 

We  will  not  only  send  you  PROFITS  for 
the  next  twelve  months,  but  will  also 
forward  you,  absolutely  free,  even  trans- 

?  or tat ion  charges  prepaid,  the  book  that 
OU  choose.  This  is  a  fair  offer. 

Yours  very  truly. 


AN  INDUCEMENT  THAT  PULLED  MANY  ORDERS 

This  follow-np  letter  has  been  successful  in  pulling  ti  large  number  of 
orders.  Without  the  slightest  suggestion  of  apology,  it  condenses  the  arguments 
that  have  gone  before  and  then  offers  the  prospect  an  attractive  inducement  as  a 
dimax  not  only  of  the  letter,  but  of  the  entire  series. 


107 


Inducement 
of  reduced 
price  for 
introduction 


INDUCEMENT 

the  article  or  of  the  genuineness  of  the  reduction.    The 

publisher  with  the  146  sets  found  a  good  reason  in  the 

necessity  of  printing  new  circulars. 

One  reduced  price  inducement,  with  an  adequate 

reason,  is  the  offer  of  lower  price  for  introduction : 

The  Wricht  Copy  Holder  seUs  the  world  over  for  $3.00.  We 
are  ^r?ak^,howeve?f  that  once  you  see  the  holder  actuaUy  m- 
cWnTSe  output  of  your  own  typist  you  J^  wimt  to  eqmp 
your  entire  office  with  them.  So,  for  a  Imiited  time  only,  we  are 
goLg  to  make  you  an  introductory  price  of  $2.25.  Send  today  for 
one  of  these  holders, — etc. 

Similarly,  low  prices  are  offered  during  dull  seasons:  ^.  P^^ 

We  are  going  to  remodel  our  store  during  our  dull  season--  J^^ 
put  in  a  brLd  iew  front  and  sales  room,  install  ^ew  cutting  seasons 
rooms   new  fitting  rooms,  new  sewing  rooms,  and  make  ours  tne 
to«t  tSoring^teblishient  in  the  Southwest.     We  have  to  do 
this  to  take  care  of  our  rapidly  increasing  busmess. 

8o-to  reduce  our  stock  before  we  begin  to  tear  .«»f  g"  J»P» 
we  wiU  make  for  you  any  $50  suit  for  $35;  any  $45  suit  for  $30, 
and  any  $40  or  $35  suit  for  $25. 

Notice  of  advance  in  price  also  encourages  prompt 
action.    A  business  school  writes : 

On  November  1  the  cost  of  taking  the  efficiency  course  will 
advance  25%.  After  that  date,  no  one  can  on  any  account  get  the 
old  tuition  rates. 

Sign  the  enclosed  enrollment  blank  at  once— and  save  the 
25%  advance. 

Another  inducement  is  the  offer  of  a  free  trial  or  Free  trial 
free  examination : 

We  do  not  want  you  to  buy  in  the  dark.  We  ^f^t jou  to  be 
certam  tiiat  the  Autiior's  National  edition  of  Mark  Twaan  s 
Works  will  be  a  valuable  addition  to  your  hbrary.  That  w  why 
we  will  send  you  the  twenty-five  volumes  at  our  expense,  riiat  is 
why  you  may  examine  them  thoroughly— not  ^o^^  » /e^^»»^^*J*T 
but  for  ten  days.  That  is  why  you  may  send  the  books  back 
"collect"  if  unsatisfactory.  The  subscription  to  the  magwme 
win  be  cancelled,  and  you  will  owe  us  nothing  if  you  do  not  keep 
tlie  books. 


Advance  in 
price 


This  is  only  a  suggestive  list  of  inducements.  There 
are  many  others.  You  may  play  up  the  seasonableness 
of  the  article,  ybu  may  offer  some  special  service,  such 
as  advertising  in  the  local  paper  (when  selling  to  retail 
dealers),  <w  you  may  give  a  special  prize.    Any  offer 


A  wide 
range  of 
inducements 


108 


Warning 
against 
false 
inducements 


A  real 
inducement 
farces  a 
decision 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

that  impels  the  reader  to  act  promptly  on  your  propo- 
sition is  good  inducement.  Study  the  inducements  in  the 
letters  on  pages  105  and  106. 

A  common  error  in  handling  the  inducement  is  that 
of  attaching  false  or  fictitious  value  to  what  is  offered. 
One  brilliant  sales  manager  whose  firm  dealt  in  mine 
machinery  and  supplies  won  many  customers  by  con- 
stant reference  to  a  loose-leaf  catalogue  for  which  he 
issued  new  sheets  and  revised  prices  each  week.  The 
system  was  so  thorough  and  the  new  sheets  were  so  valu- 
able  that  many  customers  used  it  simply  because  it  was 
easy  to  handle. 

Another  sales  manager  tried  the  same  inducement, 
using  a  bound  catalogue  of  huge  dimensions.  He  failed. 
In  both  instances  the  catalogues  were  remarkable,  but 
one  was  serviceable  and  the  other  clumsy— one  consti- 
tuted a  real  inducement  and  the  other  was  a  deterrent. 

The  inducement  feature  of  the  sales  letter  must 
always  stand  before  the  most  searching  inquiry.  To  fool 
a  customer  into  responding  to  your  letter  may  mark  you 
as  exceptionally  clever,  but  that  customer  will  neither 
forgive  nor  forget  if  he  finds  it  out. 

The  inducement,  then,  must  make  a  real  offer.  If  it 
does  that,  it  hastens  the  decision  of  the  prospect,  and 
leads  him  to  the  point  where  he  is  ready  to  buy. '  The 
work  of  the  writer  of  the  sales  letter  is  now  almost  fin- 
ished; but  one  task  remains— only  one,  but  very  impor- 
tant. He  must  provide  a  means  for  making  ordering 
easy.    This  will  be  discussed  in  the  next  chapter. 


CHAFER  XII 


SUMMARY  AND  CLIMAX 
CLINCHING  THE  SALE 


SUPPOSE  a  salesman  came  into  your  office  with  an 
article,  demonstrated  its  qualities,  proved  your  need 
of  it  and  its  value  to  you,  made  you  want  it  so  badly  A  parable 
that  you  were  just  reaching  into  your  pocket  to  pay  for  of  a  foolish 
it—and  then,  when  he  could  have  your  money  for  the  ^^^^^^^^ 
asking,  suppose  he  suddenly  strapped  up  his  sample 
case,  said:  **I  will  be  glad  to  talk  to  you  more  about 
this  some  other  time,*'  and  walked  out  of  the  door. 

What  kind  of  salesman  would  you  call  him  ? 

A  shoe  manufacturer  tried  to  sell  me  a  pair  of  shoes 
by  mail.  He  wrote  a  letter  that  had  me  interested,  con- 
vinced, almost  ready  to  buy.  Then  instead  of  a  clincher 
that  decided  me,  I  struck  this  last  paragraph:  **We 
solicit  further  correspondence  with  you  concerning  our 
proposition.''  What  did  I  do?  1  shot  that  letter  into 
the  waste-basket,  and  bought  a  pair  of  shoes  on  my  way 
home. 

Any    difference    between    the    absurdly    imaginary  Analogy  in  a 
salesman  in  the  first  paragraph  and  the  very  actual  letter  sales  letter 
writer  in  the  second?    Not  a  bit. 

But  suppose  the  shoe  manufacturer  had  closed  by 
saying:  ** Simply  check  the  size  and  style  you  want  on 
the  enclosed  blank ;  sign  and  mail  it  today  with  $3.00  in 


110 


The  climax 
turns  desire 
into  action 


Two  parts 
of  the 
climax: 


1,  A  strong 
summing  up 
of  persua- 
sion and 
inducement 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 


any  convenient  form,  and  the  shoes  will  come  to  you  at 
once,  all  charges  paid."  Suppose  he  had  said  that! 
The  chances  are  a  hundred  to  one  he  would  have  my 
money  now  and  I  would  be  wearing  his  shoes. 

And  there  you  have  in  a  nutshell  the  vital  essential 
that  makes  or  kills  a  sales  letter. 

You  are  wasting  time  and  energy  when  you  concen- 
trate your  strength  in  your  argument  and  then  fail  to 
turn  desire  into  action.  What  is  the  use  of  making  the 
prospect  want  your  goods  if  you  wind  up  your  letter 
with  a  close  that  lets  him  feel  he  might  as  well  wait  a 
day  or  two  ?  Let  him  wait,  and  the  chances  are  that  next 
day  your  competitor  comes  along  with  a  letter  that 
strikes  home.  Then  he  gets  the  business,  and  your  letter 
slides  from  the  hold-over  file  into  the  waste-basket. 

Make  your  prospect  want  to  order,  of  course,  but 
don't  stop  there.  Make  it  easy  for  him  to  order  and 
make  him  do  it  now.  That  is  what  is  meant  by  real 
climax:  it  tells  the  prospect  what  to  do  and  when  to  do 
it — ^it  crystallizes  all  that  goes  before  into  the  act  itself. 

The  successful  climax  usually  has  two  parts.  The 
first  consists  of  what  we  have  termed  persuasion  and  in- 
ducement— it  summarizes  all  the  preceding  strong  points 
of  the  letter,  it  shows  the  gain  that  is  mine  in  ordering, 
the  loss  that  is  mine  by  delay.  It  emphasizes  return  and 
minimizes  cost.  It  is  the  paragraph  that  says:  **Just 
think  what  you  are  getting — ^this  and  this  and  this,  all 
for  the  smaU  sum  of .    Think  what  it  means  to  you. 


B.  The 

dineher 


to  your  future.  And  remember,  you  do  not  risk  one 
penny.  Every  cent  of  your  money  will  be  returned  to 
you  if  you  are  not  satisfied.  Why  delay  a  single  mo- 
ment?" 

When  he  reads  that,  your  man  is  almost  ready  to  act 
— but  not  quite,  for  your  climax  lacks  the  clincher. 
What  is  he  to  do  to  get  all  the  things  you  offer?  Tell 
him.  Make  it  so  plain  and  so  easy  that  he  will  have  not 
a  reason  in  the  world  for  not  ordering.    If  you  don't, 


SUMMARY  AND  CLIMAX 


111 


you  haven't  finished  your  letter;  and  lacking  the  effect 
of  that  clincher,  your  prospect  is  going  to  lapse  from  his 
'* almost  ready"  attitude  back  into  indifference. 

Now  how  can  you  get  him  to  act?  Go  back  to  the  star 
salesman.  How  does  he  doit?  He  gives  you  something 
to  sign.  He  lays  before  you  an  order  blank  complete 
save  only  for  your  signature.  Note  how  easy  he  has 
made  it  for  you  to  order;  he  does  not  ask  that  you  hunt 
up  a  letterhead  and  draw  up  an  order  of  your  own.  He 
has  the  order  all  printed  and  within  easy  reach. 

Just  apply  his  idea  to  your  letter.  Give  the  man 
something  to  sign :  a  post  card  filled  out,  addressed  and 
ready  to  mail,  a  coupon  that  simply  awaits  his  name— 
or  some  little  easy-as-lifting-your-finger  act  to  do  that 
makes  answering  almost  automatic.  Notice  how  the  let- 
ter on  page  113  comes  up  to  a  strong  close,  in  contrast 
with  the  weak  letter  on  page  112. 

When  it  is  rightly  employed  there  is  something  mar- 
vellous  about  the  tempting  power  of  the  little  blank  that 
awaits  your  name.  It  must,  however,  be  used  tactfully. 
No  man  likes  to  be  bull-dozed  by  another  into  signing 
anything.  He  balks  when  the  tactless  salesman  literally 
shoves  the  order  before  him  and  attempts  to  force  his 
signature.    Force  instantly  arouses  his  antagonism. 

But  watch  the  clever  salesman  who  has  learned  the 
subtle  influence  of  the  waiting  blank  itself.  He  places 
the  order  before  you,  but  he  lets  it  do  its  own  tempting. 
He  talks  not  the  order  but  the  goods ;  not  your  name,  but 
your  needs.  And  when  you  pick  up  your  pen  and  sign 
your  name,  you  do  so  on  your  own  initiative  because  you 
want  the  goods  he  sells. 

Now  the  beauty  of  all  this  is  that  the  clever  sales- 
man's methods  fit  perfectly  into  the  scheme  of  paper 
salesmanship.  You  have  built  up  your  interest,  proof, 
persuasion,  and  inducement,  and  now,  when  you  haye 
your  prospect  convinced,  almost  ready  to  say  ** I  will 
buy,"  you  do  as  the  salesman  does:  make  it  easy  for  him 


How  the 
salesman 
uses  his 
order  blank 


The  clincher 
in  the  letter 
does  the 
same 


It  makes 
ordering 
easy 


112 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 


Weak  and  too 
formal 


Lacks  interest 


Apology 
weakens  appeal 


Why  should  It 


More  weakening 
apology 


Dear  Sir: 

We  have  not  had  the  pleasure  of  having 
received  a  reply  to  the  letter  we  addressed 
to  you  about  two  weeks  ago,  and  we  pause  to 
ask  if  you  received  that  letter »  as  well  as 
the  catalog  which  we  mailed  you  at  the  same 
time.  If  so,  we  trust  that  our  prices  and 
superior  quality  of  Princeton  Piano  Player 
have  so  interested  you  as  to  insure  your 
order  when  you  are  ready  to  purchase.  If, 
however,  the  catalog  and  letter  did  not 
reach  you,  kindly  advise  us,  and  we  will 
mail  duplicates. 

We  are  real  anxious  to  secure  your 
order,  yet  do  not  wsmt  to  annoy  you  contin- 
ually with  a  lot  of  stereotyped  letters 
such  as  are  generally  sent  out  by  factories 
selling  their  products  by  mail  —  in  other 
words  we  do  not  abruptly  conclude  that 
simply  because  you  were  kind  enough  to 
write  us  relative  to  our  goods  that  you  are 
under  obligations  to  buy  of  us.  We  trust, 
however,  that  after  you  have  gone  over  the 
matter  very  carefully  you  will  decide  that 
our  Princeton  Plaver  is  the  best  for  the 
money,  and  that  when  you  are  ready  to 
purchase,  you  will  favor  us  with  your 
order,  as  we  know  you  will  never  have  any 
cause  to  regret  it. 

In  the  meantime,  if  you  have  no  objec- 
tions, we  will  mail  you  now  and  then 
illustrations  and  descriptions  of  each  of 
our  new  styles  as  we  place  them  on  the 
market,  feeling  that  you  will  be  interested 
in  the  latest  up-to-date  styles,  even 
though  you  may  not  be  in  an  immediate  need 
of  them  yourself. 

Again  thanking  you  for  the  inquiry. 

Very  truly  yours. 


ii^mi' 


A  SALES  LETTER  THAT  FAILED 

Here  is  an  actual  letter  used  as  the  fourth  and  the  last  in  a  follow-up  series. 
It  is  poor  because  it  not  only  is  lacking  wholly  in  explanation  and  proof  as  to 
quality  or  price,  but  throughout  it  takes  entirely  the  wrong  attituder-that  of  a 
continual  apology  for  taking  the  prospect's  time,  for  following  him  up  at  all. 


SUMMARY  AND  CLIMAX 


Dear  Mr.  Carter: 

The  only  thing  that  has  kept  you  from 
ordering  a  Princeton  Piano  Player  long 
before  this  is  that 

—  you  are  still  a  little  in  doubt  as  to 

its  value 

—  you  still  hesitate  to  believe  that  it 
offers  positively  the  biggest  value 
that  your  money  can  purchase. 

There  are  a  number  of  ways  in  which  we 
might  once  and  for  all  time  remove  your 
prejudice,  your  doubts,  your  misgivings: 

—  We  might  point  to  the  8,143  satisfied 
purchasers 

—  We  might  show  you  the  stream  of  more 
than  half  a  thousand  orders  each  month 

—  We  might  pull  open  drawer  after 
drawer  filled  to  bursting  with 
unsolicited  testimonials. 

But  we  have  a  plan  better  by  far. 

You  are  to  try  the  Princeton  Player  in 
your  own  home  for  thirty  days  —  one  full 
month  —  AT  OUR  RISK. 

Simply  deposit  the  first  small  payment. 
The  player  will  be  delivered  to  your  home, 
ready  for  your  use.  Then  put  it  to  a  test 
as  thorough  —  as  severe  —  as  you  wish; 
If  the  player  does  not  more  than  please  and 
satisfy  you  in  every  particular,  simply  say 
80  and  we  will  remove  it  at  our  expense  and 
refund  every  penny  of  your  deposit. 

Could  we  possibly  make  a  fairer,  more 
liberal  offer? 

Accept  this  offer  today.  Simply  sign 
the  enclosed  deposit  blank,  enclose  $10  and 
mail  now,  and  the  player  will  come  at  once. 

Very  truly  yours. 


113 


Direct 


Three  con- 
densed proof, 
convincingly 
stated 


Inducement 


Proof 


Persuasion 
Strong  close 


THE  SAME  OFFER  IN  WINNING  FORM 

This  rewritten  letter,  covering  the  proposition  on  the  opposite  page,  without 
a  suggestion  of  apology,  goes  straight  to  the  point  with  ample  proof  and  offers  a 
still  stronger  inducement.  While  this  letter  is  longer  than  the  other,  it  is  easier  to 
read  because  it  is  broken  into  short  paragraphs. 


114 


Using  the 
return  card 
or  coupon 


The  card  or 
coupon  must 
be  simple 
and  easily 
HUedin 


This  method 
of  ordering 
requires  little 
effort 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

to  decide,  literally  lay  a  waiting  order  blank  before  him. 

Refer  him  to  your  little  business-getting  supplement 
— ^the  blank  or  card  or  coupon.  Simply  tell  him  what  to 
do  and  what  the  result  will  be;  say,  **You  do  this  and 
we  will  do  that.*'  And  with  the  perfect  assurance  that 
whatever  move  he  makes  will  be  of  his  own  choice,  your 
man  will  find  ordering  so  easy  that  he  can't  resist;  he 
will  '*sign  and  mail  today." 

That  is  the  purpose  of  the  clincher:  to  make  order- 
ing easy.  If  an  order  blank  or  return  post  card  is  used, 
it  should  be  completely  filled  in  so  that  the  reader  has 
only  to  sign  his  name.  If  money  is  to  be  sent,  an  easy 
means  of  doing  that  must  be  provided. 

Note,  for  example,  how  simple  an  act  one  house 
makes  ordering: 

Merely  sign  the  last  page  of  the  booklet  enclosed — ^pm  a  two- 
dollar  biU  to  it — and  mail  us  today. 

Elementary,  isn't  it?  No  writing  a  letter,  no  buying 
a  draft.  The  homesteader  on  a  stage  route  with  the  stub 
of  a  pencil  and  a  two  dollar  note  could  answer  that  letter 
as  well  as  an  executive  surrounded  by  a  bevy  of  stenog- 
raphers. 

These  people  exemplify  the  idea  perfectly  when  they 
say: 

Simply  pin  a  $2.00  bill  to  this  letter  as  a  deposit,  and  we  will 
send  the  book  by  tJie  first  mail.  Look  the  book  over  carefully.  If 
you  don  ^t  see  a  dollar 's  worth  in  almost  every  page,  write  a  mere 
postal  and  we  will  return  your  $2.00. 

There  are  no  restrictions,  no  conditions,  no  strings  on  this 
offer.  It  is  open  to  every  well  rated  business  man  who  acts  before 
the  first  edition  of  the  book  is  exhausted.  Pin  your  $2.00  to  the 
letter  and  mail  today. 

Could  anything  be  easier?    And  could  a  man  find 
one  good  reason  for  not  accepting  that  offer? 
Here  is  another : 


The  enclosed  postal  will  bring  you  full  particu- 

Y. 


Don't  wait! 
lars  without  obligation.    Sign  and  mail  it  TODA 


A  typewriter  company  also  uses  the  idea  admirably 
when  it  says : 


SUMMARY  AND  CLIMAX 


116 


Dear  Mr.  Graham: 

You  will,  of  course,  as  a  matter  of 
convenience  and  economy,  install  stock 
racks  in  your  new  factory  —  racks  that  will 
classify  your  supplies  and  make  them 
easily  accessible. 

But  in  addition  to  securing  these 
advantages  you  will  want  racks  that  occupy 
no  more  ^ace  than  your  supplies  actually 
demand.  Every  foot  of  space  in  your 
factory  is  a  fixed  expense  to  you;  it  costs 
you  money  every  day  year  in  and  year  out. 

This  one  feature  of  compactness  alone 
makes  the  Thompson  steel  rack  superior  to 
any  other  device  in  use  for  the  storage  of 
parts  and  supplies.  For  the  Thompson  is 
adjustable  to  every  varying  demand.  You 
don't  have  to  waste  a  large  bin  on  two  or 
three  parts  and  stuff  a  small  bin  to  over- 
flowing. You  can  adjust  each  bin  separately 
to  the  nature  and  quantity  of  the  articles 
it  contains,  so  that  parts  are  given  not  an 
inch  more  room  than  they  actually  need. 

Yet  as  your  supplies  or  stock  in- 
creases, you  will  find  these  racks  capable 
of  unlimited  expansion.  You  can  m£Lke  addi- 
tions at  anyjpoint  to  meet  increasing  re- 
quirements. Each  section  is  a  unit,  and  new 
sections  fit  perfectly  with  the  old. 

And  Thompson  racks  are  built  to  last. 
Constructed  of  the  most  durable  steel,  they 
are  tested  to  hold  the  heaviest  loads,  no 
matter  how  unequally  placed. 

Fill  out  and  mail  today  the  enclosed 

?ost  card  —  it  will  bring  our  representa- 
ive  to  give  you  a  complete  estimate  of 
your  needs.  This  information  puts  you  under 
no  obligation  and  is  yours  for  the  asking. 

Very  truly  yours. 


Staiement  of 
fact  vfins 
confidence 


Explanation 
of  need 


Explanation 
ahotoing  how 
need  i$  met 


Advantaget 
eet  forth 


Explanation 
of  quality 


Brought  to  a 
definite  poirU 
in  close  and 
clincher 


LEADING  THE  PROSPECT  TO  THE  BUYING  POINT 

Beghining  with  a  statement  with  which  the  prospect  agrees,  this  letter  leads 
him  step  by  step  to  the  buying  point.  Ahnost  every  paragraph  contams  explana- 
tion. The  salesman  recognizes  the  needs  of  the  prospect  and  shows  how  the 
article  offered  for  sale  will  supply  his  needs  now  and  later. 


116 


11)1 


ifli 


I, 


A  compli- 
cated coupon 
arouses 
suspicion 


A  guarantee 
blank  wins 
confidence 


TJie  use  oj  a 
serially 
numbered 
coupon 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

The  factory  ia  working  to  the  limit  these  days,  and  we  are 
behind  on  orders  now.  But  we  are  going  to  hold  the  machine  we 
have  reserved  for  you  a  few  days  longer.  After  that  we  may 
have  to  use  it  to  fill  another  order.  Sign  and  send  us  the  enclosed 
blank  today,  and  let  us  place  the  machine  where  it  will  be  of  real 
service  to  you.  Remember,  it  ia  covered  by  a  guarantee  that  pro- 
tects you  against  disappointment.  If  you  don't  like  it,  simply 
return  it  and  back  comes  your  money. 

The  enclosed  blank,  poet  card,  or  other  ordering  de- 
vice should  be  simple  and  easily  understood.  If  it  is 
long  and  complicated,  it  is  likely  to  arouse  the  suspicion 
of  the  careful  business  man.  Before  signing,  he  has  to 
scan  the  offer  critically  for  possible  loopholes  and 
"catches.'*  The  ideal  form  is  one  that  can  be  compre- 
hended at  a  glance.  The  shorter  and  simpler  the  form, 
the  better. 

There  is  something  about  a  guarantee  blank,  too, 
that  coaxes  the  pen  to  its  dotted  lines.  A  safety  razor 
manufacturer  who  sold  his  goods  on  approval  enclosed 
with  his  sales  letter  a  legal  looking  return  contract  that 
read: 

ABSOLUTE  GUABANTEE 

I  deposit  herewith  $2.50  for  which  please  send  me  absolutely 
without  further  cost  your  *  »  *  Eazor.  It  is  understood  that 
if  I  am  not  perfectly  satisfied  with  my  investment,  I  will  return 
the  razor  to  you  within  ten  days,  and  you  will  refund  my  full  $2.50 
promptly  and  cheerfully,  cancelling  the  order. 

Such  a  protective  guarantee  wins  the  confidence  of 
the  prospect,  and  this  form  got  many  a  buyer  because  it 
showed  him  specifically  that  he  could  not  lose. 

A  business  school  found  a  winner,  too,  in  a  serially 
numbered  coupon  which  it  enclosed  with  a  letter  telling 
of  a  special  offer  to  students.    Each  coupon  read: 

This  serial  coupon  will  be  accepted  as  $5.00  in  cash  payment 
toward  the  tuition  for  our  regular  $18,  twel ve- weeks '  course  in 
bookkeeping,  if  properly  signed  and  mailed  within  seven  days 
following  receipt  of  this  letter. 

But  when  you  give  your  man  something  to  sign, 
guard  well  against  obscurity.  It  is  human  nature  to 
search  a  wordy  order  blank  for  statements  with  double 
meaning. 


SUMMARY  AND  CLIMAX 

There  never  was  a  proposition  that  didn't  have  pos- 
sibilities of  a  sales  climax,  and  there  never  was  a  sales 
letter  that  didn't  have  a  place  for  a  clincher.  If  you 
can't  give  the  reader  something  to  sign,  do  the  next 
easiest  thing.  Note,  for  example,  the  way  the  man  winds 
up  who  solicits  my  typewriter  ribbons  for  re-inking : 

A  trial  will  convince  you,  and  the  sooner  you  send  them  the 
more  you  '11  save.  Why  not  press  the  button  and  have  them  packed 
up  and  shipped  right  nowt 

Another  letter  closes : 

You  have  only  to  reach  over  to  your  telephone,  and  tell  us  to 
attach  a  dictating  machine  feed  wire  to  the  lamp  socket  in  your 
ofS.ce  and  leave  the  instrument  there  at  your  elbow  for  a  few  days 
while  you  give  it  a  chance  to  prove  that  you  have  been  wasting  a 
good  deal  of  very  valuable  time,  every  day,  and  missing  as  great 
and  continual  a  convenience  as  the  telephone. 

Note  that  this  letter  suggests  not  only  how  easy  it  is 
to  put  in  the  order — ^merely  use  the  telephone  beside 
you — ^but  also  how  easy  it  is  to  install  the  machine — ^no 
alterations,  no  interruption  of  the  work  in  the  office  are 
necessary ;  the  machine  is  attached  to  the  light  socket  as 
easily  as  you  would  put  in  a  new  electric  bulb. 

A  good  climax  is  the  antithesis  of  procrastination.  It 
gets  the  reader  in  motion.  It  tells  him  what  to  do.  It 
makes  him  reach  for  his  pen,  sign,  seal  and  stamp  his 
order,  and  run  to  the  mail  box.  It  brings  him  up  to  the 
buying  point,  as  in  the  letter  on  page  115. 

The  clincher  is  the  only  kind  of  close  that  makes  a 
sales  letter  bring  results.  Give  your  man  something  to 
sign  or  at  least  give  him  something  so  easy  to  do  that 
he  can't  help  doing  it.  Tell  him  how  and  what  to  do, 
and  tell  him  to  do  it  today.  Try  it,  and  you  will  find 
your  sales  letters  picking  up  the  i^ekels  like  a  magnet 


117 


Another 
form  of 
clincher 
suggested 


This  letter 
shows  how 
easily  the 
machine 
may  be 
installed 


The  clincher 
closes  the 
sale  and  geti 
the  money 


f" 


CHAPTER  XIII 


DEVELOPING  A  FOLLOW-UP 

SERIES 


Variety  in 
bait  is 
needed  in 
sales  letters, 
as  in  fishing 


i¥'\ 


if' 


i 


A  follow-up 
series 

changes  the 
bait  in  each 
letter 


**1F  THE  fish  don't  bite,  keep  changing  your  bait.  If 
A  they  don't  bite  then,  change  your  fishing-hole." 
This  is  sound  advice  for  every  amateur  fisherman,  as  any 
gray-haired  angler  will  tell  you.  It  is  equally  sound 
philosophy  for  selling  by  mail,  as  every  successful  sales- 
man knows. 

Mail  sales  campaigns  are  rarely  worked  up  on  a 
single  sales  letter  complete  in  itself,  but  rather  on  a 
series  of  letters.  The  object  of  your  selling  campaign 
may  be  to  make  a  certain  class  of  prospects  buy  your 
goods  through  a  series  of  letters  directed  at  that  one 
class.  Or  the  object  may  be  to  pull  orders  from  many 
classes  of  prospects  in  the  same  list  by  means  of  a  series 
of  letters  each  one  of  which  convinces  a  different  class. 
In  both  cases  the  success  of  the  campaign  is  due  essen- 
tially to  the  fact  that  the  salesman  approaches  his  pros- 
pect each  time  from  a  new  angle.  He  changes  his  bait. 
He  presents  his  proposition  from  a  different  point  of 
view.  This  is  the  heart  of  the  whole  matter.  He  hopes 
that  one  of  his  arguments  will  hit  the  particular  need  of 
a  certain  class  of  readers,  and  arouse  an  interest  that  will 
result  in  orders  from  them.  Another  argument  will  get 
a  response  from  another  class,  and  so  on.    He  recognizes 


SALES  FOLLOW-UP  LETTERS 


119 


that  men  are  not  all  alike,  and  that  it  is  a  waste  of  time 
and  money  to  keep  trying  to  reach  them  all  by  the  same 
appeal  Then  if  a  change  of  bait  doesn't  work,  he 
changes  his  fishing  hole. 

A  single  sales  letter  cannot  be  expected  to  exhaust 
the  selling  possibilities  of  a  list.  It  will  get  orders  from 
people  who  are  already  familiar  with  the  article  and  are 
easily  convinced  that  they  want  it.  Just  how  many  will 
respond  will  depend  upon  the  nature  of  the  proposition 
— ^upon  the  kind  of  article  and  the  special  inducement 
that  is  offered.  If  the  goods  are  of  universal  or  general 
value,  and  an  especially  attractive  price  is  made,  the  per- 
centage should  be  comparatively  large.  For  instance,  in 
a  campaign  for  selling  safety  razors  for  twenty-five 
cents,  an  enormous  number  were  sold  by  one  letter.  This 
price  was  so  very  small  that  people  jumped  at  the  chance 
to  buy.  On  the  other  hand,  if  the  article  is  new  or  if  it 
involves  the  expenditure  of  considerable  money,  the  cus- 
tomer must  be  led  more  or  less  gradually  to  appreciate  it 
and  to  see  that  it  is  worth  the  money  to  him.  He  must 
be  educated  as  to  its  value.  Hence  more  than  one  letter 
— a  series  of  letters — is  needed.  These  constitute  a  fol- 
low-up series. 

Roughly  speaking,  sales  follow-ups  may  be  divided 
into  two  classes — ^the  general  publicity  and  the  direct- 
sales  follow-up.  The  object  of  the  first  is  primarily  to 
keep  the  firm's  name  and  goods  constantly  before  the 
public.  For  instance,  a  firm  may,  from  time  to  time,  send 
to  its  customers  notices  of  special  sales  or  the  arrival  of 
new  lines  of  goods.  This  periodical  letter  may  be  merely 
a  formal  notice  of  the  event,  or  it  may  introduce  some 
seasonable  sales  talk. 

But  the  periodical  letter  does  not  hammer  away, 
letter  after  letter,  on  any  one  article  or  line  of  goods. 
On  the  other  hand,  this  is  precisely  what  the  direct-sales 
follow-up  does.  It  is  carried  on  for  the  purpose  of  sell- 
ing a  certain  article  to  a  list  of  prospects,  and  it  makes 


A  foUow-up 
campaign 
lands  orders 
that  the 
single  sales 
letter  misses 


Two 

classes  of 
follow-ups: 

1,    General 
publicity 


e.    Dired 
sales 


120 


;fr 


Mere 

repetition  of 
arguments  is 
iinsuited  for 
direct-sales 
series 


Each  letter 
should 
emphasize 
one  selling 
jxnnt 


A  successful 

foUouhup 

series 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

continued  and  varied  appeals  to  them  until  the  sales 
possibilities  are  exhausted— until  the  returns  are  so  small 
that  a  continuation  of  the  campaign  will  not  pay.  In 
other  words,  the  direct  sales  follow-up  is  a  series  of  let- 
ters addressed  to  the  same  man  with  the  object  of 
making  him  buy  a  certain  article.  This  is  the  kind  of 
follow-up  on  which  the  emphasis  is  laid  here. 

Hence  the  necessity  for  approaching  the  prospect 
each  time  from  a  new  angle  is  evident,  for  mere  repeti- 
tion of  the  same  argument  or  appeal  may  create  a  certain 
sort  of  interest,  but  will  never  bring  in  the  returns  ob- 
tainable under  a  variety  of  appeals.  Mere  repetition  is 
extensively  used  in  general  publicity  advertising.  For 
example,  if  I  am  repeatedly  reminded,  day  after  day,  to 
'*Use  Smith's  Shaving  Brush,''  that  article  is  uncon- 
sciously fixed  in  my  mind,  and  when  I  need  a  shaving 
brush,  I  am  quite  likely  to  buy  Smith's.  Such  appeals, 
however,  do  not  persuade  me  that  I  need  it  now  and 
should  buy  it  now;  hence  they  are  not  suitable  for  the 
direct  sales  follow-up. 

Each  letter  in  the  series,  then,  should  make  a  new 
appeal,  present  a  new  argument.  Each  should  empha- 
size one  point.  Other  points— supplementary  selling 
talk— may  be  added,  but  these  are  to  be  kept  subordinate 
to  the  main  argument.  Also,  as  the  series  progresses,  the 
preceding  arguments  may  be  re-stated  briefly  from  time 
to  time,  but  these,  too,  should  not  be  made  prominent 
enough  to  distract  the  attention  from  the  main  point  to 
which  this  letter  is  devoted. 

The  letters  on  pages  121-125  form  a  sales  follow- 
up  series  used  extensively  and  with  excellent  results  by 
a  silo  manufacturing  company.  In  counties  where  the 
letters  were  mailed  liberally,  the  cost  of  each  sale  was 
about  half  of  that  in  counties  where  sales  were  made  ex- 
clusively by  agents. 

Each  of  the  five  letters  makes  a  new  appeal.  The  first 
emphasizes  the  wisdom  of  the  silo  idea  and  explains  it 


I 


SALES  FOLLOW-UP  LETTERS 


Dear  Sir: 

A  silo  is  the  beginning  of  farm  wisdom. 
Here's  the  big  idea,  the  silo  idea: 

If  your  soil  is  rich,  raise  your  stock 
on  silage  and  fodder.  Sell  your  expensive 
hay.  Put  your  high-priced  acres  into  a 
quick-money  crop. 

If  your  soil  is  poor,  raise  your  stock 
for  profit,  and  —  for  manure,  which  is 
worth  more  than  money  in  the  bank.  Keep 
twice  the  stock  you  could  on  pasture  £md 
hay,  and  build  up  your  land  rapidly. 

If  you  keep  cows  for  milk,  get  the  full 
flow,  winter  and  summer,  with  a  really 
cheap  and  succulent  feed  —  silage. 

Now,  that's  good  farm  wisdom,  isn't  it? 

You  need  a  silo.  When  you  are  through 
reading  our  Silo  Book,  you'll  know  why  we 
have  the  silo  you've  been  wanting.  Correct 
principles  of  construction  and  good  work- 
manship produce  the  right  silo.  We'll 
build  it  for  you,  complete  and  ready  to 
fill.  Our  experience  and  an  organized  . 
force  of  construction  experts  enable  us  to 
do  the  work  Just  as  it  ought  to  be  done. 
And  we'll  charge  you  less  than  it  would 
cost  you  to  do  it  yourself. 

Be  wise.  If  you  will  sign  and  return 
the  enclosed  card,  we'll  send  you  a  booklet 
fully  describing  our  silos,  and  also  photo- 
graphs of  several  we  have  built  in  your 
county. 

Yours  very  truly. 


121 


Attenium 


Three-fold  idea 

quickly 

explained 


« 


The  whip' 


ArffWKMni 
brief  and 
toihepoini 


Close  toAtfte 
eurioeiiif 


THE  FIRST  LETTER 

Even  a  silo  can  be  sold  by  maa.  An  actual  sales  follow-up  series  used  by 
a  silo  manufacturing  company  is  shown  on  this  and  the  following  four  pages.  The 
first  letter  lays  a  foundation  for  the  following  ones  by  explaining  the  silo  idea. 
Note  how  effectively  this  is  done  in  five  short  paragraphs. 


122 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 


A  "story** 
quickly  told 
easily  wins 
interest 


A 


You  are  carried 
right  along 


t« 


The  whip" 


Convincing 
argument 


The  "goods* 
offered  jor 
inspection 


Dear  Sir: 

If  a  man  should  come  along  the  road 
some  day  while  you  are  plowing  corn  and  say 
to  you, 

"If  you  will  pay  me  $400,  I  will  take 
10  acres  of  your  corn  before  it  matures  euid 
make  20  out  of  it  for  you  and  do  that  every 
year  for  the  rest  of  your  life," 

You  would  consider  that  a  good  business 
investment,  now  wouldn't  you? 

Most  of  the  farmers  up  in  my  part  of 
the  state  do,  too,  for  you  can  see  a  silo 
on  every  farm,  and  it's  a  good  grain 
country,  like  yours. 

Why? 

Because  they  know  a  silo  is  a  good  in- 
vestment. They  know  that  under  the  old 
methods  of  feeding  they  can  not  raise 
cattle  at  a  profit  despite  the  demaind  for 
meat.  They  cannot  keep  one  head  of  stock 
to  every  acre  of  ground  without  a  silo. 
They  cannot  build  up  their  land  without 
raising  more  stock.  Can  you? 

If  you  expect  to  invest  in  a  silo,  it 
will  mean  money  in  your  pocket  to  read 
carefully  the  booklet  we  sent  you.  Study 
closely  the  advantage  of  our  method  of 
construction.  Good  construction  is  neces* 
sary  to  produce  the  greatest  percentage  of 
good  silage  at  the  lowest  cost  per  ton. 
Drive  over  to  Mr.  Wilson's  farm  and  see  his 
silo.  We  sent  you  a  photograph  of  it. 

You  can  make  your  silo  earn  its  cost 
before  you  pay  us  for  it.  When  shall  we 
come  out  and  talk  it  over  with  you? 

Yours  very  truly. 


THE  SECOND  LETTER 

A  person  is  almost  always  willing  to  listen  when  he  scents  a  story.  Advantage 
is  taken  of  this  fact  here  to  win  attention.  Notice  how  the  opening  paragraphs 
run  into  each  other,  carrying  the  reader  rapidly  along  to  a  point  where  he  agrees 
with  the  writer  and  is  ready  to  see  ' '  the  goods. ' ' 


SALES  FOLLOW-UP  LETTERS 


123 


Dear  Sir: 

One  day  last  summer  while  I  was  riding 
on  a  train  through  southern  Illinois,  a 
farmer  friend  sitting  next  to  me  looked  out 
over  the  burning,  sizzling  corn  fields,  and 
said: 

"My,  I  wish  I  had  a  silo.  I  could  save 
enough  of  my  crop  to  winter  my  stock  at 
least,  but  I'll  have  to  sell  part  of  them. 
It's  too  late  to  build  a  silo  now.  So  I 
must  stand  for  a  loss." 


Hor  about  you?  Are  you  losing  the 
price  of  a  silo  before  you  see  the  value  of 
it?  Last  summer's  hot  winds  made  many  a 
farmer  resolve  to  have  a  silo  before 
another  crop  season.  Will  you  build  one? 

If  you  don't,  you  may  have  to  stand  for 
a  loss,  like  my  friend.  If  you  build  a 
cheap  .stave  silo  out  of  pine  or  tameurac, 
you  will  face  a  bigger  loss.  If  you  build 
of  brick  or  cement  block,  but  without  re- 
gard to  tested  principles  in  construction, 
you  will  stand  for  a  still  larger  loss. 

You  will  NOT  lose  money,  if  you  build 
a  Rockwall  silo.  It  will  cost  you  no  more 
than  any  permanent  silo  would  cost,  even 
should  you  build  it  yourself.  Silage  WILL 
KEEP  in  our  silos.  You  will  NOT  lose  money, 
if  you  use  our  experience.  Our  profits 
are  simply  the  savings  which  come  from  buy- 
ing and  building  in  large  quantity  and  our 
e3q>erience  in  erecting  many  silos. 

Why  not  turn  your  possible  losses  into 
profits?  Have  you  been  over  to  see  Mr. 
Wilson's  silo?  Ask  any  questions  you  wish 
on  the  enclosed  c£u:d,  and  mail  it  today. 

Yours  very  truly. 


§f. ft 


Another  "story 


Immediate 
application  to 
prospect 


Clean-eui 
argument 


Proqf 


Laysbtmsfot 

continued 

correspondene0 


THE  THIRD  LETTER 

This  letter  also  starts  out  in  the  narrative  style.  The  incident  is  brought 
quickly  to  bear  on  the  reader  at  the  beginning  of  the  third  paragraph.  The  sug- 
gestion of  possible  loss  is  Used  to  stimulate  the  reader's  interest  and  thus  impelg 
him  to  read  on  in  the  hope  of  finding  the  means  of  preventing  it. 


lU 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 


Annoert  pro»' 
peet'i  question 
without  delay 


I'll 


Explanation 
and  description 


Continues  to 
assume  that 
the  prospect 
"wiU  buy 


Dear  Sir: 

Silage  will  NOT  freeze  —  if  you  build 
right . 

If  you  wanted  a  house  that  would  be  the 
coolest  possible  in  summer  amd  the  warmest 
possible  in  winter,  you  would  not  build  one 
with  walls  of  sheeting  one  inch  thick,  but 
you  would  build  double  walls  of  brick  six 
inches  thick. 

That's  just  the  difference  between 
silos.  If  you  want  to  keep  silage,  you 
must  keep  it  from  freezing.  If  there  is 
only  one  freeze  during  the  winter  and  the 
silage  is  not  protected,  it  will  freeze 
from  4  to  12  inches  deep  in  from  the  walls, 
and  thousands  of  cubic  feet  of  good  silage 
will  be  lost. 

The  Rockwall  silo  will  keep  your  silage 
from  freezing.  The  walls  of  our  silo  are 
not  only  six  inches  thick,  but  they  are 
divided  by  two  air  spaces  —  dead  air 
spaces  —  which  stop  the  cold  effectually. 

The  only  silage  which  spoils  in  the 
Rockwall  silo  is  that  immediately  on  top, 
and  this  spoilage  is  necessary  to  keep  the 
air  from  going  down  through  the  silage. 

Silage  does  not  spoil  next  to  the  walls 
of  our  silo,  because  the  heat  of  fermenta- 
tion is  not  lost.  Our  block  holds  the  heat 
instead  of  conducting  it  away  as  does  most 
cement  and  masonry  construction.  So  the 
corn  is  all  converted  into  good  sweet 
silage  clear  out  to  the  walls. 

Don't  you  want  to  talk  it  over  with 
Mr.  Farthy  of  our  company?  He  is  a  silo 
expert  and  a  pleasant  fellow  to  talk 
business  with.  When  may  he  see  you? 

Yours  very  truly. 


THE  FOURTH  LETTER 

This  letter  marks  a  split  in  the  follow-up  series.  The  prospect's  question, 
in  response  to  the  previous  letter,  is  answered  directly  and  without  delay  in  the 
first  paragraph.  The  reasons  for  this  answer  are  fully  explained  in  the  five 
paragraphs  that  foUow.    In  the  close,  emphasis  is  laid  on  an  interview. 


SALES  FOLLOW-UP  LETTERS 


Dear  Sir: 

Yes,  our  silo  will  pay. 

You  and  I  know  anything  is  worth  only 
what  it  can  do  for  you,  not  what  you  choose 
to  spend  for  it.  That's  just  as  true  of  a 
silo  as  anything  else.  You  get  what  you 
pay  for,  and  no  more. 

If  you  want  a  silo  that  will  last  only 
a  few  years,  buy  a  cheap  one;  don't  buy 
ours.  If  you  want  a  silo  of  doubtful  con- 
struction, buy  a  cheap  one;  don't  buy  ours. 
But  if  you  want  a  silo  built  as  carefully 
as  a  battleship,  one  that  will  last  many 
years,  and  cost  you  less  per  year  than  any 
other,  then  buy  a  Rockwall. 

You  can  buy  other  silos  for  less  money, 
but  compare  what  others  offer  you  with  our 
list.  Here  it  is  —  look  at  it! 

Hard  burned  selected  clay  blocks. 
Heavy  gray-iron,  non-rusting  door 

frames. 
Cypress  wood  doors,  patent  lock. 
Iron  steps  for  two  ladders. 
Bolts  for  chute  and  roof. 
Reinforcing  metal  for  foundation  and 

every  course  of  blocks. 
Roof,  frame  and  covering  complete. 
Specially  constructed  scaffold. 
Detailed  instructions  and  blueprints. 
Freight  paid  on  return  of  tools  and 

scaffold. 

If  your  mason  is  not  familiar  with 
silo  construction,  we  are  prepared  to 
furnish  labor  at  your  request. 

Mr.  Farthy  can  drive  out  to  see  you 
next  Monday  morning.  Shall  I  tell  him  to 
come?  If  any  other  date  is  better,  check 
it  on  the  postal  card  and  mail  it  today. 

Yours  very  truly. 


125 


Personal  tone 
wins  confidence 


Persuasion 


Submits  data 
for  proof 


Climax  of  the 
series 


Inducement 


Brings  persondi 
interview 


THE  FIFTH  LETTER 

Price  and  what  it  covers  are  reserved  for  discussion  in  the  final  letter  of 
the  series.  The  short  and  direct  sentences  in  the  first  three  paragraphs  lead  up 
to  the  climax  of  the  series  in  the  fourth  paragraph,  in  which  the  superior 
advantages  of  the  article  offered  for  sale  are  emphasized  in  one,  two,  three  order. 


L* ' 


I 

I 


It 


^'fl 


126 

Analysis  of 
painUmade 
in  the  series 


Get  the  most 
effective 
arrangemen 
of  arguments 


Test  your 
arrangement 
by  a  try-out 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

pointedly;  the  second  drives  home  the  value  of  the  silo 
as  an  investment;  the  third  warns  against  probable  but 
preventable  losses;  the  fourth  answers  an  important 
question  concerning  silage ;  and  the  fifth  details  exactly 
what  the  purchaser  will  get  for  his  money,  what  the  price 
covers.  Supplementary  points  are  added  in  each  letter, 
but  the  main  argument  stands  out 

The  arrangement  of  the  arguments  in  this  and  in 
every  series — ^that  is,  the  order  in  which  the  letters  are 
sent  out — ^is  an  important  matter.  It  has  been  proved 
by  tests  that  a  change  in  the  order  will  seriously  affect 
the  pulling  power  of  the  series.  The  most  effective  ar- 
rangement cannot  always  be  determined  a  priori.  The 
most  that  you  can  do  when  you  map  out  a  letter  cam- 
paign is  to  arrange  the  letters  tentatively  in  a  certain 
order,  which  is  based  upon  the  experience  gained  from 
previous  campaigns,  or  upon  the  testimony  of  sales- 
men as  to  the  arguments  which  they  have  found  most 
effective. 

However,  don^t  spend  your  money  in  mailing  this 
series  to  your  full  list  of  prospects  until  you  have  tested 
it  on  a  small  list.  Send  it  out  to,  say,  five  hundred  or  a 
thousand  names,  the  number  depending  upon  the  scope 
of  your  campaign.  Then  keep  a  careful  record  of  the 
returns  from  each  letter.  If  the  test  list  has  been  so 
selected  that  it  is  a  representative  one,  the  percentage  of 
returns  should  be  about  the  same  from  the  large  list. 
Consequently  you  now  know  which  are  the  stronger 
letters  and  which  are  the  weaker.  Then  on  the  basis  of 
this  test  rearrange  your  series,  and  if  necessary,  rewrite 
your  less  successful  letters. 

In  this  rearrangement  do  not  make  the  mistake  of 
using  all  your  stronger  arguments  in  the  earlier  letters 
of  the  series.  The  first  letter  should,  of  course,  be  a 
strong  one,  for  it  must  not  only  get  orders  from  as  large 
a  percentage  of  prospects  as  possible  and  thus  save  the 
expense  of  a  further  campaign,  but  it  should  also  arouse 


SALES  FOLLOW-UP  LETTERS 

sufficient  interest,  among  the  readers  who  are  not  yet 
ready  to  buy,  to  insure  attention  for  the  succeeding 
letters.  Then  reserve  one  or  two  of  the  more  effective 
arguments  for  the  latter  part  of  the  series,  for  otherwise 
you  will  close  with  an  anti-climax.  Good  selling  talk 
will  be  required  to  bring  into  line  the  prospects  who 
have  resisted  the  appeals  of  the  earlier  letters. 

The  series  as  now  arranged  is  ready  to  be  sent  out 
to  the  complete  mailing  list.  Each  letter  will  bring 
orders  from  some  prospects,  inquiries  from  others,  and 
from  still  others  no  reply  at  all.  The  first  class  are 
dropped  from  your  present  follow-up  list.  The  last  will 
be  retained  to  receive  the  following  letters  of  the  series. 
The  second  class,  those  making  inquiries,  will  require  a 
different  procedure. 

A  prospect  has  indicated  interest  in  some  phase  of 
the  proposition  and  perhaps  has  made  inquiries  about 
special  points. 

To  him,  a  new  letter,  not  included  in  the  original 
series,  will  be  sent.  This  will,  of  course,  answer  his 
questions  fully,  and  perhaps  present  new  points.  The 
subsequent  procedure  with  this  man  will  depend  upon 
the  nature  of  his  question.  If  it  indicates  a  field  of  fc- 
terest  not  covered  by  the  original  series,  and  if  this  field 
is  broad  enough  to  warrant  such  a  procedure,  a  new 
series  of  letters  will  be  sent  him,  the  original  one,  for  the 
present,  at  least,  being  put  aside.  This  new  series  will 
draw  its  arguments  from  the  new  field  of  interest. 

Suppose,  for  example,  that  after  receiving  the  first 
two  or  three  letters  of  the  series  on  the  silo,  the  man  in- 
quires if  the  value  of  silage  as  feed  for  cattle  is  sufficient 
to  warrant  putting  in  a  silo.  Here  is  a  man  who, 
obviously,  needs  to  be  educated  to  the  use  of  silage ;  and 
the  company  may  consider  it  worth  while  to  devote  two 
or  three  letters  to  this  task.  Then  when  he  has  been  con- 
vinced, the  original  series  of  letters,  hammering  away  on 
the  advantages  of  the  Rockwall  silo,  could  be  resumed. 


127 


Don*t  use  all 
the  best 
arguments 
in  the  first 
letters 


How  to 
handle 
replies — 
especially 
inquiries 


When  the 
inquiry 
needs  several 
letters  in 
answer 


128 

When  the 
inquiry  can 
be  covered 
in  one  letter 


Forms  and 
personal 
letters  used 
in  the 
"split" 


Elements 
composing 
the  follow-up 
letters 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

On  the  other  hand,  the  question  may  be  one  that  can 
be  answered  satisfactorily  in  a  single  letter,  in  which 
case,  if  this  answer  does  not  bring  the  order,  the  original 
series  is  continued.  For  instance,  there  is  a  split  follow- 
ing Letter  No.  3,  p.  123.  The  prospect  has  sent  in  the 
card  mentioned  in  the  clincher  in  No.  3,  with  the  ques- 
tion, **Can  a  silo  be  built  so  that  silage  will  not  freeze?'' 
Letter  No.  4  answers  this  inquiry.  Then,  as  this  ques- 
tion does  not  need  further  discussion,  the  original  series 
is  resumed  in  Letter  No.  5. 

The  same  procedure  will  be  followed  each  time  a  new 
question  is  asked.  The  question  is  answered;  and  then 
the  subsequent  letters  either  follow  the  line  of  interest 
suggested  by  the  inquiry,  or  return  to  the  original  series, 
as  explained  above. 

These  new  letters  are  not  necessarily  personally  dic- 
tated letters,  for  in  a  large  follow-up  campaign  most  of 
the  inquiries  will  fall  into  a  few  general  groups  which 
can  be  handled  by  forms.  But  if  any  person  asks  a 
question  not  covered  by  the  forms,  his  special  case  must 
be  taken  care  of  with  individual  letters. 

The  separate  letters  of  a  series — both  the  original 
series  and  the  splits — will  be  made  up  of  the  elements 
discussed  in  the  preceding  chapters.  Of  course,  not  all 
the  elements  will  be  found  in  every  letter ;  and  the  em- 
phasis on  different  elements  will  vary  in  different  mem- 
bers of  the  series,  according  to  the  conditions  giving  rise 
to  a  particular  letter. 

If  the  prospect  has  sent  in  several  inquiries,  for 
example,  it  is  not  necessary  to  start  a  reply  with  a  para- 
graph intended  primarily  to  gain  his  attention.  You 
already  have  it.  He  may  want  only  explanation.  Or  if 
he  has  thoroughly  understood  the  article  and  terms  of 
sale,  the  letters  may  be  devoted  chiefly  to  persuasion,  or 
inducement. 

The  first  letter  of  a  series  is  frequently  more  com- 
prehensive than  the  later  ones,   for  it  must  contain 


SALES  FOLLOW-UP  LETTERS 

enough  information  to  give  the  reader  a  definite  idea  of 
the  article  or  proposition.  Hence  in  this  one  the  de- 
scription of  the  article  or  explanation  of  what  it  will  do 
is,  in  many  sales  series,  made  full  and  complete.  The 
later  letters  usually  contain  less  general  description,  and 
will  lay  emphasis  on  persuasion — show  the  reader  the  ben- 
efit he  will  derive  from  the  article — and  on  inducement. 
These  are,  of  course,  important  in  the  first  letter  also; 
and,  likewise,  a  fresh  statement  of  an  important  point 
or  points  in  the  description  is  not  out  of  place  in  any 
letter.  Each  letter  has  a  two-fold  purpose — ^to  make  the 
sale  and  to  pave  the  way  for  the  following  letters — and 
the  best  combination  to  accomplish  these  two  things  must 
be  determined  in  each  case  by  the  writer. 

The  length  of  the  letters  cannot  be  set  arbitrarily  for 
all  cases.  Theoretically,  the  ideal  length  would  be  not 
more  than  one  typewritten  page,  but  many  letters  of 
two  and  even  more  pages  have  been  effective.  Li  general 
it  may  be  said  that  a  first  letter  in  a  series  answering  an 
inquiry  may  safely  be  made  fairly  long.  The  reader  has 
indicated  his  interest,  and  if  the  correspondent  uses 
ordinary  care  and  skill,  he  should  be  able  to  write  a  de- 
tailed letter  without  sacrificing  that  interest.  The  length 
varies,  too,  with  the  class  of  readers;  as,  for  example,  a 
letter  to  a  farmer  may  usually  be  made  longer  than  one 
to  a  hurried  business  man.  However,  if  you  are  in  doubt 
as  to  the  proper  length  of  a  letter,  don't  guess — make  a 
test.  Then  you  will  have  definite  information  on  which 
to  base  your  judgment. 

We  have  spoken  of  the  value  of  testing  a  follow-up 
series,  both  as  to  the  length  of  the  letters  and  the  pulling 
power  of  the  different  arguments.  How  is  such  a  try- 
out  conducted?  Send  your  series  to  a  list  of  ^we  hun- 
dred or  a  thousand  names,  selected  from  localities  which 
you  think  represent  average  business  possibilities.  In 
this  selection  you  will  be  guided  by  your  experience  in 
previous  selling  campaigns,  by  the  reports  of  salesmen, 


129 

The  elements 
vary  in 
different 
letters  of  a 
series 


Length  of 
the  letters 


How  to 
conduct  a 
test 


p.i 


130 

Select 
average 
localities — 
not  the  best 
or  worst 


Have  similar 
conditions  in 
the  test  and 
the  big 
campaign 


''Keying'* 
the  replies 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

and  by  your  general  knowledge  of  business  conditions  in 
your  territory.  But  remember— don't  select  the  best 
localities  or  the  poorest;  select  the  average.  If  you  do 
this,  your  returns  from  the  test  should  represent  about 
the  proportion  of  replies  that  you  will  get  from  your 
complete  mailing  list— if  the  conditions  are  the  same. 

This  matter  of  conducting  the  test  and  the  complete 
campaign  under  similar  conditions,  is  important  The 
three  most  essential  considerations  to  keep  in  mind  are 
general  business  conditions,  local  conditions,  and  the 
time  when  the  prospect  receives  the  letters.  For  in- 
stance, if  the  test  is  made  during  a  period  of  business 
prosperity,  and  in  the  interim  between  the  test  and  the 
mailing  to  the  complete  list  some  event  occurs  which 
causes  a  retrenchment  among  business  men,  the  results 
of  your  test  will  not  agree  with  those  of  the  larger  list. 
The  same  will  be  true  if  a  local  drouth,  or  other  cause 
produces  hard  times  in  any  locality.  Also  the  number 
of  replies  will  vary  with  the  time  when  the  letter  reaches 
the  prospect.  If  it  is  mailed  so  as  to  be  on  his  desk 
on  Saturday— a  busy  day,  or  on  Monday  or  after  a  holi- 
day—when two  or  more  days'  mail  has  accumulated, 
the  replies  will  not  be  so  numerous  as  they  will  be  if  he 
gets  it  in  the  middle  of  the  week  or  at  a  time  when  no 
holiday  has  piled  up  his  work.  It  is  hardly  necessary  to 
add  that  if  the  follow-up  campaign  is  to  be  conducted 
in  the  fall,  the  test  should  not  be  made  in  the  spring  or 
early  summer.  This  all  means  that  if  the  results  of  your 
test  are  to  be  trustworthy,  the  conditions  must  be  prac- 
tically the  same  when  it  is  sent  as  when  the  complete  list 
is  mailed. 

When  the  replies  from  the  test  letters  come  in,  they 
must  be  carefully  tabulated.  For  this  purpose,  some  sys- 
tem of  *' keying"  the  letters  is  needed.  The  return  post 
card,  addressed  envelope,  or  other  similar  enclosures  fur- 
nish  the  easiest  means  of  doing  this.  The  enclosure  to  be 
returned  is  different  for  each  letter,  and  when  replies  are 


SALES  FOLLOW-UP  LETTERS 

received,  they  can  be  credited  to  the  proper  letter.  Fre- 
quently also  each  letter  of  a  series  requests  that  all  in- 
quiries or  orders  be  addressed  to  a  certain  clerk,  indi- 
cated by  a  real  or  fictitious  name,  or  to  a  certain  depart- 
ment, as  ** Department  A,"  etc.  When  the  name  of  a 
clerk  or  the  number  of  a  department  is  given,  the  cus- 
tomer is  likely  to  repeat  it  in  his  reply,  even  if  he  fails 
to  use  the  return  enclosure,  and  thus  the  inquiry  can  be 
assigned  to  the  letter  which  inspired  it. 

A  test  is  easy  to  conduct,  and  its  results  are  indica- 
tive to  a  high  degree  of  accuracy  of  the  returns  later 
from  the  complete  list.  With  such  a  convenient  and 
cheap  means  of  finding  out  the  weak  atid  strong  points 
in  your  follow-up  series,  there  is  no  excuse  for  the  reek- 
less  expenditure  of  money  on  expensive,  untried  cam- 
paigns. 

A  follow-up  campaign  could  not  be  carried  on  with- 
out form  letters.  The  ideal  follow-up  would  be  one  in 
which  the  correspondent  knew  personally  each  of  the 
prospects  to  whom  he  writes,  and  then  dictated  a  letter 
which  would  conform  to  the  individual  prejudices  and 
tastes  of  each  one.  But  the  realization  of  such  an  ideal 
is  impossible.  In  the  first  place  no  correspondent  could 
be  expected  to  know  even  a  small  percentage  of  100,000 
prospects,  and  if  he  did,  he  could  not  take  the  time  to 
dictate  a  special  letter  to  each.  Hence  a  follow-up  cam- 
paign is  dependent  on  forma  These  may  be  either  com- 
plete  letters  or  single  paragraphs.  The  former  are  used 
in  the  original  series — ^the  one  mailed  out  until  a  split 
occurs — and  also  in  handling  the  more  common  inquiries 
which  require  the  same  answer.  For  other  inquiries 
which  occur  frequently  but  in  different  combinations  in 
different  letters,  form  paragraphs  are  used.  One  is  pre- 
pared to  answer  each  individual  inquiry,  and  these  para- 
graphs can  be  combined  to  handle  any  given  set  of  ques- 
tions. 

The  objection  frequently  made  to  forms  is  that  they 


131 


Methods 
used  in 
keying'* 


« 


The  value  of 
the  test 


Follow-up 
campaigns 
are  made 
possible  by 
form  letters 


132 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 


SAliBS  FOLLOW-UP  LETTERS 


133 


I 


Forms  need 
not  be 
impersonal 


Manufactur- 
ers* farm^ 
supplied  to 
dealers 


Dealer  help 
Utter 


are  cold  and  impersonal.    However,  this  is  not  neces- 
sarily  true.    The  form  letter  can  be  made  to  convey  the 
impression  of  personal  interest  if  the  writer  will  keep  in 
mind  one  essential  point.    He  should  write  to  individ- 
uals, not  to  men  in  the  mass.    This  means,  not  that  he 
must  know  every  customer  personally,  but  that  he  should 
select  some  man  of  his  acquaintance  who  fairly  repre- 
sents a  certain  class  of  customers,  and  then,  visualizing 
this  man,  write  the  letter  as  if  he  were  talking  to  him. 
The  value  of  the  form  letter  written  for  the  individ- 
ual rather  than  the  mass  and  carrying  the  conviction  of 
a  personal  interest  is  recognized  by  many  manufacturing 
companies  in  promoting  their  sales.     These  companies 
make  a  practice  of  supplying  their  dealers  with  form 
letters  for  their  local  mailing-list.    Such  letters  may  or 
may  not  be  a  follow-up  series.    They  are,  of  course,  sales 
letters.    They  may  be  supplied  in  quantity  by  the  manu- 
facturer and  typed  on  stationery  bearing  both  his  name 
and  that  of  the  local  dealer,  or  they  may  be  typed  on 
the  stationery  of  the  local  store  and  carry  only  the 
dealer's  name.    These  letters  naturally  refer  to  the  man- 
ufacturer by  name  and  focus  on  his  product,  but  they 
are  always  worded  as  if  written  by  the  dealer.    A  num- 
ber of  clothing  and  shoe  companies  have  established  the 
practice  of  sending  their  dealers  such  letters  just  before 
the  vacation,  Easter,  or  Christmas  holiday  sales  cam- 
paigns. 

This  kind  of  form  letter  is  closely  allied  to  what  is 
commonly  called  the  dealer  help  letter.  This  form  of 
correspondence  is  highly  developed  by  companies  that 
advertise  extensively  and  whose  sales  policy  does  not 
stop  with  selling  to  the  dealer,  but  includes  helping  him 
to  sell  to  his  customer.  To  make  this  policy  yield  its 
largest  return,  the  cooperation  between  merchant  or  man- 
ufacturer and  dealer  needs  to  be  enthusiastic,  close  and 
constant.  After  reading  an  advertisement  the  prospect 
fills  in  the  attached  coupon  or  writes  a  letter  a^ing  for 


a  catalog,  or  sample,  or  information,  as  the  case  may  be. 
Two  courses  are  then  open  to  the  manufacturer.  He 
may  answer  the  inquiry  directly,  refer  the  prospect  to 
the  local  dealer,  send  the  latter  the  prospect's  name,  and 
consider  the  transaction  closed;  or  he  may  follow  up 
the  prospect  himself  with  a  series  of  letters,  urging  the 
advantages  of  his  product  and  of  the  service  of  the  dealer. 
At  the  same  time  the  dealer  is  in  a  position  to  seek  an 
interview  with  the  prospect,  verify  the  information  in 
the  letters,  and  close  the  sale.  By  this  second  course  the 
customer  is  under  a  double  fire,  as  it  were,  and  the 
chances  for  making  a  sale  are  increased.  The  cost  of  the 
sale  may  be  greater  and  the  margin  of  profit  smaller,  but 
this  may  be  offset  in  the  long  run  by  the  greater  number 
of  sales.  Which  course  shall  be  pursued  depends  very 
largely  on  the  business  itself. 

Too  often  where  companies  pursue  the  former  course, 
dismissing  the  prospect  with  one  letter  and  turning  him 
over  to  the  local  dealer,  the  prospect  gains  the  impres- 
sion that  the  manufacturer  wants  to  get  rid  of  him  as 
quickly  as  possible,  as  in  the  following  actual  letter : 

Dear  Sir: 

Replying  to  your  favor  of  recent  date,  we  beg  to  advise  that 
A.  W.  Kissler,  442  East  Cleland  St.,  has  the  sales  of  our  machines 
in  your  city  and  we  have  today  referred  your  inquiry  to  the  above 
named  dealer,  who  will  be  pleased  to  give  same  prompt  and  careful 
attention.  Thanking  you  for  this  inquiry  and  trusting  we  may 
receive  an  order  for  one  of  our  machines  through  this  dealer,  we 
remain. 

Now,  notice  the  contrast  with  the  following  dealer 
help  letter: 

Dear  Sir: 

Did  you  notice  when  you  read  the  advertisement  of  the 
Blackwell  marine  engine  that  we  left  out  one  mighty  important 
dimension  f  We  did.  It  covers  a  point  of  great  importance  in 
the  design  of  an  engine,  and  a  point  where  the  Blackwell  is 
particularly  strong,  tkat  is,  the  size,  strength  and  weight  of  the 
main  bearings.  Without  proper  bearings  no  engine  can  continue 
to  give  good  power,  good  service,  and  long  life. 

We  left  out  that  dimension  because  we  want  you  to  see  the 
bearings  for  yourself,  and  for  that  matter  you  want  to  see  the 
whole  engine,  too.  You  don't  have  to  wait  until  you  buy  the 
Blackwell  to  find  out  how  it  works.    Just  run  over  to  712  West 


Two  ways  o/ 
handling 
dealer  help 
letters 


How  a  letter 
can  deaden 
interest 


How  to 
stimulate 
greater 
interest 


134 


"Ginger-up 
letter"  to 
salesmen 


A  "roU  of 
honor*'  letter 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

Adams  St.  and  ask  for  Mr.  Fred  Price  of  W.  F.  Price  and  Sons. 
Mr.  Price  will  tell  you  all  about  the  bearings  and  let  you  run  the 
engine  yourself,  if  you  wish.  You  can  test  any  engine  he  has  in 
stock  and  buy  it  afterwards.    Isn't  that  a  fair  proposition f 

Mr.  Price  will  be  looking  for  you.  Later,  if  he  should  be  out 
of  the  city  at  any  time,  as  he  often  is,  his  brother,  George  Price, 
will  show  you  the  engine.  Write  to  us  again,  if  necessary,  and 
we  will  serve  you  in  any  way  possible. 

One  other  form  of  correspondence  may  be  men- 
tioned in  connection  with  sales  follow-up  letters.  It  is 
what  is  often  called  the  '* ginger-up  letter.''  Only  in- 
directly is  it  a  sales  letter.  One  of  the  difficult  problems 
a  sales  manager  must  solve  is  how  to  hold  his  salesmen 
to  the  same  keen  interest  in  their  work  that  marked  their 
days  of  training  in  the  home  office  before  they  were  sent 
''on  the  road."  One  way  to  do  this  is  through  the 
ginger-up  letter.  The  term  is  almost  self-explanatory. 
Anything  goes  into  the  letter— a  story,  a  bit  of  company 
news,  a  joke  perhaps,  a  clipping  from  the  trade  paper — 
anything  that  will  stimulate  the  salesman  and  thereby 
increase  sales,  anything  that  will  keep  alive  the  personal 
contact  between  manager  and  man,  provided  it  does  not 
endanger  the  manager's  control.    For  example : 

Dear  Mr.  MacNieol: 

John  Whitman  now  has  his  name  on  our  roll  of  honor. 

When  a  man  is  engaged  in  battle  and  does  an  heroic  deed, 
they  give  him  the  Iron  Cross  or  the  Victoria  Cross.  When  he  is 
engaged  in  the  battle  of  business,  he  is  entitled  to  honorable  men- 
tion when  he  does  something  unusual. 

The  story  of  Whitman 's  feat  of  salesmanship  is  this : 

He  called  on  a  customer  in  Kansas  and  learned  that  he  was 
ill  and  in  a  sanitarium  twenty-two  miles  away.  Whitman  could 
have  written  to  the  home  office  that  his  man  was  sick  and  proceeded 
about  his  business.  But  the  breath  of  battle  was  in  his  nostrils. 
He  wanted  an  order,  and  he  had  confidence  in  his  ability  to  get 
it.  Instead  of  riding  on  a  famous  black  charger  as  General 
Sheridan  did  at  Winchester,  Whitman  took  an  automobile  and 
drove  to  the  sanitarium. 

While  his  patient  lay  on  a  cot,  Whitman  sat  beside  him  and 
displayed  samples  and  models,  and  took  his  order.  After  a  while 
the  doctor  pulled  Whitman  away,  but  not  until  he  had  an  order 
for  $950  worth  of  goods.  Then  he  took  the  doctor  downstairs  and 
sold  him  a  suit. 

We  think  you  will  agree  that  this  is  an  evidence  of  enterprise, 
resource,  and  courage*. 


CHAPTER  XIV 


NEWS  VALUE 


THEEE  is  on©  impression  that  you  want  your  letter 
invariably  to  give— you  want  it  to  appear  as  a  **to- 
day"  product,  a  strictly  live,  up-to-the-minute  communi- 
cation from  one  man  to  another.  And  there  is  one  way 
that  you  can  give  it  this  liveness  better  than  any  other- 
give  it  news  value. 

What  the  world  wants  and  has  wanted  since  the  be- 
ginning is  news.  The  business  world  is  no  exception.  If 
you  can  tell  a  man  something  new,  particularly  some- 
thing that  has  a  relation  to  his  business,  you  can  get  his 
attention  and  interest.  Put  the  information  into  your 
letter,  give  it  a  sales  twist,  and  you  can  make  of  it  a 
correspondence  asset. 

News  as  used  in  sales  correspondence  is  of  two  kinds. 
You  can  take  some  live  public  topic,  a  good  piece  of 
newspaper  news  that  you  know  must  be  familiar  to  the 
man  addressed,  and  give  it  an  application  that  will  boost 
your  own  goods.  That's  one  brand  of  sales  letter  news, 
and  it  makes  your  paper  talk  bristle  with  up-to-date- 
ness. 

Or  you  can  give  your  prospect  a  bit  of  trade  news, 
some  item  connected  with  his  business  and  yours.  This 
is  of  particular  sales  value,  because  when  you  approach 


News  ttories 
make  letters 
alive  and 
up40'date 


Twokinde 
of  news: 
public  iopiei 
and  trade 
news 


136 


PubHeiopicM 


Two 

examples  of 
ifffective  use 


M 


JN 


Miscellanea 
ous  topics  of 
interest  to 
readers 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

a  man  tactfuUy  abont  his  business,  you  are  sure  to  touch 
a  responsive  chord. 

The  first  kind  of  news— the  live  public  topic— you 
wiU  draw  chiefly  from  the  daily  papers.  News  of  this 
sort  can  be  pressed  into  service  by  any  man  who  sells  his 
goods  through  letters. 

A  watch  manufacturer,  for  example,  wrote : 

One  of  the  last  things  that  Commodore  Peary  did  before 
sailmgon  the  expedition  that  found  the  Pole  was  to  purchase  a 
-——-watch.  Could  you  imagine  a  stronger  testimonial  to 
Uonai **  *  perfect  timekeeper  under  all  climatic  condi- 

There  is  news,  human  interest,  and  an  abundance  of 
proof  in  a  reference  like  that.  It  makes  the  letter  live 
primarily,  and  it  also  carries  more  conviction  as  to  qual- 
ity than  could  volumes  of  argument 

Here  is  the  way  a  retailer  with  a  clever  turn  of  mind 
made  use  of  a  local  disaster: 

Dear  Mr.  Henderson: 

No  doubt  you  read  in  the  Journal  Monday  that  the  dweUine 
house  of  Mrs.  Fmdlay,  on  Front  Street,  was  destroyed  by  fire.  The 
F^nHW  J^""^-  ^^  -^^l  explosion  of  a  gasoline  stove  which  Mrs. 
Fmdlay  waa  using  m  her  work.  In  attempting  to  extinguish  the 
f^^J^"^'  Fmdlay  was  badly  burned  on  the  face  and  hands 
t2fi&^  ^  ^  ""^^^  ""^  destroyed,  and  tiie  loss  wiU  reach 

«.«  ^LT'^u^  "^^^J.***  ^y  *^^-  **^*  ^  Mrs.  Findlay  had  had  a 
gas  range,  this  would  not  have  happened.  A  gas  range  is  safer 
^d  much  cheaper  than  gasoline.  N^w  is  the  time  tf  buy^our' 
wife  a  gas  range  and  make  her  work  a  pleasure,  and  her  life  secure. 

Accounts  of  injuries  and  deaths  through  accidents 
can  be  used  to  good  advantage  in  accident  and  life  in- 
surance  letters.  Burglaries,  particularly  local  ones, 
make  strong  appeals  in  letters  from  locksmiths,  hard- 
ware dealers,  burglary  insurance  men,  bank  and  safe  de- 
posit men.  News  items  regarding  impure  water  can  be 
made  use  of  by  the  dealer  in  filters.  There  are  a  thou- 
sand opportunities  for  the  retailer,  or  any  other  man,  to 
make  his  letters  live  (page  137). 

The  other  kind  of  news— trade  news— may  be  found 
in  your  everyday  work  or  your  trade  paper.    After  aU, 


NEWS  VALUE 


Dear  Sir: 

Did  you  read  this  clipping 
about  the  boy  bandits?  It  sub- 
stantiates our  claim  for  ease  of 
control  £Uid  flexibility,  £ind 
shows  that  during  the  chase  the 
young  bandits  traveled 74  miles, 
making  fifteen  starts  and  stops. 
The  matter  of  turns  and  other 

Kerf ormances  proves  that  the 
orth  Star  automobile  is  the 
most  easily  controlled  car  on 
the  market  today. 

The  car  was  driven  over  a 
curb,  down  an  embankment,  and 
across  a  vacant  lot  without 
injuring  the  tires  or  steering 
connections,  and  without  break- 
ing the  springs.  In  attempting 
to  follow  it,  the  motorcycle 
policemen  smashed  their  tires 
in  jumping  the  curb.  This 
proves  that  the  wonderful  tire 
mileage  North  Star  owners  are 
securing  is  not  a  question  of 
luck,  but  an  engineering  feat 
of  more  than  passing  note. 

Shall  we  explain  to  you 
the  flexible  construction  of 
the  North  Star  and  show  why 
this  performance  was  possible? 

Yours  truly. 


137 


Compda 
atteiUion 


Forcttfid 
description 
focused  on 
the  goods 


Ends  quickly  in 
u  strong 
climax 


PUTTING  NEWS  VALUE  TO  WORK 

With  this  letter  was  enclosed  a  newspaper  clipping  describing  a  chase  by 
the  Chicago  police  of  a  band  of  young  robbers  who  had  stolen  an  automobile,  and 
had  used  it  in  a  series  of  daring  robberies.  The  manufacturer  made  the  incident 
the  text  for  a  convincing  demonstration  of  the  strength  of  his  car. 


las 


Trade  news 
— always  of 
value 


V 


Examples 


: 


A  novel  use 
of  advance 
notices  of 
styles 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

it  is  simply  a  matter  of  telling  your  man  something  of 
newsy  interest  about  your  goods.  It  may  be  a  new 
model  you  are  putting  on  the  market,  a  new  service  you 
can  give  the  dealer  or  the  user.  Again  it  may  be  simply 
advice  as  to  coming  fashions,  or  a  suggestion  as  to  the 
best  method  of  handling  certain  goods.  If  it  is  given  the 
news  turn,  it  gets  the  interest.  For  the  retailer  who 
uses  the  mails  to  keep  in  touch  with  his  customers  or  for 
the  manufacturer  or  wholesaler  following  up  his  trade, 
this  is  the  kind  of  news  that  counts  most. 

Here,  for  instance,  is  a  newsy  letter  from  a  fork 
manufacturer  to  a  retailer.  It  is  good  because  it  gives 
him  an  idea  that  he  probably  has  not  thought  of  before, 
and  best  of  all,  it  has  practical  value : 

Dear  Mr.  Dealer: 

When  business  is  slow,  and  you  have  some  time  on  jour  hands 
one  of  these  warm  days,  wouldn't  it  pay  vou  to  telephone  every 
coal  dealer  in  your  town,  and  try  to  get  his  order  for  coal  and 
coke  forks f 

Next  season 's  supply  of  fuel  will  be  largely  delivered  to  resi- 
dences during  the  remainder  of  the  summer,  and  the  haulers  wiU 
need  forks. 

Here  is  our  heavy  goods  catalogue,  showing  all  patterns  and 
sizes.  Please  write  us  if  your  jobber  cannot  supply  you  with 
whatever  you  want. 

Every  housewife  wants  to  know  what  the  store  has 
in  the  way  of  new  goods  that  she  can  use.  She  is  glad 
when  a  Montana  grocer  writes  her  thus : 

The  first  shipment  of  that  delicious  white  plume  celery  ar- 
rived by  express  today  from  Kalamazoo,  and  although  it  came  a 
long  way,  it  is  just  as  crisp  and  fresh  as  when  it  left  the  celery 
city.  Just  call  up  72,  and  we  '11  send  over  as  much  as  you  want  at 
ten  cents  a  bunch. 

Advance  notices  of  coming  styles  are  especially  good 
news  items  for  the  lady  customer ;  and  if  she  gets  them 
in  a  letter,  she  will  be  far  more  impressed  with  the  store 
that  writes  her  than  she  ever  would  be  through  read- 
ing them  in  its  newspaper  advertising  One  storeman 
managed  this  matter  very  effectively  by  sending  a  list 
of  names  of  lady  customers  to  its  Paris  buyer  and  having 
style  letters  sent  from  there  direct.    The  novelty  of  get- 


NEWS  VALUE 


139 


ting  those  personal  letters  from  abroad,  combined  with 
the  actual  news  value,  brought  results. 

What  you  consider  just  common  things  may  be  news  News  drawn 
to  other  people.    For  instance,  here  is  the  way  a  laundry  Ao^  2/owr 
man  makes  news  out  of  his  methods  of  doing  work: 


Dear  Mr.  Norton: 

You  11  often  find  among  your  new  laundered  collars,  some  that 
are  scratched  or  blistered  on  the  seam.  (That  is,  unless  we  do 
your  laundry  work.)  It  is  not  a  necessary  evil,  either.  The  ex- 
planation is  simple.  The  seams  of  a  double-fold  or  wing  pomt 
should  be  evenly  dampened  before  folding.  Otherwise  it  blisters 
or  cracks.  We  have  a  machine  to  dampen  those  seams.  It  must 
dampen  evenly,  for  it  does  it  with  mechanical  precision.  So  you 
will  get  no  cracked  collars  back  from  us. 

Just  step  to  the  telephone  and  call  up  Main  427,  and  your 
laundry  will  be  ready  for  use  whenever  you  want  it. 

And  here  is  another  letter  that  gets  the  idea,  this 

from  a  bird  fancier : 

Dear  Sir: 

We  have  just  received  a  consignment  of  St.  Andreasberg 
Roller  Canaries  which  we  can  offer  you  at  the  special  price  of 
$3.50.  These  birds  are  really  a  second  grade  of  Golden  Opera 
Singer.  During  their  course  of  training  some  birds  make  mis- 
takes—others take  up  false  notes.  We  call  such  birds  St  Andreas- 
berg Boilers.  They  sing  just  as  often  as  the  first  grade  birds,  and 
they  all  sing  at  night;  but  each  bird  has  some  slight  imperfection 
in  his  song. 

Now,  personally,  I  have  no  possible  use  for  a  canary, 
but  this  man  almost  sold  me  a  bird  simply  because,  with 
what  was  news  to  me,  he  got  me  deeply  interested. 

Just  keep  this  matter  of  news  value  in  mind  when 
you  run  through  the  letters  that  come  to  your  desk  to- 
morrow. Although  you  may  never  have  stopped  to 
analyze  it  before,  you  will  find  that  the  man  who  tells 
you  something  new,  the  man  that  throws  into  his  mes- 
sage some  bit  of  live,  up-to-now  information — ^that  man 
gets  your  interest. 

,  Put  the  idea  to  use  yourself.  You  will  find  news 
making  your  dull,  dry  correspondence  sparkling  with 
life.  You  will  find  it  giving  new  pulling  power  to 
letters  that  have  been  going  to  the  discard. 


own 

methods  of 
doing  work 


A  letter  on 
canaries 


News 

interest  will 
enliven 
otherwise 
dead  letters 


CHAPTER  XV 


GIVING  YOUR  LETTERS 
PERSONALITY 


The  sales- 
man with  a 
personality 
is  the  one 
who  gets  the 
orders 


The  sales 
letter  also 
must  have 
personality 


il 


YOU  have  a  new  line  of  goods  to  introduce,  and  you 
advertise  for  salesmen  to  handle  them  on  the  road. 
Most  of  the  applicants  are  ordinary  in  speech,  ordi- 
nary in  appearance,  and  obviously  of  ordinary  ability. 
A  few  stand  out  from  the  others.  Their  speech  is  force- 
ful, they  have  the  knack  of  presenting  an  idea  in  a  new 
and  interesting  manner,  they  give  the  impression  of 
being  resourceful,  of  being  able  to  adapt  themselves  to 
any  conditions.  They  are  alive  and  aggressive.  They 
have  personality.    Which  men  will  you  hire? 

Why,  then,  be  content  with  the  ordinary,  the  com- 
monplace, sales  letter  as  your  traveling  representative? 
Why  expect  it  to  be  successful  when  you  are  afraid  to 
employ  the  ordinary  salesman  who  is  lacking  in  person- 
ality ?    The  same  principle  applies  to  both. 

If  you  expect  your  campaign  by  mail  to  get  big 
results,  you  must  make  your  letters  distinctive  and  in- 
dividual. Give  them  a  personal  touch.  The  ordinary 
letter  has  no  individuality,  no  personality.  And,  like 
the  salesman  without  personality,  it  cannot  arouse  the 
interest  and  desire  of  the  customer.  We  say  of  such  a 
man  that  he  is  ** uninteresting.'*  So  is  the  letter.  The 
letters  on  pages  142  and  143  illustrate  the  difference. 


PERSONALITY 

The  letter  with  a  personality,  then,  must  be  original 
in  thought  and  expression.  Read  a  dozen  sales  letters 
that  were  placed  on  your  desk  this  morning,  and  what  do 
you  find  in  the  majority  of  them?  The  same  stock  ideas 
clothed  in  the  same  colorless  and  obsolete  phraseology. 
Apparently  the  writers  not  only  did  not  care  to  be  orig- 
inal, but  actually  tried  to  make  their  letters  conform  to 
the  old  obsolete  forms.  Seemingly,  their  only  anxiety 
was  to  show  that  they  were  fully  accredited  graduates  of 
the  **We-beg-to-advise''  school  of  correspondence. 

We  have  already  discussed  the  evils  of  the  stereo- 
typed beginning  and  close  of  the  business  letter  in  gen- 
eral (page  10).  What  was  said  there  applies  to  all 
business  letters,  but  it  is  especially  true  of  the  sales 
letter.  In  the  latter  it  is  doubly  important  that  you 
should  be  careful  to  avoid  anything  that  will  deaden  in- 
terest, for  the  success  of  your  effort  to  sell  to  a  man 
depends  on  your  arousing  and  keeping  his  interest. 

In  the  body  of  your  letter,  too,  strive  to  get  a  distinc- 
tive touch  that  will  attract  the  attention  of  your  reader. 
For  instance,  compare  the  two  following  letters.  Ob- 
serve the  stilted  style  of  this  tiresome,  long-drawn-out 

sentence : 

Our  connections  are  snch  as  to  make  it  possible  for  you  to 
place  your  order  with  us  right  here  in  the  city,  where  we  can  show 
you  the  goods  and  demonstrate  the  eflSciency  of  our  ears,  and  we 
hope  that  just  as  soon  as  you  receive  the  catalogue  you  will  look 
it  over  carefully  and  make  it  a  point  to  call  at  our  sales  room 
which  is  connected  with  our  general  offices,  and  give  us  an  oppor- 
tunity to  show  you  what  our  cars  will  do. 

And  then  turn  to  the  refreshing  ease  of  expression  in 
this  from  a  local  tailor : 

Do  you  know  that  Henry  has  been  cutting  clothes  for  some 
of  Atlanta's  best  dressers  for  the  last  ten  years,  and  that  many 
of  our  old  customers  run  in  from  out  of  town  just  to  get  that 
perfection  of  fit  that  they  know  only  Henry  can  give  themt  This 
is  just  an  indication  of  the  confidence  particular  dressers  have  in 
our  ability  to  give  clothes  comfort  and  satisfaction. 

Here  the  writer  has  even  referred  to  his  cutter  by 
name.    The  ordinary  writer,  if  he  mentioned  the  cutter 


141 

Letter 
personality 
means  partly 
originality 


It  dispenses 
with  the 
stereotyped 
beginning 
and  end 


It  requires 
freshness  of 
expression 


11 


142 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 


Failt  to  touch 
the  reader* s 
interest 


The  only 
epecific  material 
in  the  letter 


Indifferent 
toealeM 


I 


Unconvincing 


«• 


We  hope"  but 
don't  care  very 
much 


Dear  Sir: 

Such  good  results  were  obtained  by  our 
customers  using  Reedman's  Nitrogen  Fertil- 
izer l£ist  year  that  we  have  arranged  to 
increase  our  capacity  for  production  this 
year.  A  large  proportion  of  those  who  used 
it  last  year  have  voluntarily  written  us 
giving  us  an  account  of  increased  crops 
obtained  through  its  use.  We  have  arranged 
for  the  production  of  a  larger  amount  this 
season  and  accordingly  have  decided  to 
reduce  the  price  on  larger  orders. 

In  the  future  our  five  acre  bottles 
will  be  furnished  for  S6.00  instead  of  $9.00 
as  heretofore.  Fifty  acres  will  be  fur- 
nished at  one  time  for  $55.00  and  one  hun- 
dred acres  at  one  time  for  $100.00.  The 
price  for  single  acres  remains  the  same  — 
and  the  garden  size  50c. 

It  is  important  that  you  send  us  your 
order  as  promptly  as  possible  that  we  may 
have  the  nitrogen  prepared  and  shipped 
from  the  laboratory  to  you  quickly  when 
you  want  it. 

Spring  planting  is  now  coming  on,  so 
that  you  should  have  the  nitrogen  on  hand, 
ready  for  use  when  the  weather  is  Just 
right.  Reedman's  Fertilizer  is  the  best 
and  cheapest  way  for  you  to  increase  this 
year's  crops. 

We  enclose  booklet  and  order  blank 
which  we  hope  you  will  use  now  without 
laying  it  aside. 

Yours  truly. 


A  LETTER  WITHOUT  PERSONALITY 

Here  is  an  actual  example  of  how  not  to  write  a  sales  letter.  This  letter  is 
totally  lacking  in  personality  and  in  appeal.  There  is  no  sequence  of  thought,  or 
climax.  The  writer  actually  closes  the  letter  by  suggesting  to  the  prospect  tho 
very  action  that  he  does  not  wish  him  to  taka. 


PERSONALITY 


143 


Dear  Sir: 

Have  you  heard  what  Matthew  Harper  did, 
over  on  his  farm  near  Sherrington? 

For  three  years  Mr.  Harper  had  been 
trying  to  get  catches  of  clover  and  alfalfa, 
but  the  clover  came  up  better  than  the 
alfalfa.  Both  were  thin  in  spots,  and  each 
year  the  scorching  August  sun  burned  them 
both  out.  Then  he  heard  about  Alfaclo, 
which  is  only  a  trade  name  for  the  nitrogen 
germs  (in  liquid  form)  which  all  clovers 
and  alfalfas  demand.  He  tried  out  a  bottle 
on  his  seed  —  and  he  got  better  results 
than  he  ever  dreamed  of.  He  got  three 
cuttings  of  alfalfa,  his  clover  was  un- 
usually heavy,  and  he  received  12  to  14 
pounds  more  of  cream  per  week  from  the  same 
cattle  this  winter  thcin  he  did  last! 

Read  the  enclosed  booklet.  It  tells 
you  why  Mr.  Harper  used  Alfaclo. 

Alfaclo  is  alfalfa  and  clover  insur- 
ance. Figure  up  the  cost  of  how  much  you 
actually  lose,  if  you  do  get  a  catch  and 
then  it  winter  kills,  or  burns  up,  or  comes 
up  so  thin  that  you  have  to-  plant  it  all 
over  again.  It  is  a  good  investment  to  pay 
$2.00  an  acre  for  Alfaclo  and  to  know  your 
seed  is  properly  inoculated. 

To  get  you  acquainted  with  Alfaclo  we 
enclose  our  coupon  check.  It  is  good  for 
50  cents  worth  of  new  garden  seeds  with 
every  bottle  of  Alfaclo. 

Your  order  sent  by  mail  will  receive 
Just  as  careful  attention  as  if  you  came  in 
person  to  one  of  our  stores.  All  you  have 
to  do  is  to  fill  out  the  enclosed  order 
blemk.  Check  the  kind  of  garden  seeds  you 
want  and  the  number  of  bottles  of  Alfaclo, 
and  mail  it  today. 

Yours  very  truly. 


Piques  curiosity 
in  easy,  conver- 
sational  style 


Touches 
reader's  own 
problem 


Proof 


Persuasion 


Inducement 


Easy  to  order 


HOW  GOOD  PERSONALITY  PRODUCES  BUSINESS 

Here  also  is  an  actual  sales  letter,  offering  the  same  article  as  the  letter  ou 
the  opposite  page.  Curiosity  is  piqued  in  the  first  sentence,  and  the  reader's 
interest  held  through  to  the  very  last  sentence.  All  the  elements  of  the  sales 
letter  are  carefully  developed  through  the  paragraphs.    The  letter  is  convincing. 


144 


The  per- 
sonality  of 
the  letter 
must  be 
pleasing 


A  pleasing 
letter 

persojiality 
depends 
largely  on 
the  man-do- 
man 
attitude 


Note  the 
friendly 
interest 
in  this  letter 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

at  all,  would  have  spoken  of  him  simply  as  an  employee. 
But  this  man  recognized  the  value  of  the  distinctive 
touch.    Which  letter  gets  your  attention? 

Thus  far  we  have  been  considering  the  value  of  orig- 
inality or  individuality  in  the  letter.  But  there  is  an- 
other element  in  letter  personality.  Go  back  to  your 
salesman.  It  is  not  enough  for  him  to  have  a  striking 
personality — it  must  be  attractive  and  pleasing  as  well. 
The  egotist  *s  is  usually  a  strong  personality,  for  he  is 
likely  to  have  opinions  of  his  own.  However,  he  is  so 
engrossed  with  his  own  affairs  that  he  has  no  place  for 
other  men's  interests.  A  salesman  of  this  sort  will  not 
sell  many  goods.  Likewise  a  letter  may  have  a  striking 
personality — ^be  original,  distinctive,  clever — and  yet  fail 
to  land  the  orders.  It  will  fail  if  it  takes  the  wrong 
attitude — if  it  emphasizes  the  writer's  interests  instead 
of  the  customer's. 

The  chief  element  which  gives  the  letter  the  right 
kind  of  personality  is  the  man-to-man  attitude  assumed 
by  the  correspondent  toward  the  reader.  This  attitude 
is  partly  the  result  of  putting  the  **you  element"  in 
your  letter  (see  the  following  chapter).  The  '*you  ele- 
ment" requires  that  you  shall  talk  of  the  customer's 
needs  and  show  him  how  your  article  wiU  meet  those 
needs  (page  145).  But  the  man-to-man  attitude  means 
more  than  that.  To  use  it  successfully,  you  must  talk  of 
his  needs  as  if  you  were  interested  in  them  and  wanted 
to  help  hiuL  You  must  show  a  friendly  interest  in  his 
affairs.  That  is  what  attracts  you  in  a  man,  and  it  is 
equally  effective  in  a  letter.  The  following  letter  to  a 
banker  strikes  this  note  successfully : 

Dear  Mr.  Brown: 

As  soon  as  I  learned  the  other  day  that  your  bank  was  making 
special  efforts  to  secure  more  depositors  this  winter,  I  had  the 
manager  of  our  printing  department  get  the  enclosed  proof  for 
you. 

It  is  really  the  most  significant  announcement  that  has  been 
made  to  American  bankers  in  years.  And  even  though  it  is  being 
printed  in  some  of  the  big  magazines,  where  you  might  see  it,  I 


PERSONALITY 


145 


Dear  Sir: 

I  think  if  I  lived  away 
from  the  seashore  and  somebody 
wrote  me,  offering  to  send  me 
fish  right  from  the  boats,   I'd 
be  mighty  pleased.  I'd  jump  at 
the  chance  to  get  it. 

Perhaps  it's  because  I'm 
80  very  fond  of  good  fish, 
mackeral,  codfish,  and  other 
kinds.  But  I  don't  believe  I'm 
an  exception  —  almost  every- 
body I  know  likes  good  fish. 
You  do,  don't  you? 

Then  why  not  let  me  send 
you  some  of  my  kind?  You'll 
find  it  altogether  different 
from  the  store  kind  —  differ- 
ent because  it  does  come  to 
your  kitchen  right  from  the 
fishing  boats. 

My  circular  describes  each 
kind  fully  and  gives  the  deliv- 
ered prices. 

All  there  is  for  you  to  do 
is  to  tell  me  on  the  order  blank 
what  to  send. 

Yours  very  truly. 


Eoiy  reading 
and  happy 
ttyU 


AU  the  "r* 
interest  leadi 
up  to  a  strong 
**you**  interesi 


Short  para- 
graphs help  to 
hold  attention 
to  the  end 


EVEN  FRESH  FISH  CAN  BE  SOLD  BY  LETTER 

With  this  letter  a  fishing  company  on  the  Atlantic  seaboard  sold  fresh  fish 
to  city  folks  living  in  Illinois.  This  chatty  letter  is  a  good  example  of  the  manner 
in  which  a  correspondent  may  use  "I''  and  yet  express  interest  in  **yon."  The 
tone  of  the  letter  is  distinctly  one  of  interest  in  the  customer  'a  needs. 


146 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 


Cam09  convie- 
tion  from  the 
•tart 


Termpting 
deterifHon 


Strong 
persuasion 


D«ar  Sir: 

Commodore  and  Mayor  William  Halt 
Thompson  was  right,  when  he  said.  "Chicago, 
the  greatest  summer  resort  city  in  the 
world,  has  become  a  reality". 

When  I  bought  the  "Sea-Gull"  last  fall 
I  for  one  looked  forward  to  the  most  plea- 
surable spring,  summer,  and  fall  that  I  had 
ever  had— and  I  had  it,  right  here  in 
Chicago. 

You  see,  with  a  boat,  you  don't  have 
to  follow  any  hot,  narrow  road,  bounce  over 
bumps,  pay  for  new  tires,  or  "eat  other 
peoples'  dust"  as  you  do  in  an  automobile. 
You  are  out  on  the  broad,  clear  waters  of 
the  lake,  with  the  city  in  perspective, 
your  friends  gu'ound  you,  an  ice  box  full 
of  cool  ginger  ale  or  something  else  down 
below,  if  you  want  it,  bunks,  lockers, 
toilet,  electric  lights,  comfortable  chairs 
to  sit  in,  room  to  move  around,  power  to 
take  you  anywhere  you  want  to  go — I  don't 
ask  for  anything  better. 

»^  ,^  learned  how  to  run  the  two-cylinder 
"fool-proof"  engine  in  an  hour.  It  runs 
like  a  clock,  and  drives  her  along  hour 
after  hour  at  a  nice  clean  eight-mile  clip. 
With  one-man  control — throttle,  spark, 
lights,  etc.,  accessible  from  the  steering 
wheel,  you  feel  like  a  "regular"  monarch, 
as  you  "roam  the  trackless  deep"  with  no 
limitations  or  restrictions  except  your  own 
inclinations. 

..   After  the  first  wonderful  cruises  on 
the  l£ike — steering  the  boat  to  any  desired 
destination  that  fancy  dictated,  Jackson 


HOW  A  BOAT  WAS  SOLD  BY  MAIL 

An  advertising  man  who  owned  the  ''Sea-GulP'  wrote  this  letter  and  sent 
it  to  a  selected  list  of  prospects.  He  sold  his  boat  to  good  advantage.  Inquiriet 
continued  to  come  in.  He  took  these  to  a  boat  broker  and  under  an  agreement 
with  him  received  a  commission  of  $50  on  each  deal  closed  by  the  broker.    The 


PEBSONALITY 


147 


Park  Harbor,  Gary.  Michigan  City.  Wilmette. 
Belmont  Harbor,  down  the  river  to  Lookport. 
up  the  north  branch  through  the  new  drain- 
age oanal  to  Wilmette.  then  out  in  the  lake 
and  back  to  Chicago,  or  Just  out  around  the 
municipal  pier  for  an  hour  in  the  evening 
with  a  party  of  friends  before  tying  up  at 
the  mooring  for  a  picnic  supper  and  evening 
of  pleasure  in  the  clear  bracing  air — I 
found  that  my  whole  point  of  view,  my 
philosophy,  my  health,  my  pleasure  and  Joy 
in  life,  seemed  to  have  taken  on  a  broader 
character. 

To  my  mind  the  "Sea-Gull"  is  the 
staunchest.  most  sea-worthy,  the  best-built 
and  the  most  satisfactory  boat  that  I  have 
seen  around  Chicago.  I  keenly  regret  that 
I  must  sell  it. 

The  boat  cost  over  $5,000  to  build. 
She  is  built  extra  strong  all  the  way 
through  with  very  complete  equipment  and 
with  solid  mahogany  upper  works  and  inter- 
ior finish — and  you  could  not  duplicate  the 
boat  anywhere  as  a  second  hand  value  for  a 
cent  less  than  $2,000.  The  fall  is  the 
slack  season  however,  and  I  will  let  her  go 
for  $1,150  for  a  sale  made  before  Christmas. 

Wouldn't  you  consider  buying  the 
"Sea-Gull"? 

Just  drop  me  a  line  or  phone  me  any 
time,  and  I  will  be  glad  to  show  you  the 
"Sea-Gull". 

Yours  very  truly. 


Psrsuaaion 


ExjdanaHon 
thai  prieparet 
prospect  for 
reduced  price 


Summarjf 


Proqf&ffered 
ihrowfh  per' 
ionafinsveetum 


letter  was  reprinted  with  favorable  comment  in  a  well-known  magazina,  and  read 
by  the  president  of  a  large  eastern  corporation  who  called  the  writer  by  telephone, 
arranged  for  an  interview  and  offered  him  the  position  of  western  advertising 
manager  with  a  large  increase  in  salary.  The  offer  was  accepted.  This  is  only 
one  example  of  the  interesting  history  that  surrounds  many  eales  letters.  Tempting 
description,  strong  persuasion,  and  enthusiasm  give  the  letter  a  striking  personality. 


I 


148 

This 
friendly 
attitude 
hegets 
himds 


But  the 
friendly 
interest  rmud 
not  he 
obtrusive 


The  letter 
vnth  a 
personality 
is  distinctive 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

am  having  this  special  proof  sent  to  jou  direct  so  that  no  circum- 
stance can  deprive  you  of  the  opi)ortunit7  it  offers. 

Here  is  a  chance  to  secure — in  complete,  worked  out  form — 
the  exact,  practical  plan  you  need  to  double  or  triple  your  busi- 
ness— etc. 

If  you  were  a  banker,  would  that  letter  get  by  you? 
It  might,  but  I  doubt  it,  for  the  moment  you  start  to 
read  the  letter  you  must  realize  that  someone  is  talking 
to  you  about  a  matter  that  is  very  important  to  you,  and 
is  talking  as  though  he  could  help  you  and  wanted  to 
do  it 

Of  course,  this  friendly  interest  must  not  be  made 
obtrusive.  The  degree  of  intimacy  that  you  would  use 
in  a  letter  to  a  personal  friend  would  be  objectionable 
in  a  business  letter  to  a  stranger  or  even  to  an  acquaint- 
ance. But  if  the  offer  is  made  tactfully,  it  is  human 
nature  to  warm  up  to  such  an  appeal. 

Try  this  appeal  in  your  next  sales  letter,  and  watch 
the  results.  The  letter  with  a  personality— original,  dis- 
tinctive, and  written  with  this  man-to-man  touch — ^will 
untie  the  wallet  strings  where  the  custom-made  letter 
goes  to  the  basket  It  gets  the  business  where  the  cold, 
formal,  and  impersonal  communication  falls  on  deaf 
ears.  And  this  is  true  because  the  letter  with  a  person- 
ality is  "different."  The  letter  on  pages  146  and  147  is 
a  striking  example. 


CHAPTER  XVI 


THE  *TOU"  INTEREST 


You  would  probably  leap  up  in  burning  wrath  if,  to- 
morrow, you  could  see  your  sales  letters  kindling 
a  hundred  morning  fires.  At  least  you  would  want  to 
know  why  your  sales  letters  interest  only  the  man  who 
empties  the  waste-basket— why  they  fail  in  their  appeal 
to  the  man  who  counts,  the  man  whom  you  expected  to 
make  a  customer. 

If  you  are  to  find  the  answer  to  this  question,  you 
must  sit  down  and  analyze  your  correspondence.  You 
may  find  several  faults,  any  one  of  which  is  perhaps 
enough  to  kill  a  letter.  But  unless  you  have  the  point  in 
mind,  you  may  overlook  an  apparently  simple  fault- 
simple  because  the  word  at  issue  is  so  small  and  seem- 
ingly insignificant.  The  effect,  however,  is  not  insig- 
nificant, for  this  little  word  indicates  a  mistaken  point 
of  view,  a  totally  wrong  attitude  toward  the  prospect. 
'  As  you  analyze  your  correspondence,  see  if  there  is 
not  too  much  '-we"  in  the  opening  paragraph.  Then, 
as  you  push  your  investigation  into  the  body  of  the 
letter,  underscore  each  *  *  we '  *  as  you  come  to  it.  Haven  *t 
you  literally  peppered  your  letter  with  this  word!  If 
you  have,  there  is  one  answer  to  your  question. 

From  the  beginning  to  the  end,  the  average  letter 


Why  do  your 
sales  Utiera 
go  to  the 
reader*8 
waste- 
basket? 


See  if  they 
haveuH  too 
much  "we** 
in  them 


150 


The  reader 
looks  for 
^'you"  md 


A  tailor  who 
forgot  *'you** 


I 


A  manufac- 
turer who 
saw  only  his 
product 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

consists  of  **we"  have  this  to  offer,  **we"  contemplate 
this,  and  **we"  intend  to  do  that.  But  what  does  the 
reader  care  about  what '  *  we  * '  do  ?  How  are  his  interests 
affected  by  a  statement  regarding  *'ours"t  The  words 
that  interest  him  most  in  a  letter  are  **you*'  and 
* 'yours/' 

Forgetting  this,  the  correspondent  kills  a  hearing 
because  he  begins  talking  about  his  firm  instead  of  about 
the  reader,  about  **we*'  instead  of  about  *'you/'  For 
example,  a  clothier  writes  me  a  letter : 

We  are  showing  the  most  attractive  line  of  spring  and  sum- 
mer woolens  in  the  city.  We  assure  you  that  the  cue  of  every  gar- 
ment will  be  the  latest  and  up-to-the-minute  in  style.  We  pride 
ourselves  on  the  reputation  we  have  made  as  the  outfitters  of  the 
best  dressed  men  in  the  city,  and  we  know  that  if  you  will  give 
us  a  call,  we  can  satisfy  you. 

The  writer  of  that  letter  was  thinking  more  about 
his  firm  than  he  was  about  me  and  my  needs.  **We,'* 
not  **you,"  was  the  important  topic  with  him. 

Now  suppose  this  writer  had  said : 

Mr.  Smith,  do  you  spend  $15  more  than  you  need  to  for  a 
suit  of  clothes?  Let  us  prove  that  this  is  the  case  by  making  you 
just  as  stylish  and  as  wearable  a  suit  for  $35  as  you  have  been 
paying  $50  for.  You  will  look  better  and  feel  better  in  the 
clothes,  and  at  the  same  time  you  will  be  saving  money. 

This  letter  keeps  **you**  and  **your"  interests  in  the 
foreground ;  consequently  it  appeals  directly  to  the  cus- 
tomer. 

Again,  a  manufacturer  writes: 

We  have  perfected  and  are  now  prepared  to  supply  our  new, 
patent-lined,  double-rimmed,  rust-proof,  excelsior  gas  burner — 
the  peer  of  them  all.  May  we  not  receive  your  order  to  install 
these  burners  in  your  office  f 

In  this  letter  there  is  nothing  which  shows  how  the 
burner  will  benefit  me.  I  am  not  an  engineer,  interested 
in  the  mechanical  construction  of  a  gas  burner.  The 
patent  lining  and  the  double  rim  are  not  of  particular 
importance  to  me.  The  new  appliance  is  worth  while 
for  me  only  if  it  cuts  down  my  light  bill  or  furnishes  me 
a  better  light 


*'YOU"  INTEREST 


151 


The  writer  of  the  following  letter  realizes  that  fact:  In  contrast, 

this  one 


thought  of 
''your"  light 
bUls 


Don't  begin 
every 
sentence 
with  **we'* 


See  here,  Mr.  Gas  Burner,  you  spend  $2.50  a  month  more  for 
gas  light  than  you  should,  and  yet  in  spite  of  this  waste  you  are 
not  getting  the  brilliant  illumination  you  are  paying  for.  I  can 
cut  your  gas  bills  in  two,  give  you  better,  clearer,  brighter  light, 
and  save  you  $2.50  a  month.  And  the  whole  outlay  to  you  will  be 
simply  the  price  of  our  new  gas  burners. 

This  letter  makes  a  very  different  impression,  and  as 
a  result,  after  reading  it  I  probably  would  have  hurried 
to  the  mail  box  with  a  money  order.  Forget  yourself 
and  talk  about  the  other  man's  profits,  needs,  desires. 
Look  at  your  proposition  from  his  point  of  view,  and  he 
will  readily  see  it  from  yours. 

Don't  begin  your  letter  and  every  other  sentence 
with  **we."  You  may  be  the  ruling  power  in  your  own 
world,  but  your  reader  doesn't  know  it.  To  himself  he 
is  the  king  of  his  own  little  kingdom.  He  has  so  many 
things  to  think  about  that  he  isn't  interested  in  what  you 
are  doing.  And  yet  he  is  the  man  you  must  get  close  to 
if  you  expect  to  get  any  of  his  money.  He  is  interested 
only  when  he  is  sure  of  getting  some  money  himself.  I 
at  once  became  alive  to  the  proposition  when  I  received 
this  letter : 

Mr.  Betailer: 

Why  is  it  that  you — ^the  retailer — ^are  compelled  to  lose  more 
good  hard  cash  through  bad  debts  than  any  other  man  in  business! 

Every  month  you  have  to  charge  up  to  bad  debts,  scores  of 
good  fat  accounts  that  dead-beats  refuse  to  pay.  Mrs.  Jones  puts 
you  off;  Mrs.  Smith  tells  you  to  wait;  and  so  it  goes — season  aiter 
season.  You  could  almost  start  a  new  store  with  the  money  lost  by 
local  retailers  through  bad  debts. 

Now  suppose  we  could  tell  you  how  to  stop  this;  suppose  we 
could  tell  you  of  a  simple  collection  scheme  used  by  one  retailer 
down  in  Illinois  that  enabled  him  to  make  thirty  of  his  hardest  and 
slowest  customers  pay  up — ^penny  for  penny — ^the  hundreds  of  dol- 
lars they  owed  him.    Wouldn't  you  jump  at  the  chance  to  get  itf 

Now,  then,  in  the  book  described  by  the  circular  enclosed,  you  i  olfc  about 
can  get  this  very  collection  system;  the  simplest,  most  successful 
collection  system  ever  devised;  a  system  that  does  not  require  the 
assistance  of  an  expensive  collector ;  a  system  that  you  can  operate 
without  help — and  the  only  expense  is  the  cost  of  two  or  three 
two-cent  stsunps. 

That  is  the  kind  of  letter  that  jars  money  from  my 
cash  drawer.      The  guns  of  attractive  argument  and 


"you* 


152 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 


Farmed — **our'* 
iUKk 


Our"  itylet 


'Our**  oxfordt 


**Our" 
guarantee 


"Our'* 

catalogue 


Dear  Sir: 

Accept  our  thanks  for  your  favor  Just 
received.  We  are  glad  of  this  opportunity 
to  forward  you  a  catalogue  showing  the 
styles  which  we  carry  in  our  stockroom 
ready  for  immediate  use. 

Of  course  it  is  impossible  to  show  all 
the  styles  which  we  make.  The  illustrations 
shown,  simply  represent  some  of  the  season's 
best  sellers  as  selected  by  the  leading 
retailers  from  our  two  hundred  and  fifty 
styles  designed  by  our  selling  force. 

Our  shoes  are  correct  in  every  sense 
of  the  word.  Our  oxfords  possess  superior 
fitting  qualities.  They  do  not  gap  at  the 
ankle;  they  fit  close  and  do  not  slip  at 
the  heel;  they  are  the  coolest  shoe  for 
summer.  We  have  them  in  green,  red,  tan 
black  and  patent. 

Our  guarantee  is  something  that  is  of 
vital  importance  to  you  if  you  oare  to  be 
assured  of  full  value  for  your  money  spent. 

We  can  make  any  style  required  if  you 
fail  to  find  illustrated  in  our  catalogue 
just  the  shoe  you  desire  at  the  present 
time.  We  will  forward  the  shoes  prepaid 
upon  receipt  of  your  order  with  price,  and 
will  strive  to  serve  you  in  a  most  satis- 
factory manner. 

Yours  very  truly. 


THE  *^WE"  LETTER  LACKS  DIRECTNESS  AND  FORCE 


J 


Nothing  robs  a  letter  of  directness  more  than  a  lack  of  the  *'you''  element 
This  man  tries  to  sell  a  pair  of  shoes  by  talking  not  about  the  prospect  and  his. 
needs  but  about  himself  and  his  product.  Note  the  prevalence  of  **our"  and 
**we"  in  every  paragraph.    Half  of  the  words  are  mere  machinery. 


(( 


YOU'*  INTEREST 


Dear  Mr.  Sheldon: 

What  is  more  uncomfortable  and  aggra- 
vating than  an  ill-fitting  shoe? 

Make  up  your  mind  that  for  once  in 
your  life  you  will  have  a  shoe  that  satis- 
fies you  to  the  smallest  detail  —  a  shoe 
that  does  not  slip  at  the  heel  or  pinch  at 
the  toe,  a  shoe  that  will  not  wrinkle  or 
run  over  at  the  side. 

The  catalogue  you  requested  is  going 
to  you  todeiy  under  separate  cover.  I  want 
peurticularly  to  call  your  attention  to  the 
new  "Easy  Last"  style  on  page  37.  This  may 
be  Just  what  you  were  looking  for.  But  it 
is  only  one  of  the  54  attractive  styles  you 
will  find  illustrated. 

Select  the  style  and  finish  that  you 
like  best,  then  simply  fill  in  on  the  order 
blamk,  the  number,  size,  and  width  you  want, 
and  mail  to  us  today.  With  this  information 
to  guide  us  we  will  send  you,  all  charges 
prepaid,  the  very  day  that  your  order  is 
received,  a  pair  of  shoes  that  will  fit  you 
perfectly. 

Do  not  miss  this  opportunity  to  obtain 
real,  genuine  shoe  comfort.  Send  your  order 
at  once  —  today. 

Yours  very  truly. 


153 


**Your**»ho$ 
trouUei 

**Your**  wants 

**Your**  com- 
fort assured 


"Vour"  wante 
iupTplied 


**Your**  choice 


*'Your**   oppor 
tunity  gratped 


THE  *'YOU"  LETTER  TALKS  LIKE  A  GOOD  SALESMAN 

In  this  rehandling  of  the  shoe  proposition  on  the  opposite  page  the  dealer 
comes  over  to  the  customer's  side,  just  as  a  clever  salesman  would,  and  turns  in 
to  help  him  **get  a  fit.*'  So  the  entire  letter  shows  an  understanding  of  "your" 
shoe  troubles  and  **your"  needs,  and  offers  **you"  satisfaction. 


151 


Show 
interest  in 
the  custom- 
er's needs 


A  Hre  manu- 
facturer who 
did  not 


I 


An  engine 
manufac- 
turer who  did 


m 


HOW  TO  WRITE  BUSINESS  LETTERS 

effective  salesmanship  are  leveled  directly  at  me.  I  must 
either  get  out  of  the  way  or  stand  and  take  the  shot.  I 
buy  because  **you  and  your  collections'*  has  been  the 
attitude  of  the  letter. 

I  am  not  interested  in  your  proposition  until  you 
have  shown  some  interest  in  my  affairs.  And  you  can 
never  make  me  believe  that  you  are  really  interested  in 
me  by  everlastingly  harping  on  **we." 

A  tire  manufacturer  answers  my  inquiry  with  this : 

We  have  your  favor  of  the  fourteenth  stating  that  you  are  in- 
terested in  our  advertisement  of  Wonder  Tires.  We  are  enclosing 
our  Wonder  booklet  which  illustrates  and  describes  our  Wonder 
tread.  We  would  be  very  glad  to  give  you  any  further  informa- 
tion and  our  best  price.  Trusting  that  you  will  insist  on  Wonder 
Tires,  we  are,  yours  very  truly. 

Now  I  was  interested  in  the  advertisement,  but  is 
there  one  single  reason  in  that  **we''  spotted  letter  why 
I  should  continue  to  be  interested,  why  I  should  ** insist'' 
on  having  Wonder  Tires?  What  I  wanted  from  that 
manufacturer  was  tire  talk  that  applied  to  me.  His  in- 
terest in  the  deal  was  obvious.  It  was  mine  that  was 
essential  to  a  sale.    And  that  letter  killed  it. 

Contrast  it  with  this  from  a  manufacturer  who  would 
sell  me  an  engine : 

You  know  what  a  nuisance  it  is  to  set  out  to  equip  a  boat  and 
find  that  you  haven 't  got  this  and  you  haven 't  got  that.  Before 
you  finish,  it  has  coat  a  quarter  or  a  third  more  than  you  figured  on. 

Customers  have  often  asked  us:  **What  does  your  equip- 
ment include!  Why  don't  you  make  it  complete?"  That's  just 
what  we're  trying  to  do  from  now  on — ^we  are  going  to  **put  in 
everything."    And  what's  more,  we're  going  to  pay  tiie  freight. 

That  man  is  talking  to  me.  He  knows  my  boat 
troubles.  He's  talking  to  me  in  my  own  boat  house,  and 
I  read  on  through  his  description  and  sales  argument 
with  interest,  because  I  feel  from  the  first  word  that  the 
writer  of  that  letter  understands  my  needs. 

To  be  a  successful  writer  you  must  talk  about  your 
customer  and  his  affairs.    See  that  you  get  the  word 
you"  in  the  opening  sentence.    For  example: 


<< 


''YOU"  INTEREST 

Tou  can  make  a  larger  profit  if  you  sell  Dufii  's  Molasses,  than 
if  you  don 't.  Your  customers  want  Duff 's  Molasses,  and  they  are 
going  to  get  it 'somewhere.  You  can  make  big  profits  by  getting 
in  line  early, — and  so  on. 

The  grocer  is  interested  in  this  proposition  because 
it  offers  to  put  money  in  his  cash  drawer.  There  is  no 
more  interesting  proposition  to  him  than  that.  When  he 
reads  this  letter,  he  must  decide  whether  he  will  order 
and  make  good  profits,  or  stand  idly  by  while  his  com- 
petitor gathers  in  the  benefits. 

And  now  when  you  have  just  about  determined  to 
inject  some  of  the  '*you"  element  into  your  letters,  culti- 
vate the  ability  to  get  over  on  the  buyer's  side  and  look 
at  your  proposition  through  his  eyes.  A  good  sales- 
man never  mentions  the  selling  end  of  his  game;  he 
emphasizes  the  buying  point  (pages  152  and  153). 

You  may  think  it  selfish,  but  I  repeat  that  the  nearest 
subject  to  me  is  me.  The  most  interesting  theme  with 
you  is  you.  It  is  a  human  trait — ^as  infallible  as  a  phys- 
ical law. 


155 

This  letter 
means 

money  to  the 
grocer 


The  "you 
element" 
means  em- 
phasizing 
the  buying 
points — not 
the  selling 
points 


'     m\ 


INDEX 


Acknowledging  order,  letter  25,  30 

— how  to  begin  §0 

— how  to  close  31 

— when  goods  are  shipped  30 

— when  goods  are  not  shipped  30 

Adjustment  letter  29 

Advance  in  price  107 

Appeal,  to  appetite  In  sales  letter  77 

— to  fear  in  sales  letter  77 

Appeals,  various  human  interest  77 

Application,  letter  of  20 

— business  experience,  how  to  state    21 

— education,  covering  your  21 

— essential  element  in  20 

— how  to  start  It  20 

— qualifications,  how  to  state  20 

— references  and  personal  history       21 

Arguments,   distributing   in   sales   'ol- 

low-up  127 

— effective  arrangement  l^o 

Arrangement,  common  errors  in  14 

— well-balanced  15 

Attention  §8 

—advantages  of  display  head  70 

— combined  with  interest  74 

— different  from  interest  74 

— disadvantages  of  display  bead  72 

— ^formal  vs.  personal  be^nning  69 

— form  for  first  sentence  73 

— ^in  acknowledging  inquiries  69 

— ^in  sales  letter  61 

— in  two  classes  of  sales  letters  68 

— in  unsolicited  sales  letter  70 

—."irritating"  display  head  72 

— ^modified  display  head  73 

— psychology  of  display  head  72 

— two  ways  of  winning,  illustrated    71 

— use  display  head  cautiously  73 

—winning  it  at  the  start  68 


B 


Brevity 


19 


Cablegram 

24 

Curbon  copies 

13 

•  }2 

Clearness 

19 

Climax,  see  also  Summary  and  climax 

— in  sales  letter 

66 

— purpose 
— the  clincher 

110 

110 

-—the  summary  and 

110 

— two  parts  of  the 
Clincher 
— coupon,  serially  numbered 
— coupon,  when  bad 
-guarantee  blank 


110 
110 
116 
116 
116 


— how  to  use  coupon  or  return  card  114 
— makes  ordering  easy  111 

—what  it  does  111,  117 

Collection  letter  43 

— a  five-letter  series  shown  54-56 

— appeal  to  debtor's  pride  49 

— appeal  to  ease  50 

— appeal  to  fear  50 

— appeal  to  sense  of  fair  play  49 

— arguments  for  payment  48 

— a  series  analyzed  53,  58 

— asking  explanation  of  non-payment  47 
—collection  talk  proper  47 

— dealing  with  customer's  reply  47 

— dignified  "need  the  money '  argu- 
ment 49 
— effect  of  series  shown  59 
— elements  of  46 
— forms  of  notification  46 
— getting  the  right  tone  44 
—"hard  up"  plea  45 
— how  it  differs  from  sales  letter  43 
— if  explanation  is  satisfactory  48 
— if  explanation  is  unsatisfactory  48 
— keeping  customer's  good  will  45 
— ^kinds  of  debtors  48 
— making  it  easy  to  pay  61 
— personal  appeals  49 
— regarding  the  debt  as  an  obliga- 
tion 44 
— request  to  "pay  now"  51 
— sales  talk  in  51 
— showing  personal  interest  in  debtor  45 
— statement  of  account  46 
— summary  of  elements  in  52 
— use  of  forms  44 
Complaint  letter  82 
— an  untactful  reply  to  36 
—^  specimen  complaint  36 
— attitude,  angry  39 
— attitude,  flippant  39 
— attitude,  suspicious  89 
— <:las8es  of  complaints  33 
—effect  of  methods  of  handling  com- 
plaints 34 
— fault  undetermined  38 
— ^house  at  fault,  claim  granted  33 
— house    not    at    fault    but    claim 

cranted  35 

— house  not  at  fault,  claim  refused    33 
— how  mistake  was  made  40 

— how  mistake  will  be  rectified  41 

— how   to   concede  justice   of   com- 
plaint 35 
— how  salesman  feels  about  mistake  41 


158  INDEX 


'Mi 


—object  of  adjnatmeot  82 
— prompt  reply  to  40 
— pattlntr  yourself  in  a  false  posi- 
tion In  38 
— satisfying  the  customer  88 
— tactful  reply  to  37 
— variation  of  elements  In  reply  to  42 
— writer's  attitude  32 
— wrong  and   right   way   to  handle 

_          complaints  34,  35 

Contract  letters  26 

Coupon,  bad  when  complicated  116 

— or  return  card  114 

— serially  numbered  110 

Credit    information,    reply    to  letter 

asking  for  27 

— requests  for  25 

— where  obtained  26 

Customer,  how  to  visualize  9 

— keeping  his  good  will  45 

Customer  letter  ordering  goods  27 
— accurate  description  necessary         28 

— metliod  of  payment  28 

— shipping  instructions  28 

— three  chief  elements  27 

C*ustomers,  how  to  classify  9 


Dealer  help  letter 

— bad  example 

— good  example 
Description,  see  Explanation  and 

scription 

— in  sales  letter 
Development  of  the  business  letter 
Direct  sales  letter 

— repetition  of  arguments  In 
Display  head,  advantages  of 

— disadvantages  of 

— in  sales  letter 

— "Irritating"  head 

— modified  form  of 

—psychology  of 

—use  with  caution 


de- 


132 
183 
183 


68 

7 

119 

120 

70 

72 

70 

72 

78 

72 

78 


E 


Blements,  In  sales  follow-up  aeries  128 

— of  answer  to  a  complaint  letter  40 

— of  collection  letter  02 

—of  sales  letter  62 

Enclosures,  as  proof  93 

— ^value  of  descriptive  87 

Bxhortation,  how  to  use  06 

— type  of  persuasion  96 

Explanation  and  description  81 

— effective  suggestion  in  87 

— examples  of  general  and  Bpeclile  85 
— examples   showing  reader's  point 

of  view  84 
— how  to  make  It  vivid  82 
— how  to  start  gi 
— make  It  specific  86 
— more  detail  In  less  familiar  arti- 
cles 83 
— new  wajs  to  express  old  Ideas  86 


— original  phraseology 

— pick  details  to  fit  the  reader 

— points  of  superiority  In  article 

— reader's  point  of  view 

— select  details  carefully 

— value  of  enclosures 


raise  Inducements 

Form  letters,  and  sales  follow-op 

— dealer  help 

— need  not  be  impersonal 

— supplied  to  dealer 
Forms,  In  collecting  by  mall 
Free  trial 

— as  proof 


6 


"Ginger-up"  letter 

— ^good  example  of 
Qaarantee  blank 


103, 


Indentation 
Inducement 

— advance  in  price 

— free  trial 

— In  sales  letter 

— kinds  of 

— "limited  supply"  warning 

— low  prices,  dull  season 

— naturally  expressed 

— one  that  pulled  many  orders 

— ^reduced  price 

— relation  to  persuasion 

— various  kinds  suggested 

— warning  against  false 

—-what  it  means 

— what  it  should  do 
Interest  appeal  to  appetite 

•^^ppeal  to  fear 

— combined  with  attention 

— dilferent  from  attention 

— example     of     "human     Interest* 
appeal 

— "human  interest"  story 

— methods  of  arousing 

—-mingled  elements  in  winning 

— specimen  letter  showing 

— the  news  story 

— the  reader's,  not  yours 

— touching  reader's  problem 

— 'Various  human  interest  appeals 

— 'Ways  to  create 

— when  necessary  to  create 

— won  by  comparisons 
Introduction,  letter  of 
Inquiry,  letter  of 

— a  good  reply  to  a 
Inqolry,  reply  to 


108 
131 
132 
182 
132 

44 
107 

88 


184 
134 
116 


17 

103 

107 

107 

66 

104 

104 

107 

105 

106 

107 

104 

107 

108 

103 

108 

77 

77 

74 

74 

76 
76 
74 
76 
76 
77 
79 
78 
77 
79 
80 
78 
19 
25 
26 


INDEX 


K 


*'Keyinfl^*'  methods  used  in 
— repues  to  sales  letter 


181 
130 


Low  prices,  dull  season 


M 


107 


Make-np  of  letter,  accepted  standards  12 
—engraved  or  printed  stationery         13 


envelope  address 

—errors  in  arrangement 

—indentation 

—margins 

— name,  address,  and  date 

— 'neatness,  value  of 

— size  of  envelope 

— size  of  sheet 

— spacing 

— well-balanced  arrangement 
Margins 
"Money  back,"  in  proof 


18 
14 
17 
16 
16 
18 
13 
12 
17 
15 
16,  17 
89 


N 


Name,  address  and  date 

News  story,  in  arousing  interest 

News  value 
— a  letter  on  canaries 
—drawn  from  your  business 
— examples  of  effective  use 
— examples  of  trade  news 
— how  It  was  put  to  work 
— miscellaneous  topics 
—public  topics 
T— trade  topics 
— two  kinds  of  stories 
— ^wliat  it  will  do 


16 

77 

135 

139 

139 

136 

138 

137 

130 

135,  136 

135,  138 

135 

139 


O 


Ordering  goods,  letters 


25 


Personality,  a  letter  with  it  148 

— a  letter  without  it  142 

— at  beginning  and  end  141 

—depends  on  man-to-man  attitude  144 
— ^friendly  letter  begets  friends  148 

— ^Mendly  Interest,  example  of  144 

— friendly     Interest    must    not    be 

obtrusive  148 

— In  a  letter  selling  a  boat       146,  147 


— in  a  letter  selling  fish 
— letter  like  a  salesman 
— makes  letter  distinctive 
— means  partly  originality 
— must  be  pleasing 


159 


145 
140 
148 
141 
144 


-requires  nreshness  of  expression     141 

Personal      tone,      avoid      stereotyped 

phrases  10 

— classifying  customers  9 

— closing  the  letter  11 

— creating  a  typical  customer  9 

— how  to  secure  it  8 

— looking  at  customer  as  an  individ- 
ual 8 
^-opening  the  letter  10 
— talking  to  the  "average"  man  10 
— ^visualizing  the  customer  9 
— ^wbat  it  means  8 

Persuasion  96 

— a  good  example  of  08 

— a  letter  lacking  in  90 

— combined  with  other  elements       100 
— examples  of  suggestive  100 

— exhortation,  one  type  of  96 

— effect  of  exhortation  06 

— how  to  use  exhortation  96 

—"injured  dignity"  letter  101 

— in  sales  letter  63 

— object  of  102 

— promise  of  gain 
— showing    prospect 

benefit 
— ^suggesting  benefits 
— two  types  of 
— warning  in  use  of 
— ^what  it  does 

Power  of  the  business  letter 

Proof,  by  a  free  trial 
— enclosures 

— example  of  convincing 
— for  every  claim 
— Indirect 
— in  sales  letter 
— insincerity,  cause  of 
— insincerity,  remedy  for 
— "money  back" 
— reference  to  authorities 
— samples  enclosed 
— scientific 

— suggesting  simple  tests 
— testimonials 
—testimonials,  modified 
— tone  of  sincerity  necessary  to 


bow    be 


Q 

Quotations,  writing  for  28 

R 


Recommendation,  letter  of  22 

Reduced  price  107 

Reference  letter  22 

— example  of  a  good  one  23 

References,  in  letter  of  application  21 

Return  card  114 


li 


V 


V 


160 


INDEX 


118,   119 
126 


121, 


Sales  follow*up  series 

— arrangement  of  arguments 

— a  successful  series 

— dealer  help  letter 

— direct  sales 

— distributing  arguments  in 

— elements  in 

— form  letters 

— general  publicity 

— "ginger-up"  letter 

— how  elements  vary  in 

— how  to  handle  replies 

— how  to  handle  the  "split" 

— "keeping"  methods  used  in 

— length  of  letters 

— repetition  of  arguments 

— trying  out  the  arrangement 

— two  classes  of  follow-up 

— series  analyzed 

— test,  how  to  conduct 

— test  "keeping"  replies 

— test,  picking  places  for 

— test,  value  of 

— ^what  each  letter  does 

— what  it  does 

— when    inquiry 
only 

— ^when    Inquiry 
swers 

— why  necessary 
Sales  letter 

— a  good  specimen 

— a  bad  specimen 

— arrangement  of 

— climax 

—description 

— elements     compared     with     sales- 
man's talk 

— getting  attention 

—how  to  plan 

— inducement 

— leading  up  to  buying  point 

— leagth  of 

— one  that  failed 

— one  that  won 

— persuasion 

— principles  of  salesmanship  In 

— proof 

— six  elements  of 

— specimen,   illustrating  elements 

— "the  whip"  in  a 
Salesmanship  in  a  letter 
Sales  talk  in  collection  letter 
Samples,  as  proof 
Scientific  proof 


needs   one   answer 
needs    several    an- 


125 
132 
119 
127 
128 
131 
119 
134 
129 
127 
128 
131 
129 
120 
126 
119 
126 
129 
130 
130 
131 
120 
118 

128 

127 
118 
60 
65 
64 
60 
66 
63 

61 

61 

61 

66 

115 

129 

112 

113 

63 

60 

63 

61 

62 

67 

60 

60 

89 

92 


Spacing,  single  vs.  double 

•Split"  In  sales  follow-up 

Standards  in  letter  make-up 

Stationery,  engraved  or  printed 
— standard  size  envelope 
— standard  size  sheet 
— variations  in  size 

Stereotyped  phrases 

Summary  and  climax,  another  kind  of 
clincher  117 

— clincher  110 

— clincher,  what  it  does  111 

— coupon  114,  116 

— coupon,  serially  numbered  116 

— guarantee  blank  116 

— purpose  illustrated  109 


17 
128 
12 
13 
13 
12 
13 
10 


Telegram  24 

Test,  for  sales  follow-up  series  126 

— how  to  conduct  129 

— "keying"  replies  130 

— methods  used  in  "keying"  replies  131 


— selecting  places  for 

— rvalue  of 
Tests,  as  proof 
Testimonials,    as   proof 

— modified 
Tone  of  the  modern  business  letter 
Typewriter  ribbons 


130 
131 
92 

m 

03 

7 

18 


w 


"Whip,-  In  a  sales  letter 


m 


"You"  interest 
— a  letter  with  it,  analyzed 
— a  letter  without  It,  analyzed 
— customer's  needs  forgotten 
— customer's  needs  remembered 
— emphasizes  buying  points 
— examples  of 
— examples  of  lack  of 
— how  to  get  it 
— means  profit  from  a  letter 
— waste-basket  letters 
— what  reader  lookg  for 


149 
158 
152 
154 
154 
155 
151 
150 
161 
156 
149 
150 


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Date  Due 


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END  OF 

TITLE 


